Boo!

No..it's not my ghost!

Just figured I'd take a break from some drama on this Monday of Halloween. Yea, I know..you want to know more about the Scarlet Letter..there will be more.

Tomorrow!

Today is the day for spooks, goblins, witches and lighthearted fun!

So, if your trick or treating with your kids, or giving out the candy to those who visit, make it a fun day.

If your actually trick or treating..either you shouldn't be visiting this blog, or you should be carefully monitored by the local police!

American's Pastime

Yes, the season's over. My teams weren't in the playoffs, much less the World Series..but, I watched it nonetheless. I love baseball..and now, it's gone until the warmer weather.

Guys: please vote at best male blogs and plu (Links above!)

The Scarlett Letter, Part 2

So, by now hopefully, you've read the letter sent to me recently from the son of a man who apparently is bisexual. The son discovered the father's secret while searching on his computer and saw he was reading Bi Like Me. 


Some people doubt the letter. But, I don't really think the importance of the letter is the veracity of the story or its authenticity. It does, of course, bring up lots of issues for us who are hiding this secret..the possibilities of discovery and the relationships between fathers and their children and families.

Here is the response I had sent to the letter:

Dear XX:

I don't know what to say.  Initially I thought I'd love to put this letter on my blog but I can see how that may not work for you.  I also thought about my own family and kids and what would happen if they knew all about my blog and the "tawdry" "meaningless" sex I've had.

I hope that they are smart enough to realize that it isn't really about the sex ...it's about what's inside me..it's what is in my chromosomes...the sex is a connection that I can't avoid and an addiction to this connection that torments me at night.

I hope they can see past the sex that I write about in my blog and understand that it does hurt to be deceitful - that my love for them and our family isn't diminished by my personal dilemma.  Its a personal struggle that has gone on inside me for..forever. Their love is what keeps me from ending the struggle tragically...it keeps me sane..it's what I live for. The personal struggle is not against them..its also not because of them.

Of course, I'm sure there's anger, resentment and outright repulsion. But if your father is anything like me he isn't happy with the decisions he has made or the life he is leading. What he wants is your happiness and stability. What he has sacrificed for that stability is his own happiness.

I have spoken to other bi guys..guys who are unattached..not married. I've told them that the way I live my life is not the way I would suggest they live their lives.  They should decide who they want to love before getting married - that living a lie doesn't benefit anyone. But for me, I know what my true love is..and that's my kids..and their stable upbringing is paramount.

What to do about your father? I don't know..that would depend on how old you are..how old your siblings are.  He is attempting something (keeping the family together) that has value. But that now has to be weighed against the knowledge and change in relationship you now have. 

Just know one thing: he loves you

If you need anything..feel free to write.
 -BLM

Next week the writer's response..and more!

The Scarlet Letter

OK. I've talked about this letter I received. Here it is..and my responses. I think it's important to see how the son or daughter of a married, cheating man would view this...I'm sure it will bring up as many mixed emotions for you as it did for me.

Dear Sir

Please forgive this letter from a complete stranger, but I would like to thank you for the dedication, time and energy that you devote to your blog, and to share my story of another man, married and bi like you. I acted stupidly, but I was and am young and foolish. Please be more careful than this person and hide your secret until you and your family are ready.

I had always loved and admired my father, and accepted his praise with pride and his punishments without rancour, until the day that my curiosity got the better of me twice. I found a phone of his that I had never seen before, and was amazed when he snatched it from me and sent me to my room for the day. Left alone at home as a punishment, and angry at what I perceived to be his unfairness, I went through my father's study and computer in a fit of pique. Thus I became aware of the secret that he had hidden from us; he had elaborately set up ways and means of visiting men and having sex with them for many years. I was appalled and disgusted; consumed with shame and rage. I was unable even to look at him when my family returned and could not touch him without a grimace. When I calmed myself I wanted to make him suffer for his betrayal. Therefore, like a spy, I watched him carefully while shrinking away from any conversation or affection, and collected every detail of his journeys and online browsing to present as a punishment or blackmail tool. This went on for three weeks until, following links from his regular blog visits, I found Bi Like Me.

I hated you because of your premise; but then I thought that I could read your posts as a preparation for the inevitable showdown with my father, to see what justifications he might raise or how he might possibly excuse his vile behaviour. Over three days I read through your entire blog; and as I read I began to understand him a little. When I read about your love for your children I considered the carefully-constructed barriers and lies that my father had used to separate his family and affairs. While I had been repulsed by the precision and eventual ease with which he had avioded inquiry and returned home fresh from encounter after encounter, I realised that he had worked so hard to protect us, and that his balancing act might be a cause for love rather than loathing. Although I was as hurt by your descriptions of your wife as if they were his words about my mother, when I thought carefully I could see that my mother might also be to blame for his lack of sexual interest in her. I compared his and your desires to my own teenaged hungers and realised that I could probably not remain steadfast under such pressures.

