Odd Isn't It?

Yet another guy who sent an email with commonalities!

Finally!

I will say that your 'story' [finally started from the beginning] is so much like mine in many, many ways.

The part about being 'odd' in high school, not having any girls [I had a two year relationship with someone who was relatively 'popular' at one school, but we never did anything but kiss and pet; I went to four highschools].  I didn't go to college [yet] however, but went into the Navy.

I have always had the desire.  Met some really great guys in bootcamp, but when are you going to do anything there? !

After, however, it took me only a few months, and I met a great guy named Mike.  But it was the reverse for me.  I fell for him, and he kept me at a distance.  We did quite a bit more than you and Dave.  Then, he transferred to Hawaii.  And I, for 'moral' reasons, decided to go straight.  ;-)

I met a string of girls, but never had the desire, and was, quite frankly, petrified of it!  And I kept falling emotionally for straight guys.  Dave, Dave, Monty, then Tom.  The second Dave and Monty and Tom were the ones I told about me; and none of them turned on me.  But they didn't pounce either.  Each of them were quite hot.  But I was hotter, I think?!

After the Navy, I met a gal whom I then married.  And since we've been married, I did the same thing.  Can't share these guy's names, however, but there were four of whom, over the last eighteen years, I developed quite strong emotions for.  The last was A.  He was like all the others rolled up into one.  Beautiful.  We were friends for eight years.  I think he had some kind of 'urge' toward me, but was afraid to admit it, because of the religious component.  I haven't seen or talked to him in three years.  He hurt me pretty badly.

I never did anything with any of these guys, but affectionately touch them, which they never 'disliked'.

I'm afraid of two things: AIDS or other std, and getting 'outed'.

I too LOVE my life, my wife, my children.  I could not possibly hurt them.  I am still enamored with the male form, however.  I keep mine polished and buff, and also look damn good for 45, most folks think I'm in my early 30s, except for a touch of gray in my beard.

I guess I told you all of this because I felt I needed to reciprocate!

Here's a pic of me. Please don't post it! [unless you cut my head off and take the background personal stuff out of it!]. (I've elected not to post his pic)

I don't even really know why I'm writing, except that I thought I was the only one like me on the planet.  I live in HOUSTON for pete's sake, and I've never met like-minded men.

Argh.

A Fit Ending

We left the restaurant and headed back to my car, and I was to drive him back to his parked car. Again, it would be routine of us to hit a motel after..two drunken, in love, horny guys, aching to touch one another..barely able to stumble into the motel room before we ripped each others clothes off and had sex, before falling asleep in each others arms...until one of us jumped out of bed screaming that we had to get out and get home.

I drove him to his car.  Stopped next to it in the parking lot. 

"Really great seeing you, Ross" I said.
"Yea, was great. Should do this more often." he responded.
"Well, it's always been up to you..it's gotta be your call. I'm here, I'm here for you..but, you need to let me know when you're available." I said.
"Anyway, I gotta get home..." as I stuck out my hand for a shake.


As he shook my hand..he held it..and it lingered after the initial ..squeeze.  It was no longer a squeeze..no longer a shake..it became a soft, short hold..until..

"I don't get a hug?" he asked.
"Sure" I responded, and we embraced.

We hugged, as friends...and it was nice. I wasn't going to do it..it wasn't going to happen. I was sure of it..resigned to it..
He opened the door and left.

Of course...I wanted more...but, it was the ending that I needed.

I love the guy, but I no longer can be in love with him.

Idol Chatting

The wait was surprisingly short.  He was on time. He came up to see my office and by the time he got here, I was alone..everyone else had left for the night.

There were many times that Ross would come to my office or me to his, when we would have privacy and we'd end up having sex right there on the carpet.  We often laughed that the carpet in my old office should have been packed and taken with me, along with the desk, conference table..etc.  There were many hot and happy times spent there.

As I showed him around I felt some nerves that we'd succumb to our usual habits.  He sat in my chair, smiled his approval at my new digs and we chatted briefly.  I then said, we better get going in order to make our reservations.  We left..and the floor, thankfully - but maybe regretfully - was no worse for the wear.

