Online Dating

Here is an interesting article I came across. I think we're all guilty of this to some extent!

*****
"No Fats, Femmes, or..." - The Ugly Side of Online Dating" 

By: Colby Scott

11.9.2011 

It's been seven years since I was last single, and a lot has changed since then. I'm no longer a cute twink, but I am still young at 29; in fact, I feel like I've grown into my looks and I'm more confident than ever before. But going out as a single guy is a lot different now—and not just because it's somewhat strange having younger guys look at me like I'm an "older man."
When I was single in my early twenties I would go out with friends, we'd meet new people, flirt, and if we were lucky get a phone number. If you didn't get a number and were still feeling frisky when you got home, then you might jump online and hit a couple chat rooms (or just pull out your favorite DVD for some quality alone time). Now it's like that flirting game is gone. Guys hit the bars with friends to hang out, not necessarily to meet other people. And you can't usually talk to them because they're glued to their phones, faces shining in a ghostly light as they use mobile apps to see who's nearby and looking to hook up. It was a little annoying at first, but if that's the way things were now, and I was single, then I figured I needed to join the new gay digital age.

"No Fats, Femmes, or Faggots," one profile requested. I ran my finger over my phone's screen to slide the image up and down for a second, just to confirm that my eyes weren't playing tricks on me.
"Tired of flaky queens. Looking for something deeper," one earnestly stated. Then the person added, "Must live in the city, have a job, and be 29-35."
"U in shape, hot, bottom?" asked another. "Great! If not, C ya."
"No Asians!" a third read. "Don't even waste my time."

Online profiles have always been specific, with guys making it very clear what type of man they're looking for while at the same time describing themselves for the reader in (hopefully) honest terms. Similar cruel or ugly conditions could often be found when I was single as well, but back then there was an emotional and physical distance; this person was at home, maybe not even in your city, so it was easier to brush him off as a jerk with issues. Today the man could be in the room with you—his face photo may even be present on that app—and he's perfectly fine letting you know that he's "not into nelly rice queens looking for a daddy." (Yes, that's an actual quote.)

Nevertheless, I searched around and found a handsome guy who didn't have all that garbage on his profile. I sent him a text and this was our exchange:

HIM: Hey. How old?
ME: 29
HIM: Really? You look older.
ME: Yep. Real age, real photo.
HIM: Did you read my profile?
ME: Yeah. You read mine?
HIM: I'm only into ripped guys. Sorry. You got a better pic you can send?

Here's the worst part: I told him to hang on and started scrolling through my phone to see if I had a hotter photo than what I was using for my profile. For whatever reason I wanted this guy to like me, be interested in me. I wanted a shirtless one, something that showed him just how sexy I felt about myself, and after asking him to hold on for a minute I found one and sent it off. Then I got this reply: "Thanks anyway."
As I read those two words I wondered what was wrong with us gay people. We complain that the only images representing gay men are of sexy studs with ripped muscles, and yet that's the guy we demand when we're supposedly looking for love online. We don't have the balls to meet one another face-to-face, but we can flippantly brush aside another human being simply because of his photo, his hairline, his ethnicity, or because his profile sounds too boring, bitchy or slutty. We've all done it to some extent, myself included, and we make the excuse that we don't want to waste our time, that we're just being honest, and yet we're forgetting that there is a real person on the other end of this conversation and our ugly words can really screw with someone's self esteem. Is it any surprise, that so many of us throw up a bitchy shield so that we can protect our own egos while simultaneously preparing ourselves to knock down the next guy who may take a swipe at us?

If we ever want to get away from "flaky gays" and experience real, meaningful relationships, then perhaps it's time to grow up and start giving each other the respect we want for ourselves—both online and in the real world.

No Fats No Femmes Or Ugly

Hump Day: JC

JC is a 26-year-old French model, now residing in California

Environmentally Sound

Did you vote this week? Please vote for this blog!  A 5 is best! Vote here.

Hey..I care about the environment! I don't toss garbage out my car window (most of the time) and recycle plastics, newspapers, cans at home.

