Stand Up! (V)

Man Groomer

Although for years I've buzzed my chest, and body hair, in the summer, I've always felt some sort of self-consciousness. I feel like someone's going to notice, say something...and it's just a conversation I'd rather not have.

I have a neighbor..he's kinda a nosy body. You know the type..always talking about other people, spreading stories..he knows what's happening in every house, or so he thinks. I have the tendency of washing my car or working outside in good weather with my shirt off. He often comes by to gossip. He said to me something stupid like "so trimming the chest hair, huh?"  It made me feel stupid..like I needed to defend myself. This guy wouldn't be caught with his shirt off wherever he is.. and thank god - he's pretty out of shape.

I know lots of guys do it, it's far from uncommon. I see it all at the beach..but, it's still something someone looks at I suppose.  One of the guys I've known for many years, one of my good friends hangs with us at the beach. He's pretty hairy..I mean..lots of chest hair..on his arms..and some on his back. Don't get the wrong impression..he's no one I'd ever mess with sexually - I'm not interested.

Anyway, a few years ago, he said something to me about my grooming habits. I told him it just makes me feel better..I like to be cool in the heat of the summer (never mind that I buzz all year round).

Two weeks ago, this same hairy guy was sitting next to me. I noticed his upper arms were shaved..like the area around his shoulders and stuff. I thought that was odd for him..who is not a metro-sexual at all. Anyway, this week, I notice his chest hair has been trimmed quite a bit. It really was very surprising.  I didn't feel the need to make any comment..hey..I don't like to be asked, so I figure why put him in an uncomfortable situation.

Maybe I'm setting my own little trend on the beach of DILFS (Dad's I'd Like To Fuck).

Hump Day: New Yawker

Guys..don't forget to click on the above links  to vote for my blogs at Best Male Blogs and PLU!

Age: 19 years old
Location: New York, New York, US
Height: 6' 0" / 183 cm
Weight: 145 lbs / 66 kg

I Gaga Get It

Last week, Howard Stern had Lady Gaga on his Sirius XM radio station for an interview. It was an in depth (90 minute) interview and a coup for the Media Mogul to get such a star in the prime of her career.

Previously, I had my own feelings about Gaga. Yea, her music is catchy..but I was never a huge fan of her stuff other than the top of the chart stuff. Personality wise, I always thought she was a contrived person. I've seen her pre-Gaga YouTube video's at NYU where she attended as a music major. She was some scrawny girl who had little impact personality wise, especially compare to her impact now.

But she did give props to some big musical talents: Bowie,  Britney, Hendrix and others. She also didn't sound bitter to music executives who passed on her talents early in her career.

I always thought the dress and makeup was just a brilliant marketing scheme..and it may be to some extent. She explained how she never felt normal until she decided to buy the clothes she wanted, wear the wigs she wanted and put on makeup the way she wanted.  She finally felt normal.

She also told a story about when her father had open heart surgery. She was so depressed and worried for him that she wore his sweater for two weeks, with jeans, no makeup - dressed down, by Gaga standards.  She went to the hospital and was by her father's side when the tube was removed from his throat. She says his first words to her were "you look like fucking hell! Go home get dressed, put on your makeup."  Essentially, her father was telling her that not to use his faltering health to not be herself.  If a father acknowledges that their child is themselves a certain way, you can basically assume that it's not a marketing ploy.


On her abuse use of sex and drugs, she told Howard:

“I regret every line [of cocaine] I ever did,” Gaga confessed. “So to all of the little sweethearts who are listening – don’t ever touch it. It’s the devil.” Proving that she’s taking the maternal responsibilities of being the Mother Monster very seriously, she also advised her littlest Monsters that abstinence is the best policy. “I really think that kids have sex way too young,” she said, and “I’ve got a lot of young fans and I love you and I respect your show and I know you want to talk about sex and cocaine – but honestly you should wait as long as you possibly can to have sex.” 

Now, I think that is a responsible person speaking, taking into account her huge audience, she took the opportunity to discourage the use of drugs and support abstinence.


On her popularity and multi-million dollars in sales...

