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Frat Star Fridays! Peace Guys!
Off into the sunset...
I want to say that I've really enjoyed writing for BLM and that he's given me a ton of space (and editorial freedom) to do what I like. However, I'm about to start a job with really long hours and I'll no longer be able to be a contributing writer here. For some of the young people that read my column, a few words of parting advice:
1. Don't chase a relationship. A lot of you write to me asking about relationships, and I usually give the same answer: I'll let you know when I figure this out. I recently met someone really nice -- another reason why I have so little time presently -- but he just got out of a year and a half relationship. Sometimes these things work and sometimes these things falter. Remember that 99% of relationships or people that you chase won't work out, because there's one dude out there that you haven't met yet. Who knows where you'll be in a year from now.
2. Don't be afraid to date around. I think that this is different from being slutty. Recently I've been going on tons and tons of dates with lots of different people. Often, it'll just end up in drinks and a little kissing, but sometimes there's a special dude that you'll want to take home. Be easy and casual, but also don't be afraid to explain what you want. Sometimes that really awesome guy is just around the corner but you haven't even given him a chance yet.
3. Come out of the closet. This is probably one of my biggest, yet frank, compulsions for leaving. I strongly encourage young people to come out of the closet because we won't bite. Not all gay people are promiscuous, terrible monsters who are commitment-phobic and evil. They certainly exist, but there are also wonderful, nice people that want to get married and begin churning out kids by the dozen in strong, loving, monogamous relationships. In order to even get to this step you're going to have to come out. It will be shitty at first, and you will get inappropriately drunk at times. However, it's totally worthwhile. Just do it.
6 comments:
Are you going to continue writing for A Bi Kid's Life or are you done blogging for good?
Thanks Frat Star for the younger point of view. Good Luck.
FS: You got your priorities right, now it should be on your new job and nurturing the budding relationship you have going.
We are going to miss your perspective. You have come so far, so quickly since you decided to fully accept and embrace your true sexual identity. It has been a struggle at times as you navigate this new world but you have kept an open mind and continue to learn and grow. Good luck on your journey and keep us updated on ABKL. -- FoC
FS -- The rub is in your comment that "there are also wonderful, nice [gay] people that want to get married and begin churning out kids by the dozen in strong, loving, monogamous relationships."
Yes, I agree that there are lots of wonderful gay men, and many there may be who want to marry other men and "churn out kids" by the twos and threes if not dozens. However, biology gets in the way of this vision. Even test-tube babies need a womb in order to grow to viability; something no man, gay or not, comes equipped with. If you want your genes to survive you, for all practical purposes you need to cultivate the hetero half of your bisexuality. Marry a woman and churn out all the kids you can.
@ Jay:
There are plenty of ways to get around that. You seem to be confusing the mechanics of reproduction with the social values placed on it, as well as the social structure that exists for raising children.
They aren't the same thing at all.
see you around.
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