After a trip to the city, I got in my car and headed back toward my office.  Logged onto Grindr and immediately get a few messages.  It's great when you travel out of your home area - there are new guys, new people to chat with...But on this day, I had little time..so if it was going to work, it had to be a quickie.

One message was from a Latin guy. Pic looked good and he sent me a message saying he was a "lean, smooth bottom dude." He then gave me two very convincing pics.

"Only have a few minutes" I told him.
"Come over for a quick fuck" he said.
"Ddf?" I ask (drug and disease free)
"Yes." He says.

He gives me his address and I find it quickly. I park and head to his house. Yea, I've been to this neighborhood before..even recognize the street a little...but..was it a guy I met before? hmm..


He opens the door and smiles, welcomes me into his house and mentions how we met before.

"We did?" I ask.
"Yea, a while ago" he says.

When I walk into his bedroom, it all comes back to me. We did meet (Latin Heat) and it wasn't a bad experience. His room was still a mess, but he seemed normal, nice.

"Ah" I say "I remember now. You gave me a massage"
"We didn't fuck?" he asks.
"No..we didn't" I say as we quickly take off our clothes.

He lays on the bed face down butt in the air. I lay on top of him and rub my cock against his butt and I'm slowly starting to get hard.

"You want to fuck? he asks.
"Yea" I tell him.

I grab a condom off his dresser and roll it on my cock. He grabs some poppers for himself and I also grab the lube and lube up my cock.  He flips to his back and puts his legs on my shoulders as I attempt to enter a very hot, tight ass.

After a few seconds of pushing..I'm in..yet not all the way in. I take my cock out and put some more lube on my cock and try again.  With little success in that position he gets up and turns over, ass at the edge of the bed, and me standing fucking his hot hole.   I finally get all the way in and get a few strokes in until I pop out again.

He turns over and grabs my cock..and takes off the condom.

"Lets try again" he says. "I want to get fucked by you but I'm real tight."
"Sure" I say and he turns to get another condom.

He opens his drawer. No condom. He goes to his dresser..no condom. Under his pile of clothes..on his desk..other night stand...nothing.

"Fuck!" he says. "I have one I know. Let me check with my roommate."
He runs down the hallway and returns quickly.
"He's asleep. Can't wake him. How about I run down the block and come back in two minutes."
I laugh. "It's only going to take me two minutes to cum."
"Well, how about we re-use that condom I took off" he suggests.

He grabs the condom and lubes it up and stretches it over my awaiting cock. I know it's not broken because there's air in the tip..so we're OK and I squeeze the air out, lube it up real good and he gets on the bed again on his back with legs on my shoulder.

I get my cock in pretty quickly this time and we're kissing and fucking. In a few minutes (I know my cock, don't I?) I'm again ripping off the condom off and blowing my load on his chest as he strokes himself off.

"Anytime you want to come back again, let me know" he says as we clean up and I make my way out the door.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

The Weight is Over

Finally! I think I've found the secret to losing weight (sounds like one of those emails you get that somehow avoids the spam filter)..but it's true!

You all are probably well aware of my obsession with my weight (as well as the weight of others). Admittedly I'm sorry to say that I am prejudice towards fat people.  While far from "fat", for years, I've been unable to lose the couple pounds that I've wanted. Well those days are over!

When I was in college I weighed a skinny 180. Back then, I could eat everything (and I did!). Ice cream, cakes, beer, cookies..bags at a time. In the following years, I gained weight slowly. As I got older - my 30's, my 40's..I noticed my metabolism slowed quite a bit. I could no longer eat what I wanted whenever I wanted and in any quantity. In my late 30's I started working out..and saw results. Then..the results stopped. My eating habits started to change..eating more healthy and eliminating some of the good stuff. But, still..no change in my weight. I was stuck at 195, 196 pounds. It was frustrating. I noticed my weigh, even though I was very active and worked out and ate healthy..was fluctuating anywhere from 195 to 198 on a weekly basis.

