Hump Day: Vacations

Hello Goodbye

I am on vacation..but, through the magic of the internet, I am also here with you.  Yes, I will be having my daily posts as usual, because unless you're on on vacation too, it's business as usual for you, no?  As far as the posts this week are concerned, I apologize in advance for any pic, spelling or other formatting problems.  Sometimes, even though I check the posts, you can't see how they will look on the blog until they are published.  Any quality issues are not intentional..I'm on vacation man, give me a break!

Before I left, I saw Ross for about a half hour to say goodbye.  We both confessed how much we would miss each other the next 7 days or so. We hugged, kissed..he begged me to stay. We talked about "rules" - I said, I'm happy with you..I don't need any rules (and that's the truth!).  I think it was is way of finding out how serious I truly am -  but still, no "L".

Anyway, back to vacation...just think, right about now, I am getting out of the palatial spa..maybe after a hard workout at the gym that overlooks the blue green of the Caribbean Sea.  Maybe I see boats, sailboats in fact..and people frolicking in the warm waters.

I'm maybe headed to the showers/sauna/steam room.  I'll probably relax in the steam room for a little bit, just watching the hot, dripping, hard bodies around me, but dare I touch! I am not, not going to..no..there won't be any salacious stories about me picking up, hooking up or making out with anyone, because I have dis-avowed myself from any extra-marital-boyfriendal  sex (there are "rules").  Yes, I am a taken, taken man (the echo is intentional).

So after I leave the sauna, hard and horny from all the eye candy, I will probably shave, shower (jerk off?) and head to the beach to relax and bake in the sun.  Family time...
After a few pina coladas in the afternoon to cool me from the hot tropical sun, we'll shower, dress and head to a fine restaurant for a splendid dinner...and then a quiet night to relax..and wake up and do it all again.

Wish you were here. :)

Livin' La Vida Loca: Ricky Martin Gay!

Posted Mon Mar 29, 2010 2:48pm PDT by Access Hollywood in Stop The Presses!

NEW YORK, N.Y. -- After years of keeping quiet about his personal life, pop star Ricky Martin has announced that he is gay..

"I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man," Ricky said in a message posted on his offical Web site. "I am very blessed to be who I am.".

Ricky said writing his memoir and thinking about his two twin sons led him to go public..
"To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where [sic] born with. Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen 5 or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment," he wrote..

Though the 38-year-old kept his sexuality private throughout most of his career, Ricky said he drew strength from that time..

"These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed," he continued. "What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment. The word "happiness" takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.".

Earlier this month, Barbara Walters told The Toronto Star that her 2000 interview with the "Livin' La Vida Loca" singer, where she grilled him about coming out, was a misstep on her part..

"In 2000, I pushed Ricky Martin very hard to admit if he was gay or not, and the way he refused to do it made everyone decide that he was," she told The Toronto Star. "A lot of people say that destroyed his career, and when I think back on it now, I feel it was an inappropriate question.".

Ricky also Tweeted a link to his coming out announcement on his Web site, simply writing, "my life.".
In an earlier Tweet on Monday, the singer posted a quote attributed to the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr..

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. M.L.K.Jr.," he wrote.

***

A brave man..hot too!  Maybe this will encourage other gay/bi men to come out..me? I'm not quite so brave.

Another post coming up at 9am EST!

How Things Work

Someone asked how I am able to handle my discreet relationship with Ross while being married.  I thought I expanded on this a while back, but, I'll go over it again.

Ross and I work close by, both within 10 miles of each other.  We also, at one point, used to work out together every morning.  We were able to see each other in the mornings, work out, head to our respective jobs, maybe meet for lunch or an afternoon coffee, and/or meet after work for some personal time - not every day mind you..but maybe a few times a week.  Wasn't that hard since, we both have pretty flexible positions with our companies.  If we were able to work it around a lunch break, great..otherwise, if I hung out with Ross after work, maybe leaving a little early that day, we still got to spend some time together so I was able to be home in time for dinner with the family. It really wasn't so tough. Sometimes we go out for dinner one night, or on a weekend night...kinda just like I'm sure you do with your buddies, no?