We went to the restaurant and checked in and got "our table" as expected.  Ordered our usual - minus the alcoholic beverages. I have no doubt that had we imbibed as we usually would, that we would have ended up having sex. It was a weeknight and I had no intention of ending up in bed with Ross.

We chatted..mostly about him..about his troubling work situation.  I gave him some advice, and we kinda brainstormed the situation to try and figure out some solutions to his problems. I felt like I helped him.
More than once, he stopped, looked at me and said, "So, enough about me, what's going on with you?"
Ross never comes out and says exactly what he means..well, rarely.  He won't say "dating?" "meet anyone?"  "want to have sex?" - no..it becomes a cat and mouse game..and a guessing game as to what he means.

"Me? Nothing..you know..the usual. Work has settled down. It's really good, I'm very happy there. Wish it was a little busier, but definitely a good move." I said.
I went on: "Family's good..other than that..you know..more of the same."

"That's it?" he said. "Nothing new?"
"Nope..nothing." I responded.

Then we talked about his work again...and there was no touching..no intimacy..at least not in the restaurant....

Friday: A Fit Ending

Hump Day: What's in Your Calvins?

Reservations

It's just a meal.

He leaves work.
I call up the restaurant. Make reservations. I already know he'll be late..he always is.

I ask for the little used booth by the kitchen.  Nobody likes to sit there, it's secluded, and where we sat our first time there and where we usually have been seated.

It's just a meal.

I hit the bathroom, wash up, brush my teeth. Check myself in the mirror. I was right..I wasn't happy with what I wore today!

It's just a meal.

I head back to my office. The one he hasn't seen since I moved.  I straighten up..dust, use some Windex.  It was already waaay cleaner and neater than his office ever was, or could be even on his best day.  But still...

It's just a meal.

and I wait.  Wait for him to text me that he's on his way.

It's just a meal.

Eat? Who can eat? I'm about to barf.

Thursday: Idol Chatting

Suddenly

"How about tonight?" he said.
"Huh?" tonight? I was shocked.

He never is available at the spur of the moment lately...never at the drop of a hat..I mean...I was just offering..he was having a tough time lately.  I wanted him to know that I was there for him.  If he wanted to talk..maybe we can do lunch, dinner one night..and I offered, not really thinking he would accept.

"How about tonight?" he said.
"Well, are you sure? I asked.

I mean..I wasn't prepared.  I don't know that I'm dressed as nicely as I would have dressed if I knew..I don't know that I'm liking myself all that much today/this week/this year.  I'm certainly not liking this suddenness.

"How about tonight?" he said.
"Doesn't tomorrow lunch work better? Or Friday dinner?" I said.

I shouldn't feel this way, I know. I should just check my schedule, work it out with the family and say yes. What's the biggie? I'm not going to get sexually involved with him..It's a dinner..it's a friend.  We're just going to talk.

"How about tonight?" he said.
"OK. I'll make reservations? Regular place? I asked.
"Yes" he said. "Sounds good. I'll call you on my way."
"Alright" I responded.

and with that the plans were made. After another long time..Ross and I have decided to meet for dinner..on my offer to talk..not about us..about him. The troubles he's been having..work, him..his inner struggles...

Never mind dinner...Jeez..I need a drink!

Tomorrow: Reservations

Glee Ratings

I've recently started watching the TV show Glee. I've heard a lot about the show and pretty much after I saw an episode, I was hooked. Was it the amazing character stories? The wonderful singing? The acting?  Yea, yea..it was all that..but, also the cute guys!

If you haven't seen the show, it's about the Glee (singing) club in high school. But the members of the club aren't your normal high school students, but seem to be outcasts in the school: the wheel chair bound geek, the fat black chick, the fat white chick, the popular girl wannabee, the goth girl, the dimwitted cheerleaders, the gay guy, and the lesbians.  It's a club full of misfits yes, but, in this case, it's also a club full of talent.  They soon recruit the school quarterback, the new kid at the school and the school bully.

The clubs members do have lots of talent, and they're like no group of misfits I've ever seen. For the most part, they are beautiful people... the guys are incredible, and the show, probably in order to maintain their teeny-bopper girl and gay guy audience have exploited the guys on many occasions. 