Then I found an app! (Yes, there's an app for that!)  I'm sure there are many apps available to count calories. I started using it on my smart phone..and lugged everything in. It keeps track of everything you eat..and all your exercises. You input a goal, and you know..meal by meal whether you're going to exceed you allotted calorie intake or not. It keeps me on track for the whole day.

So, if you pass by the kitchen and grab a few cookies..bam! that's 213 calories! I cut out all that extraneous eating and snaking and even changed some habits for the better! Lunch meat is the worst! So I changed it to grilled chicken which I make on the weekends and make my own healthy, great sandwiches all week long! At dinner, I sit down, start inputting and it forces me to make the better choices. Pass on the pasta..extra helping of green beans!

It also pushes me to be more active (yea - even more than the 6 days a week at the gym). So if I want that cookie...I head outside and shoot some baskets with the kids! Take that calories!

Guys..seriously..in the past 5 weeks...I've gone from a high of 198 to around 190...and soon..I'll be under! 8 fucking pounds from a guy who couldn't lose weight no matter what I did!

If you have problems losing weight..you don't realize what your eating. Check out an app on your smartphone and start counting your way to THIN!

Frat Star Fridays! Graduation

Can I just surf on this guy's back?

My name is Frat Star, and this is my personal column at BiLikeMe. You can find my other blog here. If you'd like to drop me a line, you can reach me at wsa215@gmail.com. Sorry that I can't respond to all emails, but I do try my best.

Hey, sorry this is late, but I've just finished graduating college. Coincidentally, I also graduated on my birthday. What's so cool about this is that I graduated both college and high school on my birthday so that's a really cool little fact.

We all woke up at 6AM in order to arrive at chapel by 8AM. After that we had some speakers -- two of which bored me to tears -- and we were finished by around 1PM. I'm actually sitting here with my gown in my lap right now and it's pretty fucking badass.

Sorry about the brevity, but I'm just trying to get out there tonight. Holla.

Boot Camp

Please vote for this blog!  A 5 is best! Vote here.

On Grindr, I see a profile that looked intriguing: the pic is of a dark haired handsome man. He's listed as 32 years old, 5'7" and 144lbs. What really gets me interested is that it says he's a professional, educated man and looking for a date. Also says he's a bottom. Sounds like a perfect match, huh?

We begin chatting..but then, I see in his profile that he has "many interests and fetishes." I ask him about his interests.

"I like leather, uniforms, tall riding boots, gloves, feet and sneakers." he says.
"Jesus..is this sex or a steeple chase?" I ask.  "Sorry, don't think we're a match."
"Well, it's my fetish, not yours." he responds.
"I understand..but..we date, we like each other..soon, you need to get what you want. I'm not into it..not willing." I explain.
"Doesn't have to be that way." he says.

I don't know..seems like even the normal one's are abnormal.

Hump Day: Gregory

Gregory Verdoes

A Leg Up

After a month or more of not hitting the spa, it was time. My back was starting to act up and I figured a few hours of soaking in some hot water would do it good.

I got there and it was nearly empty..quiet..which is sometimes a good thing.  I hit the showers then the steam room for 15 minutes. Then, made my way over to the jetted pools for some more R&R.  After another shower and a shave, again I hit the steam room. When I entered there were a few guys in there..one I had seen before..tall, moderately hairy..and probably could use to lose 10 pounds - if you wanted him to be normal - 20 if you wanted him to have a hot body (30 if you're like me and like 'em 'Auschwitz" thin). He sat there on his towel all exposed (which is the way I sit in a sauna). Also sitting in the steam room was another guy..also pretty tall..probably 6'1" - 6'2", nice face..cute eyes, nice lips..and he weighed maybe 165..just right!  He was long and lean..with great legs.  He was sitting with a towel across his lap covering his goodies. After a while he got up, cooled off in the showers and returned.