As far as the during the day emails, or texts or IMs, well, again, I have my own office, which is pretty private.  Even if someone comes in, I can "click" and minimize the IM.  I do the same thing with my blog..camon, you're telling me if your boss walks by you can't minimize the Gap store website your on?

When I'm with my family, yea, I do text Ross..but, again, who isn't walking around with their phones all day?  Look on the city streets, people are always talking, texting etc...multitasking!,  It's not like Ross and I are constantly texting each other..through dinner, through the night..we have brief conversations, at appropriate and convenient times.  Ross and I know that sometimes, one of us may not be available..may be in the middle of dinner, or other thing that requires our undivided attention.  That's cool..so, we get back to each other when we can.

Anyway, I usually get to work well before anyone else and leave rather late on occasion, which allows me some time to write my blog entries.  Some days I am able to do a lot of blog work..some days, my work is too busy to even look online.  It's just a matter of budgeting my time, and multitasking.  I write a lot of my blog entries during my down times..when things are slower at work.  Sometimes, I have days, even weeks worth in storage..waiting to be published.  Sometimes, I come near close to having nothing to write..and coming up with a days posting that morning.  But, I'm a pretty good planner..and I'm organized and like to be well prepared.  Even when I'm going on vacation, I have plenty of blog entries ready and scheduled for publication so that you wouldn't be missing me!

Is it hard to balance the feelings I have with Ross with the feelings I have for my wife?  Suffice it to say that I have extremely strong feelings for Ross - feelings that once at least, made me question my place with my family at times. But, the stuff with my wife is a very complicated topic...I have been planning on talking about my relationship with my wife..but have resisted because it's very, very personal..very, very delicate and very, very complicated.  I also worry about revealing anything about that..for fear of blowing my cover on here, plus I really don't want to open up that part of my life for discussion and arguments.  While most of you, nearly all of you who read my blog are wonderful people and very supportive, some are downright nasty assholes.  I'm not interested in hearing from the assholes about my wife.  I also don't know if anyone is interested in hearing about my relationship with my wife. My wife and I are great parents, and I hope, for now to leave it at that.

My wife and kids, and even some of my friends, know Ross.  At first it was uncomfortable.  But, I've been away with him on many occasions on "work" related business.  My wife knows we used to work out together daily, that we have lunch or dinner on occasion...what? You telling me you don't have friends you hang out with? Sorry,  maybe you don't.  The fact that Ross is 20 years younger..well, we just hit it off....we're "friends" as far as anyone knows.


I will tell you this..if you don't know this by now, maybe because you haven't had the experiences yet, but you cannot emotionally or sexually compare a girl to a guy.  They are totally different, and for me, each plays a specific sexual and emotional function in my life.  It's like saying you want to compare Chinese food to Italian food.  Can you compare it?  No! They are totally different.  Compare Northern Italian to Southern Italian or Cantonese to Szechuan? Yes, that can be done, because each has specific intricacies and subtle differences.  But cock to pussy? Or kissing a man as compared to kissing a woman?  I don't think so.  It's like Pepperoni and Sushi..no comparison.

Get Involved: Directions

So, a few of you have asked me how to comment, how to be in touch with me..so here it is.  These are a few ways to be in touch with me.

COMMENTING:
1) On the upper right hand side of each post you will see a "Comment" link. Click it.
2) A window will open with that blog post and the comments already posted to that entry.  Scroll down to the "Post a Comment" link.  Click it.
3)  Again a new window will open.  Scroll down to "Leave Your Comment" box and type what you like. Choose your identity, a Google name, open ID, etc, or post it anonymously.
4) Click "Publish your Comment"
5) Your typed comment will appear, and you will need to enter the word verification thing..this prevents spam commenters.
6) Your comment will be published once I read and review it. ;)  I see all comments and I read them, and sometimes respond either in the blog or as a folow up comment.

I prefer commenting as it allows everyone to enjoy your thoughts and ideas..also adds some other perspective to my blog.  I have no problem approving comments that are different than mine.  I just have problems allowing mean or nasty comments to appear in my blog.  So, if you have something to say, and say it intelligently and nicely without being rude, you're comments will be approved.