Even if my father does not love his wife with the totality of his being, he has still kept our family together and I owe everything to him. I can even bring myself to admire him somewhat for his skill in maintaining this illusion for so long. I would like to thank you for opening my eyes to his side of the story, although you have replaced seething anger with confusion and the sadness I feel for him, you and my oblivious family. I am still hurt by the idea that he could feel love, as you did for Ross and Kevin. for someone other than the woman to whom he made a promise, but I suppose I should be glad that he can feel the arms of a lover around him, even if it is someone of his own gender.
I don't know what I should say to him, he seems concerned by my 'sullen withdrawl' and cannot know the reason why; I seem to have inherited his skill at hiding activities. I just feel glad that there is someone out there who can help people in his or my situation to examine their own lives. I will try my best to be a better son, since you have sacrificed so much for your children, and I will try to encourage my mother to become warmer and more pleasant.

I don't think that I will ever be able to condone either of you, but I hope that you and anyone else in your situation will be able to find happiness without hurting those who love you.

I apologise for taking up so much of your time, and look forward to your next post.

Yours sincerely,

XXXXX

Tomorrow..my response.

Hump Day: Thomas

Guys:
Do me a favor and vote with Best Male Blogs and PLU (Links above).  Tomorrow: The Scarlett Letter!  Believe me, you're going to want to check out this multiple day posting!
***
Thomas Isermann, born in 1992, in Hamburg, Germany.

Daddy Dearest

As I've said before, I hate that moniker. I don't feel like anyone's Daddy in bed, and it's not something I enjoy hearing. It's like saying "Give it to me you old man" when your fucking someone. It doesn't turn me on.

I listed a Craigslist ad recently. As it turns out, the ads I posted previously didn't get a whole lot of responses. I'm always way to specific I guess. Exactly what I'm looking for, type of guy, body type, ethnicity, what I like to do in bed..I think it's all too much. CL seems to actually love those guys that put ads for massages, and fuck and go type ads. The legitimate ads looking for relationships or something more than a fuck, get ghosted or deleted.  I get maybe one or two responses and usually from the same guys that I've turned down before.  I've also been "ghosted" on CL with those ads. Don't know why.  Anyway, I digress...

So, I place a more general ad. Looking for someone to make out, JO, oral, maybe a fuck. Give some basic stats and a pic. I get a nice group of responses and some really nice pics.

So, one guy, lives close by, can host and looks nice and normal. We make a plan for me to come there. I drive up and he opens the door. It's no disappointment..he's cute, even with the more than scruffy beard he's been growing. Nice eyes, nice hair, cute smile.

We head to the den and sit down on the couch. He asks if I'm single (we didn't get into that in our prior emails) and I show him my ring and I get an "Oh", but no problem. He asks if I'm dominant and I don't really know how to answer that question...

"Well, I'm not dominant, I'm a top..but I'm not aggressive, and don't get into another guy pushing me around either. I'm sensual..into making out..but, like to fuck a hot bottom too." I try to explain.

"Hmm" he says. "Are you into role-play?"
God, what's with this guy? "Not really" I respond.
"Oh, cause I have Daddy issues" he says with a smile.

After a while, we're groping at each other. Then, our shirts and pants come off. I'm playing with his chest and he's enjoying it. I'm rubbing his nipples and he's groaning..whispering..."Like that.."

We take off our pants and we're both hard. He turns around and puts my cock in his ass crack and asks...

"Does Daddy want to fuck my ass?"
Ugh.
"Mhm." I say..unconvincingly.

He gets a condom and some lube. He lays down on his couch. I get on top and put my cock in his ass. He approves..

"Daddy, fuck me" he whispers.

We fuck until he says he's going to cum and he does so on his chest. I pull out and he jerks me off onto his chest too.

We clean up, and say our goodbyes.

Daddy's going home. Daddy ain't coming back either.

Daddy knows best.

Skip Around the Room

 I stand corrected. Yes, apparently there are some cute Cardinals (besides the bird logo).  One of my readers suggested Albert Pujols..but he's not my type..but if you like the big beefy type..sure.

Another one of my readers suggested Skip Schumaker - the Cardinal second baseman/right fielder. Now playing off the bench in this World Series..Skip hasn't made any great impressions on the field..but..he does have his admirers.