Then I took my turn to cool off, getting a drink of water and then returning to the steam room. As I entered, I noticed quick hands moving to cover themselves and hide whatever they were doing..obviously something that they shouldn't be doing. I sat back down and sweated some more...waiting for someone to make the first move. I guess, walking in with a wedding band on my hand, maybe they thought I wasn't open to play..so, after a little while of waiting, I took a towel, wiped my sweat off my brow, my chest and down to my cock..brushing against it. Then, I let my hand drape down between my legs to again, brush my cock.  I guess that's all it took..seeing that I was possibly open to playing..they both started touching themselves.  The hairy guy had a huge cut cock. The thin guy..looked uncut..but not objectionably so.


Soon someone else walked in and the heat getting the better of me, I walked out to return to the shower and then to the jacuzzi pools. I sat in the pool, relaxing with my legs spread out straight in front of me. Soon, both the playmates appeared, first the thin guy..who walked into the same pool as me..and crossed right in front of me - allowing my legs to brush up against his butt..legs and back.  The bubbling concealed my legs as he sat in front of me at a facing jet while I wrapped my legs around him..letting my feet stroke his legs, brush his hot ass. He reached around and touched my legs, then up between them to my cock which began getting hard. He started stroking me and continued brushing his body against my legs..allowing my legs to spread apart as he moved up and down them, as he stroked me.  I thought to myself incredulously: "I'm going to fuck this guy right here..right now..right in this jacuzzi.  How can I do that!? I can't do that here..in the open..without protection! But damn! I want to do it!"

Thank god it never got to that point..but it was very sensuous..very erotic. Soon, the hairy guy came in the jacuzzi..sitting next to thin guy. Thin guy began to stroke him too..and I maneuvered my way next to him..as he continued to stroke me as he stroked hairy dude and apparently, he was getting stroked by hairy dude. I was rubbing his legs, those long, nearly hairless legs - his chest, tweaking his nipples and touching his ass - lingering with my fingers around his hole. Soon, I was cumming in the jacuzzi as he jerked me off..and I can only imagine he did too at some point.

I felt kinda guilty blowing a load in the public jacuzzi although I'm sure it happens all the time there. I suppose..it being so quiet..that in a half hour the churning water would get sanitized by the chlorine and the filter..well..it was a big load, so maybe an hour or two ;)


Anyway, I headed to the showers, cleaned off and then grabbed a bit for lunch. Soon, thin guy appeared, also grabbing some food and talking on his phone. Later, I returned to the locker room, noticing hairy guy already leaving and then, the return of thin guy. Back to the steam room, then..deciding to relax some more..to a dark, quiet sleeping room.  There was one older, bigger, hairy guy in there. Then, thin guy comes in, and lays in the chair next to me. Soon..he's brushing his hand along my arm..grabbing my fingers and hand. Again..very erotic and sensual! Loooving it!

He reaches for my chest and down to my cock. The guy next to us is obviously hard..I guess enjoying the live show (although I objected - thin guy just said to ignore him - let him watch and jerk off). I reach for his cock and start stroking him as I place my other hand on his chest, rubbing his nipples. I also get to touch his amazing long legs. I'm not quite sure if he actually shaves them..because they weren't exactly smooth..felt more like stubble..or probably a little more than stubble. So maybe he's just lightly hairy on his legs - in any case..they were really nice ones!

I jerk him off on his chest..then wipe him clean with a towel. He reaches over and again grabs my chest..rubbing my nipples as I'm jerking off. I take his hand, rub it against my cheek then take a thin finger and place it in my mouth as I blow my load (#2!) on my chest. I wipe up and we both close our eyes for a much needed nap.

Selective Memory

There was a time when I'd get more than butterflies in my stomach. There were damn near elephants in there! If I had made plans to meet someone, to hook up..I'd be so nervous..so worried.

Often, the meetings were little more than getting jerked off or blown by some guy. But, still, I was nervous. Then, after, I'd get the guilts.  I'd be so worried going home that I'd be found out...that someone would see something different, notice or smell something on me.