CHAT BOX:
I have added a new chat box on the right side of the blog.  It pops out once you click on the blue arrow that is below the "Chat".  It's a pretty neat little widget..and I've had many conversations with some nice guys.  You can easily change your name in the chat  by going down to the "Guest" name in the lower left of the box and changing it.You can change it to your real first name or any user name you want..it doesn't have to be a real name.  Then type away in the chat box, and enter, and your chat will appear!  It's like AIM!

FOLLOW:
Is this a blog that you read daily? Let me know and other readers know that you are a fan. Go down to the "Follow" button in my blog right above the list of followers and below the "I Kiss Girls, I kiss Boys" picture. Click on the button and enter a Google name, etc or follow anonymously.  If you elected to follow the blog publicly, your profile picture will be displayed on the blog with a link to your Blogger profile.  I love to have followers..it makes me feel like people are really interested in reading my blog.

SUBSCRIBE:
You can subscribe to my blog via feeds or readers.  Click on  the blue reader button and you wil get your choice of subscription methods (yahoo, Google, blog lines, etc.).  You can also subscribe to Comments or Posts by click on the Subscribe to "All Comments" or "Posts" buttons located around my blog.

SHARE:
Share my blog on Face Book, by email, Twitter, Digg, My Space, Google and more! Click the share button  The more you share, the more readers I get, the more I feel like I'm doing some good!

WIDGET:
 At the end of the second column in my blog, there is a BILIKEME widget.  You can get this widget and post it on your blog or your web page simply by click on "Get Widget".

Hope that clears up the different methods of getting in touch and staying up to date on my blog.  I look forward to keeping my blog interesting and fun.

I'm a publicity whore, I know..help whore me out!

In the Beginning

A funny commercial..although some may find it offensive. I can't imagine some company actually having an advertising campaign like this!



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..and for those who don't believe that sexuality isn't a choice...

The "L" Word

I typically know what I like and if I like the person, I fall fast.  I have no problem using the "L" word..as in Love.  I've used it before..with Lance and definitely with Ross.

But this time has been different. I am trying to resist using the "L" word with Ross..I definitely feel it, look into his eyes and see it there..but, if I remember, the last time it was spoken first with Ross, I was the one to utter them.  At the time, he was shocked, said he felt it too, but was holding off on saying it because he was worried he would scare me away.

This time, we've taken things slowly..well as slow as we can go. We do have a history..most of it amazing, some pretty good..and a few bad moments. I have been trying to keep things at a reasonable pace..not smother him and allow us the room to breath,,,but it is hard.

The other day, I had just gotten into work and Ross IMed me saying come here.  I resisted for a minute. "Let's see each other later" I said. But later he had an appointment.  It's now..or not ever today.  OK, I headed out to his place, where we ended up hugging, kissing, and just touching and talking for the quickest hour and half of my life.

Ross and I can have an amazing time without either of us actually getting naked..no spilling of hormonal juices, if you know what I mean.  I've had some very hot times with him the last few weeks just laying close to him, making out..and simply talking..and kissing. Don't get me wrong, there's been plenty of sex too.  But, I'm feeling much more emotion between us. Don't know if that makes sense...it's like...when I feel him next to me..I know he's going to be there tomorrow too..and he knows I'm going to be there too.  There's no rush to have sex every time we see each other. Sometimes, being there with him is pleasure enough.

It's those times, when we're feeling close that I want to tell him how I'm feeling..that I'm feeling the love...but I also want him to say it first.  It may be stupid...but, I can almost feel like he wants to say it, but hasn't.

I feel we've gotten closer than we were when things were going well with us.  Emotionally, I think we're there.  But, the "L" word changes things..makes things complicated for some.  In actuality though, if we both feel it, it doesn't matters if we say it.

Hump Day: Shirts

Last Dance

A Mississippi school board has ruled that the prom will be canceled after a senior student requested to bring her girlfriend to the upcoming prom.  Also part of the request is that her date be allowed to wear a tuxedo — which violated the school dance policy.   Since the cancellation a campaign has begun to set-up private based prom for all the students to continue where the school left off.