"I really don't give a f--- about money at all," Gaga said when Stern tried to get the singer to dish on how much money her album sales and tours have grossed. In fact, she said she still lives in a tiny Brooklyn apartment and has only bought two things with her new found riches: heart surgery and a car for her dad. "The Monster Ball was really expensive and the next show will be really expensive and I will pay for it," she said of the 2012 extravaganza that she's planning. 



She acknowledges certain pressures of putting out a new album: "It's like spreading your legs and taking a picture for everyone to see" is how she put it.

Yea, I'm not going out and buying her album, I won't be attending her monster ball, and I defintiely won't be Gaga-d out in some odd outfit and makeup..but, I did earn quite a bit of respect for this musical icon.

Equal Opportunity

Well, I guess it's official.  Today, all same sex couples can legally get married in the State of New York.  But what is a victory for equal rights, and has been celebrated world-wide as an advancement of gay rights does bring some sense of added pressure to same-sex couples.

Imagine..you've got a boyfriend or girlfriend. You've been exclusive or somewhat exclusive for a while now. Yea, you both love each other, have a history..but marriage? Is that the step you want tot take now? Well, isn't that a discussion that you now will need to have? Is that pressure to be asked..what about us?

Things were great before...there was sex, hot sex, a companion, the relationship..but committing to a long-term relationship does have it's disadvantages. Yes, there is a boon for the economy for Florists, Event Planners, Caterers..but..there will also be a boon for divorce lawyers too.

What if you liked the insecurity that existed before? Maybe it allowed you to make a un-committed commitment?  There's nothing legally binding you two together...but, does he/she want that commitment? Will it ruin what we have?

Yes, same-sex couples now have the same rights as all New York citizens. Some lucky ones will take advantage and enjoy their god given right to live happily ever after.

Others will have the same rights that some of us have had for a long time..The right to be married..and miserable.

It's Not Easy Being Green (V)

From my blog buddy at New Day, New Life.  He kinda captures the essence of being bi/gay/questioning, married and in the closet:

"I then asked myself if I married my wife because I thought I can easily lie to her about this. I truly  believe that I hadn't lied to her. I lied to myself and forced myself to believe that I was straight. I didn't accept it back then and believed that if I tried hard enough, I would be "cured." All I needed was to focus on family and career, and all will be fine. That didn't work out as I intended though. I couldn't get rid of these feelings, can't be cured, and tired of hiding."

And thanks to Bob..for this touching video.

Getting the Poison Out

Well, yesterdays unsuccessful hook-up still left me horny, and like I tried to do the day before, I needed to blow a load.  I was going to be busy at work for the next few days, and I didn't need the distraction of needing to find someone to hook up with, so, again, back to the cam.

This one was pretty simple and successful. Logged on, undressed, got a few oohs and ahhs (which is always nice) and took some orders (tame ones) like showing my butt, putting my legs up on the desk, and moaning and breathing hard (which isn't an issue with me since, when I'm cumming I get pretty hot and heavy into it).

After a while, I'm being egged on by 16 or 20 or so watchers...and the crowd wanted the money shot. So, I get myself comfortable, and really pound my cock...until..yeeeess..fuccckkkk...

I finally get the poison out!

Hump Day: How I Like It

Q: Sometime, a guy is someone you want to know, what does he like, what's he thinking, what does he do for a living?

Others, the guy's a piece of meat. I just want him..

Guess which one this guy is:

A:Yea, I want to know about him..but, if he's just a piece of meat..I'm all for the eating! He's perfect!

Selfless Promotion

OK. I'm gonna be like everyone else who blogs. I think my blog is one of the best non-professional blogs there is. I take pride in it. I don't really self-promote, asking people to vote for my blog, but others are stuffing the ballot box.

I know you guys are religiously visiting my blog, because I see nearly 4,000 hits daily. But, I get a lot of visitors from sites such as Best Male Blogs and PLU too.  In order to increase traffic, a higher rating means more traffic and visibility.

So, let's try and make my blog in the top 5! Everyone who visits here, please vote for me at the following two sites. (5 is best!)
(On PLU search for my blog. Should be in the first 3 pages!)

Thanks!