But, like a soldier who see's his brothers in arms routinely get killed or the kid who plays violent video games..they get desensitized by the repeated nature of the actions and no longer see the actions as violent - I no longer feel the guilt.

My life is otherwise normal..family time, kids, work. But, once a week or so...I do things that I now, no longer feel is odd or worth feeling guilty about.

It's  a progression. You go from one year of "can I actually do this?" to "how can I do this?" to "when can I do this again?" When I sit back and think about it..or write about it now..those guilty feelings still come back - like battle scars.


Some days..I'm just so tired...tired of sneaking around..weary of the anonymous, casual and meaningless sex that brings immediate, yet only momentary relief.  Sometimes, I'm tired of life in general.

I see "normal" couples walking around seemingly happy. I want that..for myself and my wife. It would be simple, it would be stress-free, it would be nice.

But, I know..there's no way to accomplish that. There's no way to turn the switch off. There's no pill, medicine or elixir for what I feel...for what I desire. If there was a way..a procedure..but, absent castration..I unfortunately don't think there's a way to stop.

My! Have You Grown

I know I'm going to get shit about this..but, it was all innocent..well, mostly.

I was at the gym. Didn't go my usual time, and I saw some new people there.  I started my run on the treadmill. I see this guy..in the distance..one thing that gets my attention on a guy is his shirt..I love Wife-beaters, and love cutoff muscle shirts. This guy was wearing a cutoff that was cut way low..almost down to his lower ribs. Now, I'm far enough away so I am not able to see him clearly, but he is obviously hot.

He goes to one of the cable stations and is doing triceps. I'm running...

He hits the head (bathroom) and comes out..I'm running...

He disappears, out of my site for 15 or so minutes (obviously working on some of the machines in the back of the gym) and reappears later..me? Still running.

He hits the ab machines..and then back to the cable station. I'm still sweating..running.

I soon finish my run, and hit the scale...still the same god-damn weight. As I get some paper towels to wipe my sweating brow, I see the guy...he's walking toward the back again and our eyes meet.

"James?" I say.
"Hey" he says...

I recognize this incredibly hot guy..he's the son of a friend of my wife and I. Last I saw him..he was probably 15.

"What's going on?" I say.
"Not much" he says.

Now, I didn't expect a whole conversation..and I wasn't looking to pick him up..or hit on him or anything. He's waaay to young...and knowing his parents and all..that's a gross thought for sure. The kid is probably 17 now and as such, he has the conversation skills of a typical 17 year old when talking to the enemy (parents).

"How's school?" I ask.
"Pretty good" he says.

17 years old..he's probably fucking every girl (or any girl he wants to) in high school. I know his Dad..and Mom..his father would encourage it and his Mom? She would be appalled. This kid is that good-looking. Probably very, very popular...probably even more popular with the girls...probably everything most of us used to hate in high school. The looks, the personality, the girls, the popular, hottest guy in school.


"Damn, you're big!" I say, making a nod to his exposed arms (seriously, I wasn't drooling when I said it)!

With that, he turned..may have said something but I seriously doubt he said anything - and simply walked away...utter rudeness.

Yup..just like the guys I hated in high school..the one's that I had secret fantasies about.

But, this one, like those..will get away.

Hump Day: Jonathan

Jonathan is a 26-year-old Canadian model from Toronto, Canada.

Men of the Week

President Barack Obama's blockbuster announcement that he is in favor of full marriage equality is the most courageous thing he has done since he entered the White House three and a half years ago.

Coming after his successful strategy to get Congress to repeal don't ask, don't tell so that gays and lesbians can serve openly in the military and the decision of his Justice Department to stop defending the Defense of Marriage Act in federal courts, he has now done nearly as much for gay people as Lyndon Johnson did for African-Americans with the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965. (CNN 5/9/2012)

Bully of the week:

One day after gay rights moved to the center of the presidential race with Obama’s announcement on same-sex marriage, a Washington Post report about Romney’s high school escapades nearly 50 years ago added a personal dimension to Democrats’ claim that he’s out of step on the sensitive topic.