The Glee club's fearless leader is Will Schuester (Matthew Morrison), a talented young teacher with hip-hop skills and a heart of gold. His character has had love interests with another teacher, and that has given him the opportunity to take of his shirt and show us his chiseled body and great abs. I wish I had a teacher like that in high school!

 

Another fabulous talent on Glee is the gay character Kurt, played by Chris Colfer. He often wears clothes that are, well, just "out there" as far as showing his sexuality. When you look at him, there's no denying where he likes to take it. While he's ubber-talented, he's also ubber-effeminate, making him a target for homophobic jocks picking on him and due to this bullying he ends up transferring to another, all boys school.

There are other more notable hotties on Glee, like a super, incredibly  hot guy named Chord Overstreet. He's blond, blue eyed and has an incredible body which he seems to always show in a shower scene, or in the locker room or even on stage as Rocky Horror Picture Show's main monster! He's great to look at, but even in my fantasy world, out of my league.

His teammate and rival on the show is the All American
Cory Monteith, the high school quarterback and a super cute member of the cast.

Then there is Puck, the mo-hawked rebel, whose a great male addition to the cast, as is the "Asian guy on Glee" which is an aptly named Facebook page on the actor, Harry Shum Jr. He's got some great dance moves and is great looking too.

But, my favorite, is none other than the all boys school main character and Kurt's new boyfriend: Darren Criss. He's sensitive, talented and like the rest of the boys on Glee..HOT!


If your interested in some good, funny, entertaining programming..check it out. You may also satisfy some fantasies of your own!

***
Just to tickle your ass with a feather:
next week: Ross returns!

Eating Disorder

I've decide...I think I have an eating disorder. I've been talking to people in my office.  They think I'm crazy. They hear me talk about my workout routine.  Early morning..every day at the gym.  They see me eat what they call bird food...they see me avoiding the candy..the snacks..the soda.

Today I got: "So, you're not gonna have some of the cake so-and-so brought in?"
"Nah." I say.
"Is that why you're chewing gum?"

Come to think of it..that is probably why I'm chewing gum. It keeps my mouth busy. I guess if I'm working..maybe I don't think about eating anything since my mouth is still chewing. Also, if I'm chewing I'm less apt to spit it out and replace it with food.


Yes, I guess have a disorder. I don't stick fingers down my throat and throw up. I don't purge..and I don't starve myself. It's a disorder of the mind.  But, I look in the mirror and don't see the body that I want to have..

I'm Manorexic.

Hump Day: Let's Fight

A Friend Indeed

Enough bullshit of the past couple days....
Got an email from a reader saying the font on my blog was hard to read, so I've enlarged the size and changed the color a little to allow more contrast.  Thanks for the suggestion!

Here's an email I got from a reader and as you know, I'm a sucker for a great story!

Interesting Blog. Like you, I'm married to a wonderful woman who I love very dearly. But she has no idea that I'm an insatiable cocksucker. Although I feel extremely guilty that in order to satisfy my oral obsession I must be dishonest with her, I don't view my actions as cheating. Sucking cock is the only sexual thing that I do with another guy. No kissing, hugging and absolutely no anal! It's just another thing that I do "with the guys" like playing cards or sports or other activities I enjoy but in which she has no involvement.  You might be interested in reading a story I wrote describing my youthful experiences which resulted in my penchant for performing fellatio.

I'm a married straight cocksucker. I say straight  because I love sex with women and I don't have any other interest in  guys aside from wanting to suck their cock. I've been an avid and enthusiastic cocksucker ever since the first time I blew my best friend  Larry in high school.

Larry and I were best friends since grade school and when we  became teenagers, we began to experiment with our new found sexuality.  We started out masturbating together and I was surprised to discover that although I was taller and more muscular than him, his cock was considerably longer and much  thicker
than mine was. We quickly progressed from jerking off  to giving each other handjobs and inevitably, blowjobs. At first,  we did it to each other in order to have it done to ourselves, but I  quickly realized that I loved the erotic sensation of his big cock filling my mouth.