-BLM

Ring and Run

I was trying to just get the "poison out", so I can concentrate at work. You know, just blow a load so I'm not horny and can do work without distractions.  So, after everyone left the house in the morning, I hit the computer and the cam. I log onto Manhunt, and check the chat room. On occasion, I can get to watch some hot guys while I jerk-off.

I enter the room and there are, to my delight, a few hot guys online. One is very, very hot, from Pennsylvania, but, for today, good enough jerk-off material. I take off my briefs, and begin the ride. Hoping to be quick (yea, like I have any hope to do otherwise) I'm pretty hard, and still watching. A few guys are watching me, and that number is slowly increasing. I get a IM request, which, after seeing the guys profile,  I deny. Then another request, from someone that lives very close by and is someone I had emailed before.

He's younger, slim, and from his two pics, looks pretty hot. Last time we chatted, he said he didn't have a place. End of story..or just the beginning?

He asks to see my face, and I go private to show him. He says I'm handsome, look younger than my years.  Then he wants to check out "what he's going to get fucked by" and I show him the goods. "Hot" he says, and invites me over. Jeez, not what I was planning, but, hey, sometimes you gotta roll with the punches. I tell him I can be there in 15 minutes after I get dressed. Perfect.

He gave me his address, name (first and last) but no number. He says, he doesn't give out his number. Now, I can totally understand that, because I don't give out my number either. If I call you, it's from a blocked number. Anyway, I'm horny, looks like I'm going to get to fuck a hot slim guy in my neighborhood, so I go with it.

I drive to his apartment, and follow the instructions he gave me when I got there...second door on the left side and I checked to verify the name on the mailbox. I walk 3 flights up to his apartment, 3R. Ring the doorbell. A few seconds later, I hear footsteps and the door opens. There stands a guy, maybe 5'10" and about 300 pounds, with a beard. He stares at me, waiting for me to say something. Frantic, I'm thinking, what now?

"Frank?" I say.
"Yup" he responds. (Damn!)
"Uh, Frank Bostic?" I try.
"Yea" he says as he stares at me waiting to see why I've wrung his doorbell at 8:30 in the morning (Shit!)

 I don't know what to do. Did this guy juke me? like, try to get me over and now he thinks I'm gonna have sex with him even though he doesn't look like his pics? or did someone play a cruel trick?

"Uh, is there a Frank at 2R too?" I ask hopefully, but knowing that having two guys named Frank Bostic in the same town, in the same building, living above one another, would be realistically impossible.
"I have no idea" he says.
"Listen, I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong apartment. Sorry to bother you" I plead, hoping he doesn't pull me in, chop me up, and eat me before burying my bones in the dumpster out back.

I turn and walk down the stairs, wondering all the time..

How does this help the guy I was  talking to? Did he play this trick on me? On the Frank Bostic that lives there?  Is the guy that lives there some scorned lover of his, or enemy in some way? Is the guy trying to get at me, prove something to me? I mean, the guy isn't even there. He's not there to witness the "joke". What fun is that?

Just reinforces my original rule. If you're going to contact me, you can give me your number or forget it.

Getting Hard

My talk with my divorcing friends over the past few weeks has gotten me to thinking. They say things changed, that people stopped caring, stopped interacting. What causes that?

I know that I've changed. Over the almost two decades of being married, I've changed, and not necessarily for the better. My relationship with my wife has changed too and it doesn't necessarily all have to do with my bisexuality or extra-marital affairs.

I think what changes people is the realization that life is, well, life. It's work, its hard, it's difficult. It's has it's ups but, has plenty of downs. And it's the downs that change you.

I remember getting married, how happy I was. How excited I was. New job, new place to live, newlyweds. Everything was new, exciting and fun. Then there were the other accomplishments we had together: new car, new house...then kids. Having children, were one of the most exciting, happy days of my life. Playing with them, watching them grow, talk, walk. Every step was a happy day.

