Frat Star Fridays! Bro Dating II

In this case, quite literally. It's also surprisingly hard to find a picture of a bull literally shitting on the internet.

My friend walks into my dorm room. My door's propped open and my bed isn't made. Lacrosse gear and swim trunks litter my floor. I'm unshaven, sitting at my desk in only a flatbrim, a fleece and some sweatpants.

"You seem down." He looks around. "What the fuck happened here?"

I'm pretty silent. "Uh... I kind of got played by Charlie. I don't get it. He kept taking me to church, and I thought it was to chill since we both go all the time, but then I analyzed the situation and I realized that he was basically taking me there in order to indicate that he's totally not interested. There's literally nothing less erotic than fifty year old Episcopalian priests."

"Oh." Awkward pause. "Well, that's shitty. Stop being a bitch." We laugh. "Hey, I know something that describes your situation pretty well. Did you do this week's reading for [my professor's last name]'s class?"

"No." He looks at me like I'm an idiot. "Fuck you."

"Read the first page." He picks up the book off the floor and throws it at me. I check out the bulge in his mesh shorts. I really have to stop doing that.

"One of the salient features of our culture is that there is so much bullshit. Everyone knows this." I say aloud. "Ha. This... this I like."

I need this t-shirt so badly it's not even funny.

Life can sometimes seem pretty bad.

I'd been seeing this guy for about three weeks. He was attractive and intelligent from the college down the road from mine and we clicked really well. Unfortunately, things didn't go so well this week when he became to behave oddly. There was a sudden distance, and an emotional feeling as if a great desert suddenly erupted out of a pure lake.

"I can't believe I let this go down," I kept saying to myself. This dude just bailed? I mean, we'd only made out and gone on a couple dates. I have this nifty "first-three-dates-nothing-under-the-belt" rule that I enacted to make sure that we got to know each other and slowed down. For some bizarre reason, young gay love burns very fast, and guys aren't hesitant to look elsewhere if there isn't an instant match. His demise was unfortunate for me, and I pouted. Halfway through, I realized that I was being silly and decided to move on.

Lesson learned.

There's something bizarre that happens with gay relationships that I feel doesn't happen in straight relationships -- having been in boy-girl relationships several myself, I feel that homosexuals kind of fling themselves at each other in a way that heterosexuals do not. There's a lot of "movie" sex, whereby you chill with your partner as if you guys were just star-crossed lovers. I think that there's also a lot of dreams and hope built into sexual interactions that don't necessarily  get expressed, especially if you're masculine. In my normal, everyday life I'm kind of a cocky chiller guy. When I get in bed, it's a different story. I like to cuddle a lot and I'm huge on body contact. I do somewhat open myself to what I like to call bruising, or the lowering of emotional defenses and the inadvertent introduction of emotional harm. As my guy lays his head on my chest while we watch television, I feel fucking invincible. "There can't be anything wrong with this? Right?" I think to myself.

Man is the most dangerous game. Just ask this guy in the hunting cap that's sending this photo to his fuck buddy.

Yet once that guy leaves, there's a subtle game that goes on that drives me absolutely insane. Girls have sex with you and instantly want to enter into a relationship. Their game is merely getting past a minefield where you're tested, and then subsequently rewarded. I feel like girls are therefore easy in comparison, because the game really doesn't ever end with guys -- there's always one partner that seems to be calling the shots and there's a subtle power struggle that goes on between the two dudes. In other words, there's so much fucking bullshit flying around that you sometimes want to scream.

I also find it hard to actually meet other dudes.

I'm really not into the LGBT scene, nor do I like gay bars. There's something bizarre about them: it's as if they're trying too hard. It's really weird to walk into a room with no women present and on top of that there's no safety valve. You can't really walk up to someone you like, find out he's weird and then politely excuse yourself. I also find it very disconcerting to get groped: "Don't touch me, bro." Guys feel as if they can just grab you in bars and clubs, and I need a certain level of personal space in order to get comfortable.

Sometimes, I meet women in their older 20s who are perfectly fine people but are totally single. There's something that they're missing: there's a level of confidence that they don't have and that's why they're alone. Conversely, I also meet women who refuse to go out to certain places to meet men: they prefer to be demure and wait for a challenger to appear. I feel that I need to find some place to meet men that still allows me to be in my comfort zone so that I never fall into either of these categories. I suppose that because I've always had immensely strong women in my family that I'm a feminist -- neither my mother nor the other women in my family would ever fall into the above two categories -- and as gay men we surprisingly share an immense amount of similar anxieties with women. "Is my partner going to cheat on me? Am I getting fat? Is my dick (breasts) big enough? Will I ever find someone? I hope that I don't end up alone living with cats when I'm 40." are all common concerns that we face together as a group.

A lot of young men, when just emerging out of the closet, are very depressed people. I think I've had an extraordinarily easy time at coming out of the closet and for that I am extremely fortunate. I feel that a significant amount of gay kids basically have to make the choice between having a family and having a soul, and that's a very difficult choice to make. Yet coming out relieves certain pressures while introducing others: now you have to actually find someone... and not on craigslist. If you're a longterm reader of mine, you'll know my antipathy for the internet in general: I loathe craigslist, grindr and manhunt because I think they're a life detracting force within the gay community. You can't live your life on the internet, and moreover it just doesn't foster healthy relationships

But, really, life isn't so bad. I'm attractive, healthy and I'm going to get this down eventually.

Yo young readers: any suggestions on where to meet dudes? No gay sports leagues. Sorry, I'm already packed with sports as it is.

*          *          *

I want to take a moment to introduce you all to Cazwell, who makes pretty decent music. His new song, Get My Money Back, is a banger and I actually give it some play on my chapter's dance floor.

People also like this song, I find it supremely agitating, but I think you'll all like it if you watch the video with the sound on or off:

And finally, all complaints, comments and the rare compliment can be sent to wsa215@gmail.com.