In the beginning we agreed to warn the one giving the blowjob when  we were about to cum so he could finish with a handjob, but on one  occasion, while I was lost in sucking on his cock, I felt his already  big cock growing even bigger and harder in my mouth until with a groan, he came and proceeded to fill my mouth with what seemed to be a  continuous, pulsating stream of warm, thick semen. Since his cock was at  the back of my mouth at the time, I had no choice but to either swallow it or choke, so I swallowed it all. Afterward, he said that he was  sorry, but that it felt so good that he got carried away and  once he began, he couldn't stop. He said  it was the most that he had ever cum  and that he could not believe that I had swallowed it all.  He asked me  if I liked the way it tasted. I pretended to be angry, but the truth was  that I was DELIGHTED that he had cum in my mouth. Not only did I like  both the taste and the thick, lumpy texture of his cum, but I was surprised to realize that I liked being a "cocksucker"  Up until then, we would do it once or twice a week but after that first time that he  came in my mouth, I wanted to do it EVERY day.


As my enthusiasm for sucking his cock increased and my skills as a  cocksucker improved, he would more often get "carried away" and cum in  my mouth  until I admitted that I liked it and that in fact, I WANTED him to cum in my mouth. He had suspected that I enjoyed it and so after that, he would obligingly cum in my mouth and I would obediently  swallow.  We alternated days giving each other blowjobs because after cumming, we would lose the desire to blow the other, but as he began to  realize how much I loved sucking on his cock and eating his cum, he  gradually became less and less interested in  blowing me when it came to be his turn, suggesting that I blow him instead since I loved doing it  so much and that he would do me the next time. I would eagerly agree as I  welcomed every opportunity to get my lips around his cock. Eventually he stopped blowing me altogether and I became his own personal  cocksucker. I really didn't mind since by that time I had a girlfriend  who loved sucking my cock almost as much as I loved to suck on Larry's cock. Between the two of us, I became the better cocksucker because to  him it was only a means to an end, whereas I couldn't get enough of it.

Even though he had a very big cock, I learned how to suppress my gag  reflex and take it all the way into my throat until his balls were resting on my chin. The first time that this happened, he was fucking my  mouth but with each stroke he pressed the head of his cock against the constriction at the  back of my mouth leading into my throat. He still had about three inches  of his cock still outside my mouth and as I became more comfortable  with the sensation, he began to  push harder. Each time, he was able to go a little further into my mouth. I felt my throat being stretched and widening to accommodate the entry of his cock as he continued  forcing it deeper into my mouth until I suddenly  felt  my throat open up allowing the head of his cock to surge past the constriction and continue sliding easily all the way into my throat until my nose was buried in his pubic hairs!!   We were both  amazed at what had just happened and I was delighted with the way that his cock felt buried deep in my throat. After a few moments, he withdrew his cock from my throat until just the head remained in my mouth only to roughly force it back down my throat.  The more he did it,  the easier it became until finally, he was able to slide his cock smoothly from just inside my mouth into the depths of my throat.

From that day on, it  became our favorite technique.  I loved the sensation  of his cock  filling my throat and I wanted to keep it there for as  long as I could. Although I was unable to breathe with his cock all the  way down, I  learned to swallow with his cock in my throat, using my  throat muscles to massage his cock until he came.


Over time we developed a daily routine. After we got home from school,  we would meet at his house or mine, usually his since both his parents  had jobs. I would get on my knees with him standing and I would suck his  cock as he held my head and fucked my mouth. Sometimes he would cum  with his cock on my tongue so I could taste it before I swallowed it but  usually, after vigorously fucking my throat with his cock, he would cum  with his cock buried deep in my throat. I couldn't taste it but I could  feel his cock pulsating in my throat as he ejaculated directly into my esophagus.
Once, we were almost caught by his older sister when she came home unexpectedly just as he was cumming in my mouth. He was able to quickly put away his cock and zip his pants just as she walked into the living room where I had been blowing him, but I was still on my knees trying to swallow his cum. He made up a lame excuse about me looking for something that I had dropped on the carpet but since my face was very red and we both must have looked guilty, I'm sure that she knew what we had been doing. After that day, she always gave me a little knowing  smile whenever she looked at me. Since she was also my sisters best  friend, I always wondered if she ever told my sister about her suspicions..