Then, there was the sickness and eventual death of my father. It was soon after the birth of my second son. At some point, I was consumed with traveling by plane back and forth to see him at every important doctor appointment, treatment, surgery. To be there for my Mom, to be there for him. To make sure he was going to get well, as predicted by his doctors. My wife encouraged me to be there and never questioned my need to help my family.  Soon, my father seemed incredibly frail. Unable to walk on his own without assistance. Out of breath after a few steps. Unstable on his own two feet. This from a man that helped others, worked hard, raised children, was looked up as an example of what a father, husband and friend should be. This is what he had become.
One day, I got a call from my Mom. I had to come quick..take the next plane out.  My father isn't well. I book a flight...race to the airport, and nervously wait. I must be there..I have to see him. I want to be there for my mother. The plane is inexplicably delayed. Then again. Finally, we board and take off, then more than five hours later for a normal 2 1/2 hour trip - we finally land.

The next half hour or so was out of a movie: I race out of the airport, grab a cab and tell them my hospital destination. The driver understands my urgency and drives accordingly. I pay him, run into the hospital and tear through the hallways to the elevator down another hallway to the Intensive Care waiting room. As I walk in, my Mom is there standing, looks at me and shakes her head, with tears in her eyes, and brings her hands up as if she doesn't know what to say.  I drop my bag and say "What's happened?"  She grabs me in a hug, and cry's "it's too late."

I hug my Mom, cry and we go to see my father. I then head to another room to make some calls...and inform the family that my father has died.  I get angrier and angrier...I tell my wife how I was delayed, how I rushed, how I just missed being with my Mom and father when I was needed most. I'm hysterical, I'm mentally exhausted, I'm fuming with anger and now livid!

I bang the phone down, once, twice, three times. I rip the phone from the wall, and across the empty room. I'm screaming, I'm crying. The door opens and there stands my Mom, a hospital security guard and a nurse.

"I was supposed to be here. I should have been here. American fucking Airlines..there were delays!"  I'm screaming.."I wasn't here when my father died because American Airlines couldn't get their fucking plane here on time."

My mother consoles me. The guard stays until I'm calm and I apologize for my violence.

For the next year, I mourned. It was the first father's day, the first holiday, the first birthday, the first of everything without my Dad's smiling face. Every day was a day to be mourned.

And I've changed. From that moment on, I realized this ride called life is not a game. It's not always fun. The good times, don't necessarily outweigh the bad. The good times are good indeed. But they are there as a juxtaposition of the bad: they are there for comparison. Enjoy them, because bad times are right around the corner. I know, it's a glass half-full mentality...yes I'm a pessimist.

When you're young, you enjoy life. Hopefully, there's little to worry about.  You've got the love and security of your parents. But, we always want to be a grown-up. As we age, we get to experience disease, heartache and death. We bury our relatives, our close friends, and our parents. We see friends have adversity: get sick, divorce. We struggle in other ways...financially, relationship-wise.

We harden. Yes, I hardened, and I don't mean sexually. Life hardens you. It makes you angry.  It makes you sad. It causes you to lose the emotions that made life fun, the child-like feeling that you can do no wrong. You lose the innocence: the belief in Santa, the tooth fairy, or that Willy Wonka really does live.

My personality has taken a hit, not just by my fathers death, but by other deaths too, by current events (aka 9/11) and by the trial and tribulations of life in general. Being happy takes work.

When someone asks why relationships change..to me, it's a natural progression of becoming an adult. We are no longer children. We no longer have the cocoon of safety of our parents. We struggle all our adolescence to finally grow up, be on our own, and this is what we have to look forward to.

We now have experienced life...we're a grown-up.
But, being gown-up it isn't what we expected. It isn't always so good.

Thirteen Minutes (V)

Thanks to BiDudeUSA for finding this clip:

Thirteen or so minutes from Michel de Bruin on Vimeo.

Girl Power!

I don't hate women.  After all, I actually liked them enough to marry one!

But, it's not the first time I've been accused of being a women hater..and probably not the last.  But, have you ever seen the Oprah show? They bash men. The View? Bunch of cackling chicks joking about guys. Hey, if you're going to ask a person for their stories it's obviously going to be one-sex-sided.  Oprah has often been accused of being a man-basher (and a closet lesbian).  That doesn't make her opinion or show any less popular.