Kiss and Tell

I'm totally into making out. Love kissing a guy, feeling his lips, his tongue, that little scruff on his face. It can really be a turn on if I'm totally into the guy. Sometimes, just by kissing a guy I can tell if I will be compatible with someone.

I was on Manhunt, and some kid (think he was 19 or 20 years old) emails me. Now, I try and stay away from such young guys...but after all...I can only try so hard.

We end up chatting on AIM. He has a place, he sends me some pics, looks pretty hot. Then we get into the "what into's". He's a bottom (good), loves to suck (nice), jo (cool), and get fucked (excellent). All safe, clean and drug free (Perfect).

"Do you like to make out?" I ask.
"Nah" he responds.
"Nah?" I ask.
 "No...I don't kiss anyone I don't know." he says.
"You mean, you'll allow me to put my cock in your ass but I can't kiss you?" I laugh.
"Yea, well, you're wearing a condom. There are too many diseases to catch when your kissing someone."
"Well, that sucks. I'm totally into kissing and making out." I respond.
"Ugh!" he says.

...and with that he disappears.

I guess he won't get my cock in his ass or tongue in his mouth. His loss.


I don't really get it. When I first started my experiment with guys..all I wanted to do was kiss them . How can you want to be with guys - be attracted to them - and not want that?

A Cardinal Sin

Finally!



I searched,high and low..it wasn't easy. I was trying to find a handsome St. Louis Cardinal player. They're all so....homey looking..not a hottie one in the bunch.

I mean, sure..Albert Pujols is a master at his craft..it's an understatement to even call him an amazing hitter he's so good. And great with the leather too (the glove guys)!

But a hottie? eh..handsome? nah..cute may be pushing it.

BUt, after an exhaustive search, I did find one very cute Cardinal...

Have a great weekend my baseball and blog friends...

Balls of Fire

I'm not a big Texas Ranger fan..I just enjoy baseball..but, is it me or are there no hot Cardinal players? jeez..think I'd rather hit the Texas locker room!

Josh Hamilton...you may not know his story.  He was the first overall pick in the 1999 Major League Baseball Draft by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. He was considered a blue chip prospect until injuries and a drug addiction derailed his career in 2001.  But, in a breakout 2008 season, Hamilton was named to the American League All Star team, and made the All-Star team the next two seasons as well. He also participated in the Home Run Derby, where he hit a record 28 home runs in the opening round and finished with 35 home runs, which was second-most all-time in derby history. Hamilton won the AL batting title in 2010. On October 22, 2010, Hamilton was selected as MVP of the 2010 ALCS. On November 23, 2010, Hamilton was named the 2010 AL MVP, earning 22 of 28 first-place votes.

This post-season, Hamilton has been hampered by a groin injury, but is valiantly playing at 80% to protect the Texas lineup. In last nights game, he hit a sacrifice fly to tie up the World Series against the Cardinals.

Anyone want to help Josh with that injury?

When In France

Was listening to Howard Stern this morning and one of his guests that day was Perez Hilton the gossip/tabloid columnist known for posts about celebrities and photographs with his own opinionated and sometimes mean captions or "doodles." His blog Perez Hilton.com has garnered negative attention for its attitude and its "outings" of alleged closeted celebrities.

The gay Perez explained that he has ceased his outings and has eased up on his negative comments of those he writes about - showing a "kinder and gentler" Perez.  Once the badboy of Hollywood, he is now accepted and revered in Hollywood. Now 33, he says he's matured.

One of his more revealing comments to Stern was that he uses Grindr on his IPhone. Yes, that Android/IPhone app that has helped many a gay/bi man in their sexual pursuits.

"The good thing about Grindr is, while it is mainly about hooking up, it doesn't only have to be about hooking up" he explains.

While in New York, he was on Grindr and ended up meeting a person in a bar and subsequently took that 23 year old, model to be to his hotel room, where they engaged in oral. He tells the King of All Media Stern that the oral lasted for some time.

"Oral lasts longer than  two minutes!..I blew him, he blew me, we blew each other." he explained.

Paraphrasing the interview, Stern asks "Where did you guys blow your loads? Did you finish on his face?"
Perez laughs: "I came on his chest. He came on himself."


He later revealed that he has quite the sizable cock: 8.5 inches, so he says. 

Seems that Grindr works..for everyone, celebrities included. Maybe he's shooting for some kind of celebrity endorsement deal with Grindr.

Baller of the Week

It's not about being perfect athletically..it's not about pitching a perfect game, hitting the winning home run..or making the defensive gem of the game.

No..it's about being hot, a steamer, handsome...