Often, after dinner, we would go up to the roof of the apartment house where he lived and I would give him another blowjob on the roof behind  the stairwell enclosure. The parapet came up to his waist so although he could be seen from the street or the adjoining buildings, I couldn't  be seen down on my knees sucking on his cock. I kept a board there to protect my knees from the roof gravel. If the weather was bad, I would  blow him just inside the door of the roof landing. We continued with our  daily ritual for over two years until we
graduated from high school and went off to college. I still love giving  blowjobs, but I loved sucking my best friend's big cock the most of all. I recently confessed to my wife about having sucked my friends cock and about how much I loved doing it. I didn't tell her that I'm still a cocksucker.

Apples and Oranges

I originally didn't intend to respond to a comment made by someone last week  I thought originally that it wasn't worth my breath. I'm also starting to feel that this is getting into a pissing match and also, going way beyond what I want this blog to do. Thinking about it..it makes me angry..makes me a little pissed that I have to deal with it and on occasion..makes me think I should shutter my blog.

I had written about how I felt after finally speaking to some guy on the phone that I chatted with on the internet and that I could hardly understand this guy (A Little Foreign). He was obviously not born in the United States, and had quite the accent. Although I mentioned that he was Hispanic, I didn't disparage Hispanics, or foreigners.  I did mentioned however, how I thought it was annoying to talk to someone who didn't speak English clearly.

The response I got from Drew was as follows:

"I am not trying to be rude of insensitive but after reading your posts over many months I have come to the conclusion that you are the way you are because you are jewish. What I mean by that is I have found that some jewish people can be very inflexible, frank and very opinionated. I see some of this in you. I don't have any problems with jewish people. I admire them for what they have had to deal with and I am a supporter of Israel, but having done business with them for over 30 years I have some experience with their personalities. Just an opinion. Let me put on my bullet proof vest!! ;-)"

That comment concerned me. I re-read my post. Could I have possibly come off as mean or racist - anti-Hispanic? Anti-foreigner? I looked at the post and determined, despite my opinion (yes this is MY blog, I think people come here to read MY opinions, so I'm entitled to be opinionated) I don't think my post was mean-spirited. I even said, from the beginning of the post, that "I don't have an issue with a guy if he's Latin, black, Indian or Asian."  I went on in that post to say "But, when someone talks and I gotta say "huh?" every two minutes..that's not sexy to me. Even some people who supposedly were born here have a hard time speaking clearly. It's almost annoying."  The post clearly wasn't about being Spanish or foreign, it was just about people who speak incomprehensibly.

I think my blog, fuck, any blog is based on someone's opinions. Even if the blog isn't journalistic, like mine, and just pictures, the pictures are an opinion of what the blogger feels is hot, or what he believes his readers will think is hot.  How are you not supposed to be opinionated when writing about your thoughts? If you don't like my opinions, then hell, don't read!

To say a group, whether they be Jewish, Black, Italian, Irish, whatever group..to say that they have a certain negative characteristic is really racist despite the fact that you've worked with them, or one lives next door to you, or you have one as a best friend. If you didn't think you were about to say something bad you wouldn't have qualified it with saying that it isn't your intention to insult someone. Just like when people say things like "with all due respect" or "not to be condescending" they usually are about to say something disrespectful or condescending.

None of us, including me, are immune to opinions and stereotypes about others. It's a result of nature and nurture. It's how we are all raised, educated, and socialize. I remember when I first went to college. College brings together people from all over the country, and even the world. There were people there who had never seen a black person, a Muslim person, a gay person and yes, even a Jew. They looked at me and were staring. Eventually, I confronted them: what were they looking at? What was the problem?

"You're Jewish, right? they said.
"Yes I am" I responded. and then....
"Well, where are your horns? I thought all Jews had horns?"

I was shocked. How could someone be so stupid? I bent my head down, parted my hair. I showed them, I don't have horns, they're not there, I promise, I'm just like you. I think these people, after coming to know me, and us becoming friends, that they realized that stereotyping people just comes from ignorance.