I seem to be gaining a few more lady readers at Bi Like Me.  They often criticize me for being a hater..always taking the man's side of things...well..I AM a man! What do you want? the women's side? It's not anatomically possible!

I am and have always been a champion of women's rights and have, in the past, written about my support for a Women's Right to Choose. I'm no hater..but there are I suppose, some views that I am going to have that are going to be, naturally, one-sided.

I also get that while my blog is supposedly a bisexual blog, that I don't have stories of me engaging in sex with girls, or pictures of naked women on here.  Well, yea, I guess I live the straight life...and could have named this blog "Straight Like Me"..and it being about how..I'm not quite straight.

Or I could have named the blog "Gay Like Me". Maybe that's more appropriate..this blog being about me being married, yet..OK..I'll say it..gay.  But, being married..I thought..and for a long time..always thought I was bi. It's Bi Like Me..not like you..not like the other guy's Bi life..it's how I have evolved..how I've define the "Bi" life.  It doesn't have to be the textbook definition of bi...or even  your definition of bi.

Some of the ladies that have commented on my blog run their own, very interesting blogs. Some are just readers..who I assume have come across my blog and have become interested...without any background or experience in gay/bi  relationship.  Others, have a clear history. Maggie is an ex-wife of a gay man. She has an interesting blog..but, obviously, has "issues" with regard to closeted married men who are gay/bi. You're blog entries are littered with comments questioning other blogs like mine about the sexuality of the writers. You are, understandably, biased toward men coming out to their wives. That doesn't make your blog wrong or anti-male. It's just written from a life full of your experiences.

My hope is that with the input of others, whether they're guys or girls, that we can all learn from each other here. I am not without faults or biases..and I don't think any of us are.

I read your comments and blogs with interest. Don't expect me to cry over breaking a nail though.

Swiss Cheese

As I've blogged before in a previous post, some very close family friends have decided to call it quits as in get a divorce. To bring you up to speed, despite many talks with the husband, over the years, about marriage, kids, etc., he's had it and has left his wife.

We had lunch, and he told me some stories about his wife. Stories that someone would find disturbing, about her relationship with her kids, about how she treats people, but each one of them I found believable because I know this girl. She's volatile, difficult and often, unpredictable. It doesn't change the fact that she's still a very close family friend.

Anyway, it was finally her turn I guess. We went over there one night when we were invited for dinner. She's "totally thankful" that he finally left, he "did her a favor" by finally leaving and "the kids are better" without him around her to cause the stress.  She then broke into tears, telling me how for the past 4 years she was searching for the man she once loved. He changed, he was different, and she had no idea why.

Where was the guy she could laugh with? Where was the man she loved to talk to? Why wasn't he enjoying being with her anymore? I hugged her, and felt her pain.  I told her, maybe, with him out of the house, maybe they can develop another, different relationship.  One where he can be welcomed to the house if she needed assistance, a night out, a weekend away.  Maybe if the snow needs to be shoveled, or a dripping sink fixed, or a father's advice when a child needs it, he can be relied upon.

"I don't need him. I have my family and friends to lean on. I don't need him anymore." she says.

"Well, don't you think at some point, it would be important for the kids? To know that their parents can get along, consult each other on parental issues even though they couldn't live together anymore? Shouldn't that be the way a divorce works?  You guys were married for all that time, at some point, you must have had something in common, there must have been some love there. You brought two great kids into this world together. For their sake..." I tried to explain to her.

She then started her mud-slinging. About how he didn't have money, how he didn't pay the bills on time. How they were seconds away from foreclosure. How vacations turned ugly, how he ridiculed her in front of the kids, and friends - she says all this with language that wasn't flattering, and downright dirty - all within earshot of her children. Then she started telling us about her suspected adulterating ways, how she thinks, at some point, he went for an AIDS test because of his extra-marital affairs. How she knew this I have no idea..she just "knew" because she was with this guy for so long. I thought her stories were contrived, exaggerated and frankly, made-up.

It's then I stood up, held my hand up.