The senior student is 18-years old Constance McMillen who petitioned her school to allow her to bring her same-sex date to the prom.  The ACLU issued a lawsuit challenge to the school.

The school board cancellation letter stated, “Due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events, the Itawamba County School District has decided to not host a prom at Itawamba Agricultural High School this year.”

The ALCU said  the school policy is a violation of her constitutional rights and “”It’s shameful and cowardly of the school district to have canceled the prom and to try to blame Constance, who’s only standing up for herself… We will fight tooth and nail for the prom to be reinstated for all students.  We’re working on an emergency motion it go before the court to get the prom reinstated so Constance can bring her girlfriend and everybody can be themselves.”

Liberty Counsel said in defense of the school, “There really aren’t that many cases on similar facts. Although the ACLU and a lot of the media has presumed they have this constitutional right that’s somehow well-established, I don’t think that’s really the case.  A school normally has a right to establish a dress code. They have a right to impose reasonable regulations in an event that the school itself is sponsoring, and they have a right to enforce reasonable regulations and restrictions on conduct.”

Legal action is being brought to reinstate the dance.

Together Forever

A sensational case involving two men who robbed and murdered a Tracy, California woman last summer came to a sudden end recently when the defendants accepted a sentence of life in prison without parole rather than go through a trial. Robert Morgan, 39, and his 24-year-old partner, Jorge, decided to accept the maximum sentence they faced rather than go through a trial in San Joaquin County Superior Court in the murder of 58-year-old Cynthia Ramos. Ramos was killed in her home where she was stabbed 55 times, bludgeoned and strangled.

This shocking story has a twist:  The two murderer's are legal domestic partners and consider themselves married to each other.  With the possibility of a death sentence hanging over their heads these two agreed to a life without parole.  The thought is that they did so, with the idea that they would be held in prison together..forever.

This letter was written by Cynthia Ramos' six children to state officers and law enforcement requesting Jorge and Robert Morgan be housed in separate prisons:


Dear Sir/Madam,

On behalf of my family, I, Christina Barnes, am writing this letter in reference to the two above named prisoners convicted of murdering our Mother. Under the provisions of Proposition 9, Marsy's Law, and the California Crime Victims Bill of Rights, we are formally requesting that the following information be included when the final decision and disposition of their permanent confinement is made. We also request a meeting with you, accompanied by our crime victims advocate, to be included in the decision making process. **Please reference Marsy's Bill, all items, specifically Items # 2, 7- 9, 11,12, 13A-13C, 16, **See also California Constitution Article I, Section 28. 1-7, 8 b, 1-10, and 12 regarding the rights of crime victims and due process.

We, the children of murder victim 58 year old Ms. Cindy Ramos are hereby presenting this written statement of facts before decisions of final placement are made. The above referenced convicts pled guilty to charges of 1st degree murder with special circumstances of committing a murder during a robbery. The two admitted to stabbing our mother over 55 times, strangling her with a rope, and bludgeoning her about her head and face 13 times. One of them gave 4 confessions to investigating officers admitting that they called our mother on the phone telling her they were going to bring her an early birthday present (this was confirmed by telephone records and a witness). They had her sit in a chair and close her eyes, under the premise that she was going to receive a necklace for her birthday. Instead, the necklace turned out to be a rope which was accompanied by a knife. The same knife that they brought with them into our mother's home, and later hid in their own home under a makeshift toilet, along with some of our mother's jewelry.

The two murderers admitted their conspiracy and not once showed any remorse for their actions. Instead they chose to harass, intimidate, taunt, imply threats and yell obscenities at us and our children through the entire judicial process. They further declined to make any apology after victim impact statements were read aloud in the court room at sentencing. They have on record clearly established a pattern of criminal behavior with violence and have also shown blatant disregard for the law and authority, proving how truly dangerous they are.

My family and I live in fear of our lives and the lives of our children. If the two prisoners are left together to conspire, they are capable of carrying out their evildoing's against us, either indirectly or through the hands of others. The likelihood of violence against us or others can only increase if the two are left in close enough proximity of each other to continue their conspiracies. Each day we wake with the fear of retaliation by these monsters and must live out the rest of our lives sentenced to such fear, accompanied by nightmares and many other after effects of homicide.