There are all kinds of people in every ethnicity and religious background. No person in each group is exactly alike. The only thing that binds them together is their religious practices or their skin color - personalities differ. Yes, there are many Jewish people who are inflexible, frank and opinionated. But, there are just as many who have the same characteristics who are Black, Asian, Muslim, Christian or any other group.  It's the "single apple spoiling the whole barrel" concept: yes, you're going to meet people who are "bad" or have "bad character" but that doesn't mean that all similar people are bad. To level such statements against a protected class is discrimination.

When I write on this blog, and people read it, I'm hoping they're entertained..and also, maybe what I write is thought provoking. I also hope they're saying, "I did that" or "I feel that way" or "Me too." I'm trying to build a bridge, not drive people away, and certainly, not incite antisemitism. It's kind of why I titled it "Bi Like Me." We have stuff in common, hopefully, and that's what brings you back for more, and keeps me writing.

When you come to my blog, it should be for a bit of fun, something interesting, because I write from the same vein. I could be white, I could be black. I could be Christian, Jewish or Muslim. It shouldn't matter.  Yea, I'm going to say things that you disagree with, as you will say things that I disagree with in the comments. I don't shy away from criticism.

But when it gets hurtful, or hateful, when it gets to be mean and harassing, hell, I can go out to the world, and find that everyday, everywhere.

I don't need to come here for that, and neither do you.

Surprise! (V)

A Little Foreign

I chatted with this guy online.  He was Latino. Hell, I don't have an issue with a guy if he's Latin, black, Indian or Asian. Sexually, however, I am not attracted to black men or Indian.  Asians, white guys and Latins are cool though.
This guy was very lean...5'8, 130..so, smaller of stature I guess.  I like smaller guys..thin is great too. So, we're chatting and things are clicking..lives alone..clean, safe, not into drugs..

Then he tells me he's uncut.  Damn! I'm thinking.  That's not something I really like..but..this guy's so nice...maybe I should expand my horizons..taste a little of something other than the ordinary, so to speak. So we continue and I say we should meet..he gives me his number...and I call.

He answers and says hello.  I ask what he does ..as in a job..and I couldn't understand what he said..but apparently he's off work today.

"What? You do what?" I ask.

"I'm a bjkkldjfghg" he says incomprehensibly.
"Uh, OK." I say.

Now, some guys love accents, and I can certainly understand where they come from.  I guess knowing someone is foreign is sexy, they're from another land..different culture.  But, when someone talks and I gotta say "huh?" every two minutes..that's not sexy to me. Even some people who supposedly were born here have a hard time speaking clearly. It's almost annoying.

Yes, I know, people are going to comment how I'm close minded, stubborn, unreceptive, they'll even say I'm a racist.  But, I'm really not.come from Latin descent, however distant. Many of my relatives are from outside the United States. I just find it frustrating when I can't understand someone when they speak...especially someone I'm trying to have sex with!

Hump Day: Blond Cutie

The Right Rub

I love a good massage. I remember, even in high school, I'd get these girls to massage me (unfortunately there was no happy ending back then).  In the beginning, when I started experimenting with guys more, a massage by another guy was a way of getting some male skin to skin contact without having sex. Then, it became a precursor to some sort of sexual release.

At one time, I was so desperate for male contact, I paid for the massages..sometimes $100 or so. Sometimes you'd get a great massage..and sometimes, it wasn't good at all. And that was disappointing.  Sometimes, you walk in and immediately know that things weren't  going to be as expected.  Sometimes, the person doesn't resemble the picture at all. Sometimes, the rub is barely a rub. Other times, you're scared for your life and can't wait to get out of there.

A few times, I spent extra for a two man massage..two guys massaging me at once. One couple had quite an extensive website with all kids of options and choices with a price list. Massage, sensual massage, shower massage, aromatherapy, all these add-ons, like for S&M and stuff like that.  Anyway, I went to these guys who were both very cute, youngish. The massage was pretty good..hot..and they were more than willing to end it with a hand-job.

The other two man massage I had was with a couple, they were boyfriends. Again, I paid, and one was a foreigner the other was American.  Both very big, in shape, tall. I strip and get on their table and they start the massage.  Soon, they're already on my butt, massaging. Then I feel something warm..wet...and one of the guys is licking my butt, rimming me while the second is massaging my neck. Wasn't long until I was up, and actually had the masseuse bent over the table as I fucked him and kissed his boyfriend.  After that "massage" I was told to come back anytime - no charge! Although I never took them up on their offer, it was then that I realized that I shouldn't be paying for massages anymore. I can get them for free if I find someone interested in getting their hands on my body.

