Frat Star Fridays! I'm Going to Talk About Women

My name is Frat Star, and this is my personal column at BiLikeMe. You can find my other blog here. If you'd like to drop me a line, you can reach me at wsa215@gmail.com

Women play a very prominent role in my life, far more than the gay stereotype would suggest. I don't have a lot of female friends in general, but I've always had powerful female role models.

I come from a family of strong women, and that prototype is still sexy to me. To some extent, I wish I was straight just so that I could fall in love with one of these women and learn to grow with them. I understand them. I like them. I just can't have sex with them anymore, because I've found that I connect with men far more. It kills me to look at a girl when she's lined up perfectly after a great evening and not feel chemistry with her.

There are some things about dating girls that I'll miss a lot. My first girlfriend was a transfer student from the South who came into my life in my senior year of high school. She was by far one of the sexiest girls I've ever met, and when she walked down a hallway it was if the world sparkled. When I was holding her hand, I didn't feel like a child and when she cuddled with me on the couch I forgot about some of my toughest problems. Her touch lowered my blood pressure... or raised it after we started having sex. The story of how we met is probably my favorite story to tell about women, although I can't reveal it here since it's so personal -- anyone who read it would obviously know who I was.

Without getting into too much detail, she came from a somewhat dysfunctional home. Her mother had passed away a few years prior and, although she was her father's little girl, her stepmother was an epic bitch. Despite having tried to send her away to boarding school, she always spoke respectfully of her entire family even when I didn't. After having dated her for two months, she became a fixture in my house: we studied on the dining room table together, watched movies with my father and she slowly charmed him into allowing her to stay over on weekends. When we made love -- I don't think we "fucked" once -- it was deep and passionate.

I think that this girl really created, in a bizarre way, the prototype of who I want do date today. I'd like to find someone nice and kind... of course that's what everyone wants. But I'd also like for someone that I date to understand me on a deeper level.

Easier said than done.