"That's enough" I said sternly, yet calmly.  "You're my friend. I love your family."
I continued: "This breakup isn't just hard for you" as tears began to well-up in my eyes." "It's hard for all of us. But, while I'll be here for you should you need me, I'm also his friend, also love him and I'm there for him too. I don't want to hear stories about personal marital issues, things that are private, things that have no use to me or anyone. They are things that happened in the past and now you have to look to the future and have  some kind of relationship with him, for your kids."

This man, I know is a good man. The stories she tells me I find unbelievable. He's a concerned, involved father. He works hard, makes plenty of money. I think her stories are her desperate way of trying to draw lines for her friends....make us take sides.

I'm Switzerland...I'm not taking sides in this war.

Hands to God

I park my car and walk to his apartment. Ring the buzzer and he comes running down, opens the door and almost immediately, I'm disappointed. Not a bad body, but the face was just not attractive to me. He explained he wasn't photogenic when we chatted by email, but, as often is the case, someone's "not photogenic" because they are just not good looking.  In this case, it was true.

I follow him upstairs. He opens his apartment door and we walk into a beautiful modern looking kitchen. Bright red cabinets, granite counter-tops, amazing cooking accessories and stove. I was impressed.  We walk to the living room, and I wasn't disappointed there either. Very well decorated, unique pieces of furniture, nice colors, and cool art.  I look around as we talk, taking in the atmosphere. He shows me the white marble bathroom and eventually the bedroom, which consisted of a big comfy four posted bed and dresser. The closet was equally impressive.

Each room, including the bathroom had speakers, and music played throughout the apartment. This was no normal, usual Queens apartment - this guy had taste, and apparently, money.
He's chatty - very chatty. Kinda too chatty. He's standing, sitting, not really seeming comfortable. He says "well, what should we do?" and I tell him "Well, you promised a massage, didn't you?" He again walks me to the bed and throws the pillows to the side and points to the bed as he asks me to get comfortable. I take off my shirt, pull my pants off and ask him if I can take off my briefs. He says "sure" with a nervous giggle and a smile. He was nervous, he said. He doesn't do "this" often. Being a 35 year old gay man, I would think that "this" is part of your everyday life..meeting guys, hooking up - but, perhaps this was a guy who was newly single.

I lay down on my stomach across his bed, with a pillow under my head. He pulls off his shirt, and straddles me, oddly, still in his jeans. He gets some oil and pours it in his hands and begins rubbing my back and neck. I love massages and at this point, really needed one to get out some knots that have been bothering me. He continues to rub. He told me online that he wasn't any expert, and he clearly wasn't, but as he said, he's a "pleaser" and he enjoyed giving massages, and he's never heard any complaints. He wasn't getting any complaints from me. The massage was strong and firm,  which is rule #1 for a good massage.  Most non-pros give wimpy rubs that are more annoying than therapeutic. This guy was much better than that.
I relaxed as he continued massaging me. We chatted off and on throughout the rub, about work, the neighborhood, and other small talk. He mentioned his boyfriend - in present tense in one conversation and later, mentioned the same boyfriend in past tense. I found it odd.

He rubbed my back, down to my lower back, nearly touching the top of my butt, then back to my neck, arms and shoulders again. After 45 minutes, he still was in his jeans, and still never touched me inappropriately, or even appropriately below my waist. Then, he got a phone call, and came back a second later, and before he got on the bed again, took off his jeans and underwear. He again straddled me and asked if there was anything else he could do for me. I mentioned that if he could massage my butt too, that would be great. He again grabbed the oil, applied it to his hands and began rubbing my butt, upper legs and thighs.  After about 15 minutes, he started brushing my inner thighs, and then my balls. Soon, he was reaching between my legs, grabbing my now engorged cock, and tugging it as he continued to rub my ass.  Eventually, I couldn't take it any more, turned over and he grabbed my cock and jerked me off as I shot gobs of cum all over my chest. He then jerked himself off as I rubbed his ass.

He got up, grabbed a towel and we both wiped and cleaned up. I get dressed and met him in the living room again, and look around at some of the interesting art. I ask him about the boyfriend - ex-boyfriend thing and he says he's recently single - 9 months it seems. I ask him further about the apartment, how unusual it was and he tells me his boyfriend built it. He reveals that soon after, the boyfriend got cancer, and through the next 6 months, he was by his side as he got weaker and weaker, sicker and sicker, until he died.
He shows me pictures of him and his boyfriend.  I see the love he had for him, and the understand the subsequent pain of losing him brought him.

