So, I call him..say I'm at the door and I hear him:
"Hey..wasn't sure.." I say.
John is dressed in black dress pants, black dress shoes, and a grey button down shirt. He's short - 5'7" maybe? But he's a cuttie. Has some black scruff down to a goatee type small beard. I don't go for bearded guys..but, his facial hair was not at all too much. His house is nicely furnished and decorated. Everything looked new and clean.
"Sit down." he says.
We sit on the leather sectional. He was very easy to talk to. We chatted for about 20 minutes..about our jobs, about his house - he showed me around. He's getting married soon..very soon - and his wife, obviously will be moving in. So, I bring up his pending nuptials.
"So, why are you getting married?" I ask.
"What do you mean why?"
"Well, you're getting married..but you're also here..with me. Asked me to come over..isn't that odd? I mean, I get it..I'm living it..just wondering what you're thinking." I explain.
"Well, I want the family life, kids, the house..all of it." he says smiling.
"I get it..I have that. But, it's hard you know?"
He continues smiling...he's got a great smile...but...he's smiling. I'm kinda explaining how I'm torn....
"I love my kids..I wouldn't change that for anything. But it's a hard life. You're living two lives..I mean..I won't speak for you..but I'm living two lives..I know it's wrong. I'm not happy about it..I just ..I'm not trying to convince you..I'm not telling you not to get married...I'm just trying..to give you some friendly advice." I explain.
"I'm good though. It doesn't bother me. I'm cold hearted that way." he says. "It's not like I can come out to family and friends."
Strikes me oddly..this guy..he's getting married to his school yard girlfriend. But..he's into guys..he's me..but..it's 2012..he 25. He shouldn't be rushing into things...but..it's not my place to convince someone - someone I'm meeting for the first time - not to get married. To call off a marriage 1 month before it is to occur.
Yes, it would be devastating for his family, his fiance, to find out the truth - but..better now than later, no?
Or worse yet - live a life..like mine.