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Merry Fuckin' Christmas!
Yea, we all know my mental state isn't the rosiest. I try and hide that part
of me, but inevitably, it comes out. But when it comes to my kids, I try to be
in extra-high spirits.
You know how kids are: out for dinner and the meal isn't quite up to par..or
a little surprising even. I'm always the one to nudge them to "make the
best of it." You know, it's an adventure sometimes when you go out..new
restaurant..different food. My kids for the most part will try anything..but,
often can be disappointed at the littlest things. Lasagna not what Mom makes?
So? scape off the Prosciutto, and try it..otherwise, we'll send it back for the
safer Penne alla Vodka.
But
the holidays are something different. For kids, this time of year is full of
expectations...of anticipation..of excitement and ultimately,
disappointment. As usual, my kids have a hard time coming up with a list
of things they would like for the holidays. Of course, the list, if they
do make one, starts with things that they know they won't get..flat screens,
lap tops, cars, animals..but, I guess you have to give them credit for trying.
Then there are the few things left that we end up getting..supplementing with
our own idea purchases.
Clothes?
Well, if you have girls, yea, that could be great..but with a boy? Forget
it..they don't want clothes..so those boxes are often opened and tossed aside.
As is any item that's considered "basic essential" underwear, socks,
books, pajamas and the like.Then we open something that they "wanted"
and it's a let down: "Well, yea, it was on my list, but...now I'm not so
happy with it.” they say.
The big "wow" factor is gone. The days of crayons and coloring
books or match box cars, or cool wool hats and gloves, or enjoyable books
making any kid happy is gone. My kids, after they're done with the gift opening
frenzy..are left..depressed, sad, and moping around.
It brings me back to my childhood. I clearly remember days when I would get
gifts..gifts that I certainly didn't expect. Yea, when I wanted a bike, I got
my brothers old bike: now spray painted black, with new mirrors and horn.
Underwear and socks were often also given and needless to say, I came out of
the holidays unhappy with my presents.
But, I don't want my kids to have the same feelings about the gifts we give them..it's just that with kids walking around with I-Phones, Blackberrys, I-Pads , having Laptops, Flatscreens in their rooms..it makes my kids think that what they get isn't good enough.
9 comments:
You are a very WISE MAN. They will
more than appreciate you and Love
you more than words can Speak. My
9yr Grand Daughter, wanted an Iphone, her Mom says I am not paying that kind of money, cause her teacher has one. Smart Mom.
How old are your kids?
It is not about the things, it is about the quality of time you give to them... You coach, you mentor, you provide, you encourage... Your Gift this year is the way that they are.... You are blessed.... go hug the Wife
For years, my kids had nearly everything they asked for. I never agreed with that, but the wife just couldn't resist. Now that they are older, they are having to learn the real value of things.
When I was a kid, my dad gave me and my sibs $20 each for our annual trip downtown. [it changed from year to year depending on a lot of things.] I was expected to buy a gift for my 3 siblings, mom, dad, and grandma. And I did, every year. I learned that the joy is in the giving, not in the gift itself.
I also learned to live within a budget. When it was gone, it was gone.
I failed my kids by not insisting on a similar tradition. Stick by your traditions and don't let them sway you. You will not regret it.
BTW, I love the pic on your profile.
I too think you are making the right choices.
Merry Christmas!
XO FFB
Hey Merry CHristmas and Happy New Year to you in 2012. looking forward to more great post. keep it up, cheers.
Times sure have changed since I grew up too. Then my parents have both passed on and other relatives and friends are no longer around either. Its not the same but we adjust as best we can.
I wish you and your family a wonderful new year! Hopefully, Christmas was kind to all of you. - V
Glad to know that you're not spoiling your crew.
One Christmas my older children were, shall we say, less than enthusiastic about their presents, or at least the first round thereof that they had opened. It got down to the four year old. His present was underwear.... "Sonic underwear," after some cartoon character (maybe a hedgehog?). He screamed, overcome with joy, "Sonic underwear -- just what I always wanted!!!!"
That made the older kids realize that they had been ingrates, and the whole mood lightened up.
Turned out to be the most memorable Christmas ever.
This is all part of the reason I get so annoyed with people, especially older kids, during the holidays.
I don't know why parents buy in to "holiday guilt" or are unwilling to be upfront with kids once they reach middle childhood. There is no Santa Claus, and even more realistic, there is no endless pit of money when it comes to Christmas. But parents buy in to the guilt aspect of it all, and wind up disenchanted with the whole experience. I don't get it.
I'm not looking for sympathy here, but our Christmas was NEVER anything like that. Once we were in 5th or 6th grade, our mother gave us an allowance of money for Christmas and asked us to let her know what we wanted. We each got $25 to spend, and we would sit and drool over the Sears, Montgomery Ward, and Spiegel's Christmas Catalogs--picking out the things we wanted. This would start in September when the catalogs arrived in the mail. Half of those catalogs were devoted to kid's toys, and we would spend hours shopping for ourselves. It was the mid 1960's, and $25 went much further than it does today--I realize that. But the point was, that's all there was to spend! [This was our allotment, and we could do what we wanted with it.] We also learned very early on that Mommy and Daddy weren't money machines, once we saw what our cousins and friends got for Christmas. But it didn't matter! We learned to be happy with what we got; kids don't [and parents won't] do that today.
But we loved it! We looked forward to it each year, and we also learned to appreciate the value of friends, family and food over the holidays. But sadly today, that seems to be not good enough.
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