The hard part is finding that perfect fit of location, relative hotness and quality massages.  It isn't often that all three come together. In the past few years, I've met guys that give me a courtesy discount I suppose, allowing me to pay anywhere from $30 to $50 for a good massage.  Lately, I've been going to one guy who is defintiely proficient in massaging, has a good location, but lacks that.."Je ne sais quoi" lol..the hotness factor. But, he's a nice guy and does an excellent job. He doesn't charge me at all. He doesn't need my money and just gets off on massaging a hot body (thank god I still have it!) lol.  He also knows that there's a line we don't cross.

The other day, I found an ad on CL for a guy giving free massages. Since it's hard to find such a good thing, I did inquire and ended up making an appointment to meet him for a massage.  I walked up the stairs to his house and he opens the door with a smile. Tall, dark, Latin guy. Definitely in good shape. I walk into his living room, and see the couch with a towel on it.  Not necessarily a professional setup.

I strip down, and lay on his couch.  He grabs some lotion (again not the ideal massage oil or lotion) and rubs me. He has great hands I notice..a strong touch and I tell him.
"How long have you been massaging guys?" I ask.
"Not long. I just decided to start doing this." he confides in me. "I have a boyfriend, we're exclusive and I think this would be a good outlet for me to touch and see other guys too without crossing our lines."

 "OK. Well, you've got a great touch (as he straddles me)..just not a lot of room here." I say.
"Well, I'm hoping to get a little more professional, get a table set up. I'm going to start charging, but for you, I defintiely won't charge. I saw you walking up to the door and I was happy you weren't like anyone I've met online before. You're hot" he says.
"Thanks, I say." "I appreciate it."

He continues to massage me, using his strong touch allover my back, my butt, legs, feet, then has me turn over.

"Let's see the goods" he says with a chuckle.

I turn over and I'm slightly aroused, although not rock hard and he likes what he sees.  He continues massaging the front of my legs, then moves to my chest, stomach lightly brushing against my cock as he lowers his positioning with each stroke.  Then, he grabs some lotion, and begins stroking my now rock hard cock. IN a few minutes (maybe nano-seconds) I spurt gobs of cum all over my chest and stomach. He expresses his appreciation for my volume and wipes me clean.

After a quick shower, I get dressed and head for the door.
"Hope to see you soon" he says. "I'd love to massage you again."
"Yup, let's make plans soon" I say.

Who am I to deny a man of his work?

How Not To Do Things

Apparently, when I posted about Ross the other day, and his troubles with his sexual identity, a few readers wanted me to expand on what I mean when I said "I know how not to do things" So here I am, expanding on that thought:

1. Get out there: yes, I am encouraging sex. Actually, experimentation. If, when I was younger, I was able to experiment more with guys, maybe I could have decided what was going to make me happy. Do I like guys more? Girls? Both? Maybe I wouldn't have been so troubled as a grown up, married guy, because that would have all been decided.  Imagine: college and grad school was basically the only time in my life that I lived alone, or on my own. I was out from under my parents thumb, and could have done anything I wanted, saw anyone I wanted to see. Yet, the only gay experience I had was with one person, which confused me, scared me and freaked me out (yet I went back for more and more). My First REAL Time.  I should have used that time to experiment more. After all, who would know if I drove to another town, went to a gay bar, found some guy somewhere to do things with? Nobody. My loss. 
2. The White Picket Fence: who needs it? It's pressure put on by your family, friends, and most likely, yourself. Having the house, wife, kids..it's all great. But, who's to say that living with a guy, in a house and kids wouldn't make someone happier? Don't get married unless you are sure that: 1. your in love, 2. you like being with girls only, 3. you don't mind having sex only with that person for the rest of your life (echo: life, life, life...). Simply getting married because your fulfilling some stupid dream or expectation isn't enough. Do I wish I wasn't married? Yes. But, it has also brought me the two best things in my life: my kids. How can I rationalize the bad with the good?
3. Mind Your Own Beeswax: As far as I'm concerned, it's nobody's business whether your straight, gay, bi, or into S&M, bestiality, etc. Sex is a personal choice, nobody needs to be consulted, notified or approve of your decision except your partner. So, don't feel pressure to tell people "I'm straight" or "I'm gay."  All those that feel that outing a person furthers a goal of acceptance by society only drives those of us that want some sort of privacy deeper into the closet. That's not to say that there's isn't a place for those that are out and are using their status to further the gay agenda. It's just that everyone doesn't have to say they're coo-coo for co-co-puffs, just like everyone's not comfortable talking politics, religion or sports for that matter.
4. Miscellaneous: I'm sure I'm missing some things. But, in life, when looking back, there are always things you wish you could do differently. That's why they say hindsight is 20/20. Age bring with it wisdom (along with gray hair, wrinkles, and saggy balls). I wish I studied more in high school/college. I wish I didn't party so much when I was younger. I wish I knew the secret the "popular people" had in high school was- -  there is no secret! That popularity is function of self esteem and self esteem is a state of mind for the most part.