The newspaper reported that in one case, Romney and several schoolmates held down classmate John Lauber and cut off his bleached blond hair after seeking him out in his dorm room at their boarding school in the wealthy Detroit suburb of Bloomfield Hills, Mich. The Post said Lauber was “perpetually teased for his nonconformity and presumed homosexuality” and that he screamed for help as Romney held him down. The paper recounted another incident in which Romney shouted “atta girl” to a different student at the all-boys’ school who, years later, came out as gay.

“I participated in a lot of hijinks and pranks during high school and some may have gone too far. And for that I apologize,” Romney told Fox News’ Brian Kilmeade during a hastily arranged radio interview. Romney said he didn’t remember the Lauber incident from long ago, but didn’t dispute that it happened. He stressed that he didn’t know either student was gay. (Washington Post 5/10/2012)

Soft White Underbelly

Please vote for this blog!  A 5 is best! Vote here.  
************

Rodney Dangerfield was famous for saying "I get no respect", but I could obviously say that too.

My readers..mostly dedicated readers, I assume, come back, day after day, read this blog, comment...yet, they don't get it...and I still don't get any respect from most.

Not that I'm demanding respect..but, you'd think, after all this time, that some of you out there would understand. I've chatted or emailed with some of my detractors, and they've said things like:  "Wow, you are a nice guy" or "I'm surprised..I always thought you were a dick, but...."  I'm not looking to make friends here. My purpose was and I guess to this day, is to have a place to vent. To have a little anonymous corner of the world to say what I want, to do what I want and express my convoluted, disorganized, and fucked up feelings. It's not to have you love me, it's not to have you have a drink with me. It's purely selfish: I want to put my feelings down on paper.

But, the blog has evolved, of course. It's become a place where others can express themselves too. It's become a venue where people can comment and criticize..and hopefully constructively, we can all learn. But, of course, there are those readers..not just readers of my blog, but every blog who only know how to respond with hate (even Frat Star has received such hate mail). We all know who these commenters are: anonymous socially inept cowards who are house bound serial loners who are angry at the world and take it out on people who have more normal lives than them.

If I come here and write about what a wonderful weekend I had picking daises in a field with my wife - you guys would click that big red "X" in the upper right hand corner to jump out of here and get to the next salacious blog all you sex fiends follow. It's not interesting. "Oh, we had a lovely meal at a neighborhood restaurant together. We danced at an affair, we drank and laughed." Booooorrrring.

And who does that help? Me? No. To put down on paper (or screen) all the happy thoughts of my marriage is not something that is interesting to read and it doesn't expose the issues and thoughts that people confront everyday. Hey, nobody reads Dear Abby (or whoever is writing that column these days) or watching Dr. Drew because they want to hear about a happy day someone had, or someone who's completely sober who hasn't had a drink in years. That doesn't necessarily bring ratings or viewers - and it's Booooorrrrring!
So, don't expect me to write about the bottle of wine I shared with my wife this weekend, or how we went shopping for gifts for the kids together, or went to the mall to pick out new towels together.  Do those things happen? Absolutely. Despite what some of you think, I'm not a wife batterer. She's not locked in a closet right now..she isn't shackled in the kitchen cooking and cleaning all day. She's got a damn fine life. She's got many friends. She's smart. And if she wasn't happy? She'd have left long ago..so I must be doing something right.

There is a soft side to me..maybe one that doesn't come across to some because my blog doesn't reflect hum-drum daily life occurrences. I cry at award ceremonies for my kids..I listen to music (sometimes during exercise classes) and it reminds me of my wife and I well-up.  I've thrown the surprise parties, bought the gifts, spend family time and vacations, just like any married man does.  But, I'm a man after all...and get the typical "you're not romantic anymore" statements from my wife that I'm sure other men have received. Some here have encouraged me to speak about my wife - but, whenever I do, I get lambasted. There's no middle ground..I can get no respect.

