But, I can tell you that I do not look in the mirror and kiss it. I am not in love with myself. I do not see perfection when I gaze at my reflection. It's quite the opposite.
Am I critical of others? Sure. Arrogant? uh, I may come across that way...but, it's not because of my high self-worth. I think it's because of my social ineptness..my uncomfortableness with others..and that stems, somewhat from my hidden sexual feelings.
I am not a hater.. I am quite the supporter of those who are in need of that support: those of a protected class, subject to discrimination, scorn and ridicule of others because of their race, religion, sex, or sexual orientation. Note, I do not feel that someone who is fat to be a "protected class", because for the most part, they are fat because of something they have control over. Someone who is black cannot change that. Someone who is gay cannot change their orientation. Someone who smokes certainly can.
I know I'm a critical person. I suppose you can say (and some of you have) that I'm critical because of my unhappiness with myself. Could be true. Do I have any "disorders"? Well, I took a test..and here are the results.
|Schizoid Disorder:||Very High|
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
-- Personality Disorders --
So, I'm Schizoid and Narcissistic according to this test.
According to this website: "People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. Unlike avoidants, schizoids genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived by others as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners.""
Part of that certainly is true. I do prefer being alone a lot of the time, have weak social skills and have no need for attention, although I do not avoid it or scared of it. Humorless? No one would ever say that about me, although they may question my sarcastic humor.
A "Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recognize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. Narcissists tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them."
It seems that these two don't necessarily work together. How can I like being alone and not wish for popularity and seek attention and praise? I don't exaggerate achievements.
This test only proves one thing..but it's something I knew: I'm fucked up!
You can take the test too, and let me know (via comments) what your scores were.