Further, the pair who are admitted homosexuals and claim to be married, have tried every angle possible to bide time together. One of them admitted giving their plea in hopes they would remain together as a married couple behind bars. In the earlier months, a Keep Separate From order was placed by the Sheriff's Department. The pair filed 3 motions to fight those very orders, all of which were DENIED. Somehow, they managed to find their way into living in the same cell together for a few days. Not only did this allow them the opportunity to continue their conspiracies, but they were also rewarded with preferential treatment as a gay 'married couple'. A heterosexual couple facing murder charges would not have the luxury of living in a cell with their partner. **Please see The California Constitution, Article 1, Section 31 on not granting preferential treatment on the basis of one's sex. Additionally, **please see the State of California Code of Regulations, Title 15 Article 1, Section 3007, whereby, inmates may not participate in illegal sexual acts, inmates may not consent to sex, and inmates must avoid deliberately putting themselves into a situation where this may occur. With that said, the State of California and CDCR also has a responsibility to avoid putting inmates in this very situation, as it had previously in their 3 day stay in the same cell.

Because of the rights given to us under the California Constitution, Victims Rights Laws, and Marsy's Law we demand that you use your authority and discretion wisely to separate these two violent murderers for Life. Under California Law, Penal Code 11191 we strongly urge that Jorge Morgan be transferred to an accepting out of State prison, such as, Arizona, Mississippi, Oklahoma, or Tennessee. If an out-of-state transfer is not an option, we request and demand that these two murderers be permanently assigned to two separate California prisons. Being housed together in the same Penitentiary will give them opportunity to continue the same type of conspiracies which landed them in the CDCR for Life Without the Possibility of Parole, and/or provide them with additional opportunities of manipulating their way into sexual situations together, which is prohibited by law. We implore you to use your wisdom and sound judgment when making your decisions on the fate of these two predators. It is your duty to make every effort to ensure our reasonable safety, and we are holding you to the higher standard of protecting us.

Again, I both urge and demand that you place our rights first and foremost according to California Constitutional Law. **Please see Marsy's Law Section 2.3. on reform for crime victims, Section 28. 8.,whereby it states that the laws must be amended as to protect the legitimate rights of the victims, and Section 7 which states that if these laws create conflicts with existing law, the law shall apply as to provide greater rights for the victims of crime. Please contact me at your earliest convenience to schedule a meeting regarding placement of these prisoners.

Respectfully yours,
Cindy Ramos' 6 Children
***

These two have done the ultimate deed against humanity..killing another.  Hopefully, they end up living a long, lonely life..alone and not together forever.

Oh Sunny Day!

The winter was horrible here in the Northeast.  Cold, damp, lots and lots of snow..rain. In general, I hate the winter..not, not even in general.  Winter sucks, period!

Last week, when the Northeast had all those terrible storms, we were without power and heat for 48 hours. The family spent the time huddled together around candles, playing games, talking, listening to the radio.  I explained how "things could be worse" -  we still have our home, can go out to dinner, and this inconvenience will be over in a day or two.  I was proud how my family stepped up..backed me up, and kept the "woe is me" out of the conversation.

When I think about it, I'm sure this winter was also personally worse for me, because of the emptiness of not having a boyfriend, namely Ross to hang with and warm up with on occasion.  My how things have changed!

• Weather-wise: The weather is beautiful here..getting warmer..in the high 50's and some days hitting near 60 or 70! Sun shining, snow melting..the dormant trees, flowers, bushes beginning to shed their coldness..

• Work-wise: I've had a few interviews..I see some interest..which is a start..I can afford to be picky since I am still employed.  No sense in jumping ship unless I get blown away.

• Relationship/Sex-wise: Things are amazing with Ross. We are seeing each other nearly every day. Keeping in touch, while keeping our space - to allow us to not get consumed with each other, putting too much pressure etc.

