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Weight of the World
I don't know what did it. I have tried to lay some "subtle" hints. My wife apparently knows how I feel about her current appearance. I don't think she works out enough, I think she's gained quite a few pounds over the past 3 years..even though I haven't said anything directly..she knows."I'm on a diet" she says.
"Really? I didn't know that." I say.
"Well, I am so encourage me!" she says.
"You go girl!" I exclaim. "I want to be on the same diet! What are you eating for dinner?"
Maybe it just takes time for some people. Maybe, it was a friend, a relative that said something. Maybe it was he own clothes, seeing that they no longer fit the way they should. I guess they say you have to hit rock bottom in order to change..maybe she's hit it. Hopefully, she will lose some weight, feel good about herself..I want that for her. I want it for me too. I want to be able to encourage her..to say "Jesus! You look like you lost XX!"
It would be better than the knowing look I give her when she eats something she shouldn't..or when she isn't at the gym.
After all, it has to be something she does for herself.
5 comments:
For me, the issue here isn't specifically in what you are saying but rather, in the extreme territory, which it seeps into. The key is honesty. The ability to be with someone you love, regardless of sex or sexuality and therefore, to be able to say what you think and tell it how it is. I believe and this is just my opinion, lovers and partners should be able to speak honestly with each other and not necessarily expect silk-lined, powder-puffed alterations to the truth.
Even outside of relationships people in this world are so afraid of the truth that they lie about the smallest things. As an example, look at the guys you constantly hook up with and the difference in the profile to the reality. Try emailing people you don't know and eventually you discover they lie at the drop of a hat as opposed to admitting the truth. It's all about self-protection or deceptive manipulation.
On your part, however, I wonder if there is not a reason for why these changes have taken place in your wife over the last three years. Could it be that she feels not everything is right in her relationship but she has to deal with the fact that she is committed to her family and so psychologically, she stays the course while feeling inadequate and therefore has let herself go. Perhaps if she had a partner who wanted to be with her and wasn't hanging around for the sake of the kids, she might be more inclined to try to entice him and therefore want to look her best. Just a thought.
The gym may not be the plce for her to start. I love the gym, my partner not so much. One weekend I asked if he wanted to go for a walk and look at the gardens in front of our neighbors houses...bingo! Now, he's up to jogging or walking 3 times a week for 30 min.. One step at a time...together.
BlkJack
Glad to see this positive step, and that it was her idea. I hope you seriously will do everything you can to encourage her. BlkJack's strategy of the neighborhood walk would be a good start. For one thing, when one is outside walking the neighborhood, whether briskly or not, one is not eating.
All exercise burns calories, but the most important exercise of all is pushing off from where the food is. Possibly the next best one is lifting a glass of water. People who train themselves to take a drink of water rather than a bit of food when they feel hungry usually succeed in losing some pounds even if they change nothing else. Often the water takes away the urge to eat.
Diet is 80%, exercise is 20%. It is hard with kids in the house. Plenty of fruit and veggies. Cut fat and cut carbs. Start with the walks. No soda pop, and cut the booze too. Yes do it with her.
"You go girl?" If she didn't know you were gay before, she sure does now.
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