I think, just like any married man, or any man in general, we're often confused about the opposite sex. Their mentality, their habits, the priorities they have. It's what causes fights..in my marriage and others. It's why they often say "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars". We're different creatures.

If I come here complaining about her cooking, or her spending...it's because maybe it was an argument we had that week. Or maybe it's something that ticked me off. Yes, this is an unfair forum - she doesn't have the ability to respond to the comments I've made here - that would be interesting (having her respond on the blog) but it also ain't happening.  I've tried to recruit a woman writer for this blog - and that search continues..because I think it would create a great dynamic on here..like adding Frat Star has done.  But that woman will never be my wife. Sorry!

But, that's what this blog is - my views - it's not a democracy.  It's not a forum where two people fight out their differences for all to see like a real-time marriage counseling session.  

Bi Like Me is what it is - love it, hate it..or indifferent.

Helping Hand

After a long time, my regular massage guy became available again. I booked some time and headed on my way.

This guys hot..nice body, shorter, and is really good at the professional massage - but always, way too professional about it.  He knows I'd be into more and he always rebuffs my advances (how dare he!).

I get there, get undressed and lay on his table. He grabs some lotion and begins my rub down, beginning with my back, then ass, legs, etc. Then I flip over, and he works the front of my legs, then my feet. All the while, little BLM is laying there..unaroused. I'm like thinking "wake up - get a little chubby or something!"  Anyway, he moves around to my side, grabs some lotion and grabs my junk, which immediately sprang to life. I reach under his shorts to feel his ass, then under his shirt..I attempt to unbuckle his pants, and he pushed me away.  "Awww" I tell him and I return to his supple, smooth ass.

Eventually, he's stroking me real good and I blow gobs of cum all over..and his hand is covered in cum and well as my pubes.

"Damn" he says "you've been saving that up for three weeks or something?"

Thanks for the hand, I'm thinking.

Hump Day: Ammar

Ammar Alfian Aziz, 22 from Malaysia

East Target

Hey guys - if you're the one guy that likes me and this blog please vote! If you hate me and this blog but love to read it..please vote (those votes should  be overwhelming).   A 5 is best! Vote here. 
***

I know..I deserve it..well, maybe partially.

It's easy to criticize me..when I say my wife needs to lose weight I get "well, you're fucking guys!" When I say she spends too much money, or is stealing money behind my back, I get "I deserve it for what I'm doing to her." You guys know the secret...you know what I'm doing behind her back, in private. But, my complaints are not unusual...

Lots of married guys talk about how their wives have little interest in sex. That they lack the passion or desire that they had when they were dating. How their wives don't blow them. If you're married..I'm sure you've heard the jokes. So, my complaints aren't out of the ordinary.

Most of my friends and I talk about some of the money issues that we have. Like I said yesterday, most of my friends have secret second personal bank accounts because they are sick of inequality of having to share their entire income with their spouses, while anything the wives earn if off limits. One such friend has even squirreled away money in anticipation of a possible divorce. Hmm..I guess I'm not that much different, complaining about my wives financial dealings.

If you look at the over 40 crowd of friends I have, all their wives, except maybe one, is out of shape, with some being borderline obese. The guys? Almost all of them work out and most are pretty careful about what they eat. The girls? I think they're complaining about how hard it is for women to lose weight..but, I can't hear them because their mouths are full of their second helping of ice cream. Pass the Diet Coke please?

Yes, I can almost guarantee that I'm the only husband of the crowd that has had a dick in his mouth - but I seriously doubt I am the only one who's strayed on their wives. And again, I don't think the percentages are much different in any marriage.

I'm really no different than most guys - most married guys at least. They all have the same complaints, lack of sex, money issues, and women who are out of shape. I know there are those marriages that are simply Alice in Wonderland perfect..but..Camon! I must have lots of married readers..let's hear from you! I have to get some support here.