I give you C.J. Wilson.. The Texas Rangers starter, and soon to be free-agent (can you say mother-load of money?) is just that.

He pitched just well enough to lose the game last night to the Cardinals 3-2, pitching 5 2/3 innings and giving up 3 runs. Still a winner in my book!

On the Horns

I have a dilemma.

I received an email recently. It was very interesting..at first, I thought it was from someone out to kick my ass (as usual). Started with the usual vile comments about my deceitful life..then - bam! a shocker - which I won't divulge. Suffice it to say that the letter is written by someone who knows a reader of this blog.

I wrote back..we exchanged a few emails. He mentioned that he wouldn't mind if I posted the letter on my blog..and I am deciding whether to do so..but the writer..says he's a teenager..yet, writes as someone much older and much wiser. If true, it's written out of emotion and probably after much forethought - so that could explain the literary complexities.

But, what to do? Publish this letter and maybe out this other person who may recognize himself in the letter? Wouldn't it be unlikely that someone would actually read this blog and recognize a letter as written by someone he knows?

He no longer responds to my inquiries..I have no idea if this letter is authentic..

What to do?
Hmmm...

Hump Day: Marcelino

Age 21 Location Los Angeles, California Height 5' 9" / 1.74 m Weight 154 lbs / 70 kg Waist 31" / 79 cm Shoe 10.5 Hair color Black Hair length Medium Eye color Brown Ethnicity Hispanic Skin color Tanned

Saving All My Love

There are times when you have to save all the bullets you have for that special occasion. When I was having sex regularly, with Ross, often, I'd be worried that if I blew a load with him on a Friday, and went home, and if my wife was expecting sex, that I'd have a problem. No, I've never really had an erection problem, but, obviously, the desire to have sex fades quite a bit once you've blown it once that day already.

It seems like lately, I have a few guys that I've been chatting with and we're real close to meeting up, and, most  probably, having sex. One is the guy I've reconnected with after a long time. He's off on Wednesdays and it looks like that is the day.

Then I spoke about another guy who lives real close to me. He's the guy that said "Wow" when I showed him my pic. He's very nice, very cute and I'd really like to get with him and see if things work out. He also says he's off Wednesday! Jeez..when it rains it pours!

Then, there are the assorted other guys who chat me on Grindr who are nearby..want to meet..etc. So, now I'm turning these guys down, not knowing if I'm going to get my candle waxed soon by one of the guys I really want to get with.

I'm hoping something happens soon. Otherwise, I'll probably end up with nobody and nothing, except me and my hand.

The Exploits of the Young

Last week I wrote about my early experiences in life. How I basically played "you show me yours - I'll show you mine" with a neighbor when I was as young as 6. Don't know how this formulated my sexuality today..but, there were also other incidences that came to mind recently..and they weren't all gay - boy-on-boy incidents.

I remember being in a different friends house..again I must have been about 6. We were doing whatever, playing in his room..normal kids play. Then we walked out into the hallway..and we both came face to face with his mom..a tall, brown haired, lean, in-shape lady. She was walking out of the bathroom..freshly showered and totally bare assed naked!

As we stood there gawking at her dripping wet body she basically let out a shocked scream (think Kevin in Home Alone) turned and ran into the bathroom.

"Did you see that?" my friend asked. "Did you see her snatch?"

I don't remember my response..I think I probably stood there open-mouthed..flies milling about. It was the first time I saw live a naked lady in front of me.

The Gay Footballer

The following interview and article is from the blog  The Justin Campaign. The pictures are added by BLM.

Anton is a Swedish footballer who currently plays for Utsiktens BK. The son of former Liverpool player Glenn Hysén, Anton openly declared his homosexuality earlier this year, thus becoming the only current openly gay professional player. Here, he talks to the Justin Campaign about his decision to come out and the huge media coverage which followed.

There has been a huge amount of media interest in your story since you publicly came out. Did you expect such a media frenzy?

I’m really surprised that it is has been this huge. Ive known for a couple of years that I’m gay and so have my family and friends so I just didn’t think it would be this big. But, overall, I really don’t care. I’ve no regrets. I see it as a small thing in my life but obviously everyone else has made it much bigger. Maybe in one or two years they’ll forget about me.

Have the media been completely positive in their coverage of you and your decision to come out?

Yes, they’ve been really positive. However, I wouldn’t really care if somebody was negative about it. I have seen and heard negative stuff but obviously everybody can’t love you.. Overall, I’m just taking in the positive stuff.

Inevitably, since you’re the only current openly gay professional footballer (and the first since Justin Fashanu), you have become a very important figure for those fighting for gay rights in sports. Are you comfortable with this new role model status?