• Family-wise: Things are great. The frustration I felt last week, and even longer in my families needs and wants has blown over.  They are much more understanding of where we are financially and what we are able to do.  They also haven't been complaining about what we don't have. 

• R&R-wise: I am counting the days to our first family vacation in nearly 4 years. I plan on getting very, very tan (I can get nearly black), taking a day off from the gym then hitting it hard on vaca, relaxing in the spa and sipping a pina colada as we relax on the beach. Anyone jealous? ;)  (on a side note: don't worry, I plan on having posts on my vacation just like usual - when I get back  you will be filled in on the week away).

• Productivity wise: Since I've rekindled my relationship with Ross, I have not, not once, looked on CraigsList, MeatHunt, or any other site.  My obsession with internet sex has seemingly disappeared and I am planning, hoping it stays that way.  As some of you may know, the lure of those sites is incredible..and it sometimes it's addicting.

I feel like..a weight has been lifted..my outlook is much better. My personality, my being..is just much more positive.  It's amazing what a little sun and good sex will do!

Wanna Dance?

Maybe if we danced a little more...there wouldn't be all this horrible stuff going on around the world..and who wouldn't want to dance like this..

We're out There

In high school, Mike was the typical jock...a star athlete, prom king, popular with all the girls...an all around golden child from a Christian family. But that's where the stereotype ends. Mike realized several years ago that, for him, love knows no gender. He dates guys and girls, and is still questioning whether he's bi-sexual or gay. Mike comes to DC to be an environmentalist, but unexpectedly finds the inspiration to help advance marriage rights for gay and lesbian Americans. His sexuality has caused some tension back home, and it's his time in D.C. that will prove to be the turning point for him and his family in terms of accepting him for who he is.

This guy has got his proverbial shit together.  Seems smart..knows what he wants..brave as hell to come out to people on TV (MTV's Real World) as bi..and damn sexy!

 

Hump Day: Hands Up

The Smother's Brothers

The past week or so with Ross has been great. The all day multitasking at work as we IM during the day... The mid-day coffee breaks..the late afternoon rendezvous and then texting during the evening.  I've seen this movie, done this before...and it didn't end well.

The problem with Ross and I, so I thought, was that the pressure of having to be together got to him. He said he felt he wanted to see me so much that it took his mind off work, and when he wasn't able to devote enough time to me, he felt guilty.  I'm worried that we're headed down the same path.  He says he's different now, that he can handle the "pressure", but I'm not so sure.

Maybe it would be better to take things easy, not HAVE to see each other every day..or twice a day. I don't want to feel that his work is affected by our time together.  I don't want to smother him.  But, whenever I suggest we not meet for coffee, he says he's got time.  Soon after our 1 1/2 hour coffee break, we head back to work and he's asking me to stop by after. 

He's already asked me to go away with him..on the "business trips" we used to attend together.  I told him, I can't see how I could explain that again to my family.  Suddenly Ross is back, and I'm traveling again with him.

There are other good consequences of being with someone on a regular basis. I no longer have the desire to look online: CraigsList and the like, for anything.  Because I'm not perusing the web for sex, I have been more productive with my time at work too.

But, all this has happened so quickly..I don't regret it..I love it.  But I want him to love it too.

What's Your Penis Personality?

Can you look at someone and tell if their good or bad? I mean, you can walk down the street and get a "vibe" on someone, can't you? I sure can.  Likewise, you can look at a picture of someone and have a whole determination of whether you will click or not with that person.

We all do it: looking at pictures of guys and making a judgment about them just on one pic. Lots of these guys don't post pictures of their faces, for obvious reasons.  They just post body pics, or cock shots.  What someone chooses to wear in one of those pics says a lot about someone.  If I see a guy in a leather harness, I obviously have an impression, true or not, about what that person is like, what he likes sexually.

But, I think I somehow have the mysterious and magical ability to look at someone's penis and determine exactly what that person is like. I see a big, veiny, bulbous cock..I'm thinking this guys a rough fucker. Likes it good and hard. Maybe into leather, chains, whips, toys...It turns me off immediately.

Then, I can look at someone else, and see his smooth, pink cock and fall in love. It's cute, he must be loving, nice, kind..gentle and just my type!