Really...honestly? You want to know the truth? My marriage is damn near perfect. My wife is amazing...she's an incredible mother, a great friend. My family loves her. She's dedicated,  not only to our family, but more importantly, my kids. I couldn't have chosen a better partner. Are there issues? Absolutely..just like any marriage. Sex? Sucks - yes, it's partially my fault..but, it really began with her losing interest. When that happened, it pushed me more towards guys..maybe where I'd end up eventually anyway without the push. Money? They don't call it the root of all evil for nothing. But, my wife spends less and is a better bargain shopper than anyone I know. But, that doesn't mean that there's isn't an inherent difference between what a man deems as necessities and what a women deems as necessities.

Despite what you may think, I'm not spending hundreds of dollars on motel rooms, masseurs and escorts. I spend less on personal items than what most spend on lunch for a week.


The only difference is that you know the background. You know I'm cheating on my wife - with other men. You know that I haven't been faithful to my family. You're all disgusted by my actions..I deserve the harshest of criticisms. But, I still am entitled to talk about the same issues that plague marriages, no? I'm still entitled to be pissed about my wife's health, lack of interest in sex or money problems, aren't I - or am I not entitled to my opinion just because I've violated my marriage vows? Does that apply to my political thoughts too? "Ecch, that BLM, he can't be "pro-choice" if he's cheating on his wife." I guess I shouldn't plan on voting in the upcoming election..after all I'm not entitled to my opinion since I'm a lousy husband.

I disagree. I'm entitled to my views despite what I'm doing. They're the things that go on in every marriage..they're the important issues that all married couples struggle and deal with. When I write about them here, I'm trying to share that aspect of my marriage with you..and I'm sure I'm not alone.

I'm just like all married guys.
Except I love cock too.

Bernie Dance

Somehow my wife always has plenty of money. You know..those new pair of shoes she bought with "her money". The new belt that she was dying to have that "she" was able to buy.  The sale that she just couldn't pass up - and she had to buy something and used "her funds". Hers? Seriously?

She does have her money..money that we've agreed (reluctantly) that she will keep as her own for those things that only women seem to require. But, it's not nails, hair, makeup requirements..those apparently are not defined as the "requirement" under the Webster Women's Dictionary. No..those are necessities..and apparently, you don't seem to understand the intricacies of the word "requirement."  Somehow, that money..that small stash she has selfishly kept for herself..must be invested with some very knowledgeable people because it seems to grow incredibly!

But, I know..and now you'll know that the money doesn't really grow...it's not really invested with some brainiac of an investor. She makes it grow..by adding the money she she gets when she goes to the food store and adds fifty or so on the ATM debit as a cash advance. Or when she buys the kids sneakers and adds a $20 spot here or there. That's apparently how she earns her money.

You see..all the money I earn goes in one bank account: our account. It pays for everything..food, shelter, the credit card bills, household expenses. It has become "our money." I don't know that it's fair or not...but, I guess..her money..the money she gets from her part-time job, also goes into an account which we have designated for a special purpose. Just like my money..it should go in there every week.

I know my friends have opened up separate accounts of some sort. Some have done it without their wives approval or knowledge.  That's not how I wanted to do things..never has been the way we do things. But, he who makes the most money should have the control, no? I mean, I feel like I should be the one who says, "no that's too expensive" or "no, we can't buy that now" or "we've got to cut down on this or that."  If it was up to my wife, we'd go out for dinner every weekend. But, someone has to be sane..someone has to be level headed. Someone..the guy making the money..should be the one who says "yes" or "no".

One day, I noticed a few missing weeks in her deposits. What the fuck? I was....to put it lightly..I- FUCKING-RATE! (irate) - and she heard it loud and clear. I felt betrayed...felt cheated. I mean, I'm putting my money into our account. She should have been doing the same. But apparently, she stole (yes, I used that word) that money from me, from our family..for what? Shoes? A belt? Another piece-of-shit bracelet? I think it's the most angry I had ever been at her..in all our years of marriage.

Then, I noticed the ATM thing..the bills being more by the cash advances. That's how she buys things with "her money".

It's a fucking Ponzi Scheme of the highest order.