I also now understand his odd nervousness of having another man in his home, undressed in his bed, and how lucky I was to have been the one he chose.

A Day At the Beach

During the summer, I spend lots of time at the beach..mostly with family and friends. Occasionally, I'll play hookie on a Friday, and hit one of the lesser known and little used beaches in the area. They're known to be either gay/nude or cruisy.

On this Friday, it was absolutely a fantastic beach day. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and it was delightful.  I got there early, made my trek to the area, and spread out my blanket. I read my paper and enjoyed the day and the different bodies passing by. I noticed a guy behind me and about 15 feet to the left. He was there before I got there, and was in a white speedo, he had a shaved head and had a great lean, body. Suddenly, I notice him walking up to me and he asks if I would spray his back with lotion.

"Sure" I replied. "Just spray? No rubbing?" I joked.

"Yea, spraying is fine." He responded. "I'm going for a walk and don't want to burn"

We continued to make some small talk and after his walk, he returned to his blanket. Later that day, I log onto Grindr and actually see a profile of a shaved-head lean guy..saying 1,200 feet away. I chat him and say hi. He responds and says hi..that he was at the beach (Duh!) I said I was there too and that the location should read 15 feet instead.  He laughed and I guess realized who he was talking to.

Later I went over and sat on the sand and we chatted about the day and the holiday weekend (It was July 4th weekend). Later, I picked up my stuff and headed to the showers, where he also was, showering after the day at the beach. I noticed his hot ass, and nice cut cock.

We said our good byes and I also sent a message on Grindr saying it was nice meeting him.

"Yea, maybe I'll see you another weekend." he replied.

Going Batty

I hit the spa for a relaxing day, hoping that maybe I'd find luck there again.  I was pretty horny, and it had been weeks since I hung with another guy.

I undressed and headed to the sauna.  It was packed with ..well..in order to avoid nasty comments I'll just say they were "undesirables".  So, I left there, headed to a jacuzzi. Most were pretty full, and I'm noticing it's a pretty busy day. I finally find a spot to relax and I'm sitting there when I notice a cute looking guy walk in and he sits not far from me.  From the distance, he's looking familiar.

He's probably about 5'10" tall, had a pretty smooth, lean body, and a hot little ass. Couldn't tell if he was cut or uncut, but, his body was kick-ass for sure.  He must have been Latin or something, cause his tanned skin was just beautiful.

After a few minutes, I move seats, and he moves, again, not far from me. I hit a jacuzzi, he steps in one not far. We dance like this for an hour. Eventually, I end up sitting right next to him and make some small talk. He does look familiar, and I finally let him know why I think I feel that way. I tell him that he looks like Derek Jeter of the Yankees. He appreciates the comment.

"Yea, defintiely have the same look, except your much better looking" I tell him.  It wasn't a line. He has the same face, a great, white smile, short buzzed hair and maybe if Derek was 10 or 15 years younger, it could be him.  This guy was quite hot.

He laughs, and again thanks me. We chat some more, he tells me he's from the area. Then he's off and so am I. I head upstairs to check some emails and make some calls. I find him doing the same as I'm walking around we bump into each other again.

"Damn!" I say, "Reception is horrible in this place"
"Yea, it's bad. Better upstairs" he responds.

I didn't take it as an invitation, or a come-on. I just took his advice and followed him to the next floor, where I continued to look at my phone. I notice him doing the same as he heads to the little used and a familiar shower area.  It's the same shower that I ended up with another guy a few months ago.  After that hot time, it was Crash and Burn . (Eyes Wide Open, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 & Part 4).
I walk in a second to two behind him and he's no longer on the phone, but butt naked walking into the shower. I ask him if this is the best place for reception and chuckles and says yes.

I undress and head into the shower where he is already soaping up.

"Hope you don't mind if I join you" I say.
Again he smiles that big bright smile and says "No problem".