A cut cock connotes one impression on me..an uncut cock quite another.  Dress your penis up with a cock ring, or with assorted jewelry, and I may think your a bit freaky. Trim the bush and shave the balls and I might think your a neat freak, tidy..have a full blown cock fro and hairy balls, and I might think your a hippie or unkempt....

I'm amazing that way! I can look at your cock and tell you what you like and dislike and certainly if I am into you. Of course, I'd prefer some more to go on, like some body pics and even a (gulp) face pic.  But, if it's just a cock shot? Well, that can work too.

I'm thinking of opening a sexually explicit circus and being the head of the "guess my personality" booth, like the guess my age and weight booths they normally have. Let me prove it..send me a cock shot..and I can tell you what you like :).


What's your penis personality?

Be Safe

Just a friendly public service announcement to my readers...




please be safe.

Male Bag: Little Boxes

Here's today's mail:

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So,

I think I've been reading your blog since you started writing it, though I hadn't checked that fact until now when I decided to look at your profile (I mostly read through RSS). I think it's finally time that I have to say something.

As a bisexual man myself, I don't understand why you would decide to label yourself gay, unless you've actually realized that you prefer having sex with men more than your wife. There's no reason -- especially since the short-sided understanding of bisexuality comes from all sides -- that you should ever have to make such a distinction. Bisexual is enough isn't it? I mean, if that's ACTUALLY how you feel (as I do), then no one else needs to draw that distinction for you or make you take a label you don't want. I have, in my own desperation about the lack of intelligence on the subject, accepted gay as a term for me in some cases -- but only because I didn't want to spend the time on the bi conversation. Still, my boyfriend of 4 years and I have had conversations about my attraction to women, and the fact that he can't fulfill that desire -- which has lead into the discussion of threesomes or other ways to handle that part of myself.

Really, all this leads up to my discomfort with the fact that -- in your most recent post -- you take a homosexual label in the same breath as stating that you will continue to maintain the adulterous nature of your gay relationships. Doesn't that desecrate the oath you took with your wife while severely limiting the possibilities of your other relationships. Please excuse the severity of that last sentence, but I think the only part that really bothers me is the deceitful way you have your life arranged. I mean, I would love to have a similar kind of duplicity, but I don't think I would ever do it without asking for it as valid part of my sexuality. If your wife really loves you, then she should understand who you are -- if she doesn't, then you're really just playing house instead of being man and wife.
Please understand, I mean no disrespect, because I'm probably dealing with similar issues as you, though in my case, my community knows I'm bisexual (whether they understand it or not). Still, I have to battle the same conflicts within the confines of a monogamous relationship and the permanence of the next step I might be taking soon. Just felt like reaching out. Thoughts?

Tristan

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Tristan:

My post last week, declaring that I was gay, was in fact, made sarcastically.  I do have troubles with labeling people as gay/straight/bisexual/democratic/republican and the like.  Most people do not fit into little boxes, whether it applies to the foods you like to eat, the politics you support or your sexuality.  I am no different.  Sometimes I'm in the mood for seafood, sometimes I'm craving a hot-dog (not sure if that is related to the food subject or the sexuality subject--suppose its both).

I wonder why it is so important for the general population to compartmentalize people. In politics, I do not know many people who are completely republican in their thoughts or completely democratic. Things certainly would run much better in the United States if there wasn't such partisanship.

I can certainly appreciate the female body, although I am not one to leer at a pretty girl walking by, whistling and howling; however, while I may not howl or whistle at a sexy guy who walks by, I certainly feel that I would take much more notice of him.  I often wonder if the fact that I am married is the reason why I take less notice of women - back to the food analogy: If you eat steak every meal, when you finally get something different, i.e., seafood, does it not become more appetizing, just because it's a change of pace from the normal?

Deceit is an inevitable part of a life lived the way I do.  I am married, with children...and have decided that my children's well-being requires that I be an active, "normal" and conventional family.  Of course, I could come out to my family.  I imagine it would require some time of upheaval and disturbance in my children's lives and probably to our relationships.