I personally don’t see myself as a role model but everybody else says that I am! Although, personally I think it’s a good thing that I’ve apparently become this role model but it’s such a small thing for me. I’m just being honest to everybody about who I am but I’ll do everything I can to help make this world a better place.

What prompted you to publicly state your sexuality?

We have always talked about my sexuality in our family and nobody cares. It was such old news. But then, my dad was talking about me to journalists and he mentioned, in passing, that I’m gay. The journalists were immediately interested, particularly as I also played football, so they asked to talk to me in a magazine called Offside. I understood it was interesting for them so I did it and it has turned out pretty big.

Prior to coming out, had you witnessed much homophobia within Swedish football?

People sometimes make jokes about it but I’ve always ignored it. To be honest, there are always going to be people who think differently about you and you have to just ignore stuff people say. However, when making those kind of jokes, you shouldn’t go over the line. Then again, you know how football is, they’ll say anything to psyche you out. But if you are a good footballer, then your sexuality shouldn’t matter.

How have your team-mates reacted to you coming out?

They’ve been very positive. No-one has really cared. All they care about is winning the league so nothing has changed.

Has having your father, former Liverpool star Glenn Hysén, as your boss at Utsiktens BK made it easier for you to come out to your teammates. If he wasn’t involved with the club, maybe the other players would feel more able to express their disapproval of your decision (if they felt that way).

It wouldn’t be any different. I’m there to play football and all the other players just come to the club to play football, so nothing else matters.

How have the crowds at your matches been since you came out? Have you heard much abuse?

We don’t have very big crowds I the Swedish Fourth Division, but there have been occasions when people in the crowd make jokes or whistle at me, but I just laugh at it all and keep playing. It’s funny. And overall, I couldn’t be more happy!

Were you aware of Justin Fashanu’s story?

I didn’t really know about it before I came out but it’s a tragic story. It’s horrible to hear that he suffered so much.

Did you think your high-profile status will help or hinder your footballing career?

That’s something I really don’t care about. If football clubs don’t want me because I’m gay, then that’s their problem, I’m playing because I love football and if they see that I’m good then that’s all they’ll care about. I’ll just play as long as I can and go on not caring what people think.

Lots of Scandinavian players make the journey across the North Sea to ply their trade in the UK. Would you like to follow in your father’s footsteps and eventually play in the Premier League?

I would love to do that. I had a trial with Doncaster Rovers when I was 18 and it was interesting to see how teams operated in the UK. At the moment, I have a lot to do to get there but one day, it would be great.

Your father played for Liverpool and you are a keen fan of the Reds. 

What is your take on the current situation at Anfield?

I think its great that Kenny Dalglish signed a new three-year contract. He’s done a lot for Liverpool since he’s come back and I think, in the long-term, he’ll succeed there. Also, the players that have come to Anfield under Dalglish, from Carroll and Suarez to Henderson and Adam, are amazing.

In The Beginning

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*********

I got to thinking, when was the first time I really knew I was interested in guys? I mean, although my first experience didn't occur till I was in college, I did have some man-on-man..well, boy-on-boy experience prior to that.  That was a long time ago.  I suppose everyone has had such an experience..I think..

I probably was about 6 years old. I had a best friend who was also about my age. We were neighbors and we hung out a lot: play dates I suppose. Back then, of course, there was no Playstation, XBox, or Wii. We played ball, hide and seek, swung on swings or played Cops and Robbers (yes we were allowed to have cap guns, and air rifles). We were always outside playing either in groups with older brothers and sisters or one on one.

I don't know how it happened, who instigated it, but, I remember ending up in a dark shed behind my neighbors house - and I wasn't alone. I was with him: my best friend. We ended up just pulling down our pants, and looking I guess. I don't remember any actual touching and definitely there was no oral. I suppose  we were just two curious boys showing our goods. But I was pretty excited about it.  Is that normal?


I also remember  being older, probably in junior high school. We had moved to a new neighborhood, new neighbors and again, a new buddy. I went to his house one day, and remember this guy taking his cock out and peeing on me! But, despite the fact that I was pissed about being pissed on, I saw his cock, and big red bush (he had red hair) and that turned me on.

There were a few other incidents as I grew up. Another friend who was smaller than me in height and we would dare each other to put hands down each others pants..dropping something - a toy or something - into my underwear and making him take it out. Then I know I was way excited and turned on by him reaching into my pants or me reaching into his.

I'm sure others have had such experiences. Maybe some went further, maybe not. I don't know if they were evidence of my future sexual desires or just the normal activities of boys growing up.