We're soaping up and I'm washing/rubbing my cock as I'm getting hard and noticing that he is too. Eventually, he's stroking his cock and I'm stroking mine. I step a bit closer to his shower and touch his smooth body, his back (he has a great back) and his cute little ass. He grabs my cock and is jerking me off. I move my hand to his cock and we're closely watching the shower room door as we're stroking each other.

I rub his chest, which has a light patch of hair on it. I step in a little closer and rub my lips on his neck, to his ear, moving up slowly to his cheek. He responds by turning his head toward me, and our lips meet in a hot, kiss, tongues ever so softly flickering in each others mouths.

Just then, he tenses up and cum gushes out of his cock and a second later, he jerks my cock until I'm blowing my own load. We wash up and hit the locker room to dry off.  We laugh about a few things, making small talk. I find out he's actually 30 years old.

Noticing the time, I rush out as he leaves.
Wishing I got his number, an email address...anything. I would love another round with his bat and balls.

Hump Day: Kevin

Going the Distance

I look around at the spa, and guys come in all shapes and sizes..and I'm not talking body sizes either! Some guys cocks are oddly shaped I think. You see it online, in porn and stuff. They hook right, hook left, curve up, curve down and some bend in hurtful looking ways.

Then there's the whole cut/uncut thing. Some guys who are uncut have very little skin, almost looking like they're cut. Other guys have so much skin that it covers their whole penis head...

Then there are the sizes. I'm never the smallest (thank god) but I'm also never the largest unfortunately.  I see these guys, sitting in the steam room or sauna, their towels off, and their cocks actually touch the seat between their legs..it's awesome! lol

Last week, I was at the sauna, and these two guys were sitting next to each other, and I sat across from them, probably gawking. One guy was pretty well built, hairy chest, probably about 6'1", maybe 200 pounds of muscle, white guy, and a hot little ass.  The other was young, maybe 18, very little hair on his body, maybe 5'6" and slim. He had an amazing looking ass too. Two very good looking and lucky guys.  Their cocks were almost identical. Each was pretty big and both though flaccid, hung down, and nearly hit the seat they were sitting on, and curved to their inside left leg.

The two guys were also looking at each other, and I noticed some kismet going on (probably my gaydar going off).  Anyway, I couldn't sit there and stare all day, with spit drooling down my chin...so, I left just dreaming of the possibilities.

New York's Got Talent

This guy, who auditioned on America's Got Talent, doesn't necessarily depict the personality type of guy that I would be attracted to, but, in his own flamboyant way, he was amazing on the pole! His body's kick ass too! I would of course have eliminated the high heels for a comfortable set of pumps.

Love Me Long Time

So, finally found match. Too bad he's on the other side of the world!

Dear BLM,
Sorry in advance about my poor english and writing.
I am an gay man but have come across your blog last month and been reading ever since. I love it so much that i cant stop promoting your blog to people. I work in customer service, so i talk a lot with different  people every day.

Until I find you,I've  always been judging that there in no such a thing as Bisexual. Thanks for opening my eyes.

We are all struggling as human beings. No one's pains can compare with anthers but we can sure relate. Thats what your blog has given me the comforting to know that no matter who we are or what we are dealing with, we are not alone.
I would love to have a boy friend like you. I'm a very affectionate person who love vanilla sex, kissing, body contacts. The best part of sex for me is to fall back into each other arms to feel our hearts and body blend in a sweet harmony.

It's too bad that I'm far away and uncut other than we can be a good match.  I'm slim, smooth look young for my age because I'm Asian, and we don't age.

I'm in an opened relationship with three other guys. We live to gather and share the same bed every night. The only thing is missing for me is sex. Not the meaningless ones. I'm always looking for a steady boy friend  or playmate who is ok to share me with three other guys but have me just for himself in the sexual part. There is no sex in my family of four because we been together long enough that no one find attraction in each other any more. We love and care for each other deeply and would never run off with any random guy a long the way. That doesn't mean that we can have fun.

It's getting long. Thanks for your time and hope to keep in touch. I have been think for a month to write this email. Please help me correct the writing if you wanna repost my story. Love!