Posts
Blank Birthday
Yea, it came again, as it often does...a little too soon, a little too quickly. Yes, my birthday..and I think, well, we all know I have issues anyway.I think part of it stems from when I was young. My parents didn't have a whole lot of money. Birthdays were always a disappointment, unfortunately. I got used to the bad gifts, or hand me downs that were re-gifted to be my birthday present. Now, I understand that my parents were doing what they could, but back then, growing up, I thought my parents were just cheap.
Now, I've come to almost dread my birthday. Not only does getting older not sit well with me, but, the whole "happy" part really gets to me. I tell my family absolutely "no gifts". Part of that is because I have everything I could ever want, and getting one more shirt, tie, or sweater is just not what I want. I tell my kids, just spend time with me, give me a hug and a happy birthday, and that's the best gift I could ask for.
Then comes the whole day: the morning smiles from my wife, the calls of excitement from friends and family. "How's it feel to be older?" "It sucks" I respond. Damn right it does.
The night before my birthday, my wife made a dinner for family that happened to be visiting that weekend. Although it wasn't intentionally planned as a celebration, I asked that my wife not make a big deal about my birthday anyway, which squashed the singing of happy birthday when the candle-less cake came out. My Mom asked me the next morning why I was so upset.
"It's just that I can't stand the Howdy-Doody happiness that's inevitable for my birthday. I don't need anything, I don't want anything. The family being here was fine, but it shouldn't have to be and didn't have to be about me. I don't need the whole everything today is about celebrating your birthday things that happen: "here's your good morning special breakfast on your birthday" and "let me open that door for you on your birthday" happiness and can I get a fork? "of course you can it's your birthday" inane stupidity. I know a birthday is supposed to be a monumental occasion - one to be celebrated. I just don't know how to get the happy back in it.
14 comments:
Whew.... Grumpy!
Sounds like he's entered his midlife crisis.
I'm with you man. I'm a Grinch whether it's birthday or Christmas time.
But let's face it, if you put half as much effort in to trying to enjoy it as you do trying to avoid it, you and everyone around would would be in less pain.
Well, I am going to say it, Happy Birthday!! You are worried about YOU. If you would try putting others first you just might enjoy yourself!! Your friends and family were making it your day, not theirs!! Call the SHRINK Aunt Bee!!
You don't realize how fortunate you are: some folks have no one to make a fuss over them on any day. Instead of always bemoaning your fate, look at what you DO have. Once the kids are grown and your wife has outlived her usefulness to you, lets see who's around to mark your special occasions then. Enjoy it while you can
The good news is that your family does it because they love you. The better news is that even in your mid-40's knowing you are HOT.
Happy Birthday!
I have to agree with some of the others on this post. I too came from a family that gave either recycled on no gift for my birthday, but got so much more with hugs and kisses. Be happy that you made it to this point in your life because, one day that will all change. Imagine the unhappiness if your parents or someone close to you were not around to wish you a birthday greeting. I'm not sure why you have not considered seeking professional help if you're so unhappy!? Maybe it's time...
BlkJack
Is safe to say Happy b-day?
Look at it as an occasion to celebrate your having survived another year.
You only survived, but you managed to stay relatively healthy, you look good and your kids love you. Your wife seems to love you, too, even if she doesn't manage to express it in exactly all of the ways that you might like. Also Ross remains fond of you even if the clothes-ripping is a thing of the past. Last (and probably least), your blog readers, or at least most of us, love you in our own individual ways.
SO - while obviously you did your best to make the actual "day" less than optimal, we can still convey our best wishes for a very happy 47th YEAR (or whatever number it's going to be).
dude you have to be thankful your alive. you know how many dead people would want to change places with you? but i appreciate your candiness and you can't help the way you feel. be a little selfish and enjoy your day. its your day and yes people should spoil you. i celebrate my birthday for a week!!! I'm 41
Dude,
It's one of those times when you got to let them make over you. They want to do something to show they love you, they want you, and they need you. You apparently are a good provider, lots of people depend on you. Give them a little comfort to be able to do something for you for a change. The celebration is for them, not for you.
Dude.. I turned 46 last Autumn.. it's not that bad... Happy Birthday anyway!
Yeah, I agree with the commenters that you should just lay back and pretend you enjoy it, since the celebration is for them. And if you do that enough in your life, who knows, you might really start enjoying it and other blessings that come your way.
Yeah birthdays--I'm with you. I feel the same way about the celebration/acknowledgement part of them, especially about the gift giving part. I don't know why people feel compelled to give gifts after a certain point. But! I don't dread them either.
I like to go out for dinner or make some sort of weekend trip for birthdays. There's no accent on the birthday itself, just the event and what we're doing at the time. It suits me fine, I enjoy myself, and there's no canned happiness or unwanted gifts. Try to do that next time. You'll see, it works!
Post a Comment