Frat Star Fridays! Beyond College

Hey, my name's Frat Star and I write a weekly column here for BiLikeMe. Want to know a little bit more about me?

• My personality is so magnetic, that I am unable to carry credit cards
• Even my enemies list me as their emergency contacts
• When I was six I created a city made of blocks. Now, over 600,000 people live and work there.

You can send comments, questions and the invariable complaints to wsa215@gmail.com

Hell yeah, sexy dudes in suits!

Edit: Just realized how cliche it is for a gay dude to want to move to San Francisco


In May, I'll finally get my long awaited undergraduate diploma and I am so fucking psyched. Now, however, I have the unenviable task of finding out what I want to do after school. I've always really enjoyed working -- far more than I've ever enjoyed school to be frank -- but it's a tough job market. A lot of kids that I know at my school who are a fuckload smarter than me have so far come up with almost nothing, and I never stop being surprised at how shit it's out there. I'm getting nervous about my future.


I think part of this is due to the fact that the path that I've chosen in order to find someone is awfully difficult. I don't really want to go to a gay club, because as I've mentioned before I just feel that it's not my thing. I actually got in touch with the LGBT group on campus last week, and I was horrified to find out that their primary activity consists of knitting several times a week. Knitting? Seriously bro, knitting is the number most lame thing on the planet and I'd rather cut my dick off than dabble in that. Like, I don't even understand how the fuck knitting is supposed to bring people together and isn't that supposed to be the goal of one of these groups? Anyway, it's something that always lingers in the back of my mind.

However, I am distinctly terrified of Justin Bieber

I think that everyone has a group of central fears. A lot of people say that they're scared of aging or dying... I don't really find that intimidating. There's something very distinguished that comes with age, and for whatever reason I've seen a load of my own family members pass with incredible dignity. Nor am I afraid of stupid things like snakes. It's a fucking snake. If it comes near you, run the fuck away or kill it. Game over. Fucking snakes. However, what I suppose I am afraid of is being alone. I actually loathe being alone in general, which I suppose is why I take great pains to be very active on campus.


I was reading an article about being older and single the other day in the Washington Post that was forwarded to me by a friend. I had never considered this possibility before, and it's quite daunting. I'm sure this is a complete overreaction: there's no logical reason why I shouldn't end up with someone and I feel that I'm illogically freaking out. Do you ever have that sensation? You kind of go nuts over something that, really, is completely unnecessary to freak out about and you even realize that? I hate that.

Tangential (but makes sense, read below): Chaaaaarrrlllliiiiieeeee

For example, take my latest fling: a nice guy who lived at the college down the road from mine. I thought he was really legit. I met this kid through this one girl who's a friend of mine. I asked her to help hook me up and she told me about this kid, Charlie. I initially thought he was effeminate, so I wasn't too thrilled, but once I was basically told that he was just a well-dressed European I decided to give it a shot. I also have a rule: go on every date that's offered to you because you never know what'll happen. He didn't text me for about three weeks after she gave him my information, but I wasn't too bummed because I wasn't that interested for all the reasons I mentioned. During break, he texted me asking to get together but as I was home I couldn't make it and, during the one week I was back, he was with his little brother in California on vacation. We finally made plans to meet up the following week, but then both of us were simultaneously crushed with schoolwork. On the appointed day, he flaked on me for lunch so I was moderately pissed but he texted me in the evening apologizing asking me if we could still meet up. I told him yes. He did text me back apologizing again because he lost his wallet and he asked me if I could cover him. "Great," I thought, "now he's a deadbeat and flaky."


I cleaned up my whole apartment, making sure that everything was in place before he came through because I knew he was a little bit of a clean freak and I figured I should give this a shot. After he finished dinner with his fraternity brothers nearby, he walked over and I decided to go get some little cookies and shit like that for us to eat so that we didn't just have only beer. As I'm walking back from the grocery store across the street from my dorm, I see this really hot guy on the street and I kind of walk closer to him to check out his banging ass. As I get closer, I realize: "Oh, holy shit, it's Charlie!"
I walked behind him and the only thing I could think is, "Fuck, this guy is so cute." I caught him downstairs as he accidentally passed the entrance to my dorm -- it's set in a courtyard so it's kind of hard to see -- and as we went upstairs I was quite nervous. He sits on the couch across from me and I must have looked really anxious because I really wanted this guy to like me. We're chatting and whenever there's silence and I don't quite know what to talk about, he pipes up and kind of saves me from tripping on my own words so I was very happy about that. Since he doesn't have his wallet, and therefore doesn't have his ID, I tell him that we should go to this bar called that I know we can sneak into. There's this 87 year old waitress that's totally enamored with me because I make a point out of saying hello to her every time I see her -- I loathe it when people aren't nice to their elders -- so we got a table the moment we walked in and she brought us beer on the house without carding us. By that time, it was kind of obvious that we were on a gay date by the way we were looking at each other so things worked out very well and I thought it was very cool that she was a part of it!
Anyway, we head back to my place because we want to watch a movie and I sit down on the couch across from him. As we're selecting, I decide to watch my favorite movie (The Thomas Crown Affair) and I decide to just make a leap of faith and sit next to him. Long story short, we didn't see much of the movie because I straddled him about 20 minutes into it and then I took his hand and led him into my bedroom. It was all really civilized and innocent, just kissing, because I told him that I have a "no hands below the belt" rule for the first three dates. He was actually really relieved that I didn't expect sex, because he's also super discriminate about his body. We made out and then I walked him to the parking lot.

The next day, I went over to his fraternity and I met a lot of his brothers in the TV room. It was really cold but he knows that I like long walks, so we went out to the river and made out on this pier. After we went back and I noticed that this one kid shot me a dirty fucking look. We went back up to his room to watch a movie, Colombiana, on his bed and I asked him if he had openly gay brothers in his house. He replied that he was the only one and asked me why. I told him that it was all too obvious that the kid was gay. Charlie got so cute and nervous and upset because it was so obvious that the kid had a crush on him... but he was into me (haha, fuck you bro). We made out and then the next day we went to church together and then we went and had brunch but then things came to an abrupt halt.


He had to leave for a Christian conference (whatsup with Catholic gay bros and these conferences?) and then afterwards he started making weird noises.
I rang him. "Hey, what are you up to today?"


"Oh, well, sorry man but my fraternity's having cleaning day today. You know, everyone comes in and does as many projects as they possibly can?" He spoke excitedly, as if cleaning day was Christmas.
"Isn't that what pledges are for?"
"We don't have any yet."

What do you mean by "we have no pledges?"

Long story short, I eventually realized that going to church with him was a nice way of suggesting that we should be friends. God, kids in New England are so strange... whatever, his loss. I just can't get dejected, because I've been openly gay for all of like two minutes so... I guess I've actually done pretty well so far.
I've decided therefore to start changing shit up a little bit. I'm slowly perusing jobs on the West Coast, specifically somewhere in the Bay Area because I never really liked Los Angeles. I'm weird, I know. Just never connected with LA for some reason. I think it's because they don't have seasons, just warm and warmer. There's also a lack of substance in Los Angeles that's always made me feel so fake, even as a tourist, and I just can't connect with the people out there. I have two buddies that I know of living out there right now who love it, but I kind of enjoy not driving absolutely everywhere right now so... naaaaaa
Either way, we'll see how things end up. I'm sure I'll land on my feet, like always.

Finally, I get a shitload of spam, but thanks for the love everyone!