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Sparking
There was a guy on Grindr that I had chatted with a few times. Seemed like we got along real well, and everything matched up. Then, we kinda lost touch and never actually was able to meet as planned.But, I didn't give up and finally, I chatted him and asked when he would be around. He mentioned that he was around that day..and gave me directions to his apartment.
As I pulled up to his apartment, I saw him standing outside waiting for me. He invited me in and we sat and talked on the couch - well, actually I sat on the couch, and his dog next to me. He sat nearby on a wheeled office chair. He placed his shoeless foot on the corner of the couch close to me.
As we talked, getting to know each other, I felt comfortable. He said he thought I was very cute, and I said the same. We talked about relationships, work, and usual stuff. Then I grabbed his foot, and ran my hand up underneath his jeans and felt his hairy calf. Then, he leaned forward as he was talking and I leaned forward too....and we kissed, and that was pretty nice.
I ended up shooing the dog away, and he ended up sitting on top of my lap facing me as we made out. Then he said it would probably be more comfortable in the bedroom, so we headed there.I took off his shirt, and although he claimed he was a runner, I noticed he didn't have a runner's body..he had a little bit of a gut..and although he was slim, I was kinda disappointed. Anyway, we continued to make out and touch each other..and then we jerked each other until we started kissing again and jerked ourselves off while making out. Was nice..
Anyway, I haven't talked to him again. I don't know..sometimes you just don't feel it, right? I mean, I could probably call him and head there again..but, I'd rather not if the spark just isn't there.
7 comments:
Is it just me...got a guy willing to make out and jerk your cock, and considered attractive...I would keep up some contact. Maybe not a keeper, but not worth throwing back either.
Not a regular but not to dump right way... :)
Just try to have like one date every month...
What do you want m8? The perfect man everytime?!!!!!!!
If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. End of story.
BLM: Maybe you should try to seek some spark at home vs. always on the prowl for takeout.
Anyway, I saw this article and immediately thought of your situation:
December 8, 2011, 7:00 AM
The Generous Marriage
By TARA PARKER-POPE
Hammerpress
This column appears in the Dec. 11 issue of The New York Times Magazine.
From tribesmen to billionaire philanthropists, the social value of generosity is already well known. But new research suggests it also matters much more intimately than we imagined, even down to our most personal relationships.
Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project recently studied the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women. Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning — and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners. How often did they express affection? How willing were they to forgive?
The responses went right to the core of their unions. Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together. Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14 percent claimed to be “very happy,” according to the latest “State of Our Unions” report from the National Marriage Project.
While sexual intimacy, commitment and communication are important, the focus on generosity adds a new dimension to our understanding of marital success. Though this conclusion may seem fairly self-evident, it’s not always easy to be generous to a romantic partner. The noted marriage researcher John Gottman has found that successful couples say or do at least five positive things for each negative interaction with their partner — not an easy feat.
“In marriage we are expected to do our fair share when it comes to housework, child care and being faithful, but generosity is going above and beyond the ordinary expectations with small acts of service and making an extra effort to be affectionate,” explains the University of Virginia’s W. Bradford Wilcox, who led the research. “Living that spirit of generosity in a marriage does foster a virtuous cycle that leads to both spouses on average being happier in the marriage.”
Social scientists are now wondering if this virtuous cycle extends to children too. In a study of 3-year-old twins, Israeli researchers have identified a genetic predisposition toward generosity that may be further influenced by a parent’s behavior. Preliminary findings suggest that children with more-engaged parents are more likely to be generous toward others, which may bode well for their future relationships — and their parents’ too.
“We see meaningful differences in parents’ behaviors,” said Ariel Knafo, the principal investigator and a psychologist at Hebrew University in Jerusalem. “In the long run we’d like to be able to see whether it’s children’s generosity that also makes parents more kind or the other way around. Probably it’s both.”
agree with J - keep the respect for yourself, dont go back. if it feels without spark, dont flog it, wont make the spark ignite.
Move on to another. Too many fish in the sea.
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