Yes, I know how not to do things. But so do you. Work-wise, education wise, maybe even like me, sexual-wise. But, sometimes, just telling someone about it doesn't help that person.

In order to experience life, you basically have to live it.

Mr. Lisa

Reposted from: http://dimewars.com/
Undoubtedly one of Leornardo Da Vinci's most famous paintings, the Mona Lisa is said to be a portrait of a man not the woman Lisa del Giocondo according to Italian researchers.

While this truly comes as no surprise, as speculation to the sort has been made before, but, it appears Silvano Vinceti has his two cents to add to the conversation.

According to Yahoo News, Silvano Vinceti said the portrait has several hidden meanings and "must be read at various levels". However, he highlights Da Vinci's apprentice 'Gian Giacomo Caprotti', also known as 'Salai' as the main influence and model for the painting. Vinceti described the pair's relationship as "ambiguous" and most art historians agree that Salai was one of the artist's lovers. The researcher goes on to claim that the similarities between the individual in the Mona Lisa and Salai's depiction in other Da Vinci works are "striking", and he particularly highlights the nose and the mouth. He added, "Salai was a favorite model for Leonardo. Leonardo certainly inserted characteristics of Salai in the last version of the Mona Lisa".

The painting, which now hangs in the Musee du Louvre in Paris, was stolen back on August 22nd 1911 and renowned artist Pablo Picasso was questioned about its disappearance. Its status as the world's most famous painting has also resulted in a number of unusual incidents. In 1974 it was reported that a woman became so upset with the Tokyo National Museum's policy for the disabled that she sprayed red paint at the Mona Lisa in protest.

Non-Love Song (V)

Courtesy of my friends at Wicked Gay Blog


Non-Love-Song from Erik Gernand on Vimeo.

The Best Is Yet To Come

I feel bad. Ross is troubled. In the past week, he's brought up his sexuality more than once. He's confused. He thinks people know. Do I think he acts gay?

No..definitely not I tell him. He doesn't talk effeminate. Doesn't act gay.  Lord knows his wardrobe isn't good enough to be gay lol...

But, he's concerned.  Then he says:

"If all the people I know die, or I'm dropped in another country, where I don't know anyone, I think I'd rather be with a guy."

Then:
"But it's weird, I want a wife. I want kids."

I tell him that what he wants is a family. Doesn't have to be with a wife. "You can always have kids. Take the time to decide exactly what you want...a wife? a wife who knows you're into guys? a guy? a guy that knows you're into girls?  It's all on the table. It's all good.." I tell him.

"Times are different now. Homosexuals are more accepted in society now than when I went to school or was growing up and ever day, they are accepted more and more. The fight goes on."

He's in his early 20's.  He doesn't have to rush to "come out" or decide, especially if he hasn't decided yet. What should he do if someone asks if he's gay, say "No, I'm undecided?".  It's nobody's business unless he wants to tell them..it doesn't matter unless he's already determined what he likes and he feels he wants to share that information with everyone.

I care about him. I hate that he's feeling confused. I tell him that I don't necessarily know that I'm the right one to be giving him advice...but then again..I definitely know how not to do things.