If I asked you "if you had the choice would you want your children be gay?" I can't imagine anyone choosing a life for their children that is filled with controversy, ridicule not to mention the scorn and jokes of others. That is why the belief that being attracted to men is a choice doesn't hold water.  Who would choose that?  We cannot choose whether our children are gay or straight.  If the question is: "would you care if your children are gay?" it would elicit quite a different answer.

Simply, I do not want to subject my family to the controversy, ridicule, scorn and jokes as a result of me deciding to declare my true sexuality, be it gay or bisexual.  I may get a gold star for my decision, but I know ultimately I may fail the final exam.

Hump Day: Hairy

You think it's easy being me?  Someone requested guys with hairy chests.  Not my cup of tea..but, I'm here to serve my constituents (with some limitations).

Here you go..not an easy bunch of pics to find online.  I think body hair is dead. Thank god!

I'm glad we got that out of our system. Tomorrow..hairless beauties again! ;)

The Damn Joneses!

I remember when I was a kid, yea, I wanted things..I wore my older brother's hand-me-downs.  My mother shopped in thrift stores, and often, took me along, where I was embarrassed going in or coming out for fear that I would be seen. When I wanted a new bike, I got my brother's old bike, spray painted black with a new horn. I didn't get a TV in my room until I graduated college.  Everyone had more than we did..I always felt inferior to them.  My parents both worked, earned an honest, if not, lower-middle class income-- but I survived.

Now, my family's is quite different. My kids have all the brand names: Nike, And1, Adidas, Levis, North Face..shit..I didn't own my first Adidas sneakers until I was married! My wife, she didn't work much until recently..and now she just works a few hours a day at a job she can come home from and still talk about with a smile on her face.  How many of us can say that?.  Otherwise, she spends her day caring for our great kids, taking care of our home (which she does stupendously I might add), and spending time with her friends. A nice low stress life, I'd say.

Recently, my business has taken a hit...and we've had to make sacrifices.  It's been about 4 years since we've been on vacation as a family..and I mean, on a plane..somewhere nice and warm.  But previously, my kids have been to a few Caribbean spots, Florida and Disney a few times..not too shabby.  We've  recently planned a vacation for the family coming up in the next few months..and we're all very excited.

But, it really pissed me off when I hear my wife talking..yes, complaining to other people about how we don't go to restaurants weekly..how we don't have a cleaning woman anymore, how making ends meet hasn't been exactly easy sometimes.  My kids constantly complain how they want a flat screen TV..in their rooms no less (we don't even have one in the family room yet).  When any new gadget comes out, their "jonesing" for it..IPods, IPhones, laptops..it's fucking sickening!  They are the epitome of the throw away society..using paper plates, plastic cups, napkins...all to a gluttonous and unnecessary excess.

Not only does the waste annoy me and obviously doesn't bode well for our chances of a "going green" award..but frankly, it makes me think that my wife and kids are spoiled and makes me feel inadequate. Things that we once took for granted are no longer an easy decision. Gadgetry that others have, we have to do without...but, while I have accepted the change, my family regrets it, damn, they nearly obsess over it.

It makes me want to drive my family for a little "trip:"  See some sick kids in a hospital..see people who have lost their homes in a hurricane in Haiti, Louisiana, see the homeless in shelters who can't find a meal at home..much less a home to eat in.

We all saw The Blind Side recently.  It's a fabulous movie. Michael Oher, a homeless African-American youngster from a broken home, is taken in by the Touhys, a well-to-do white family who help him fulfill his potential. In one scene, Sandra Bullock's character shows Michael his modestly furnished bedroom and a bed where she has graciously allowed him to sleep.  Michael shows his emotion and Sandra asks what's wrong. "I never had this before, " he says. "What? a room for yourself?", says Sandra's character. "No, a bed", he responds.  It left a lump in my throat.  We all talked about it after..and my kids understood that not everyone has what we have.

My kids aren't spoiled..I know that.  Do they have more than I had at their age? Certainly..but, to punish them because I am able to provide better than my parents in order to teach them a lesson would be cruel. But, I want them to understand that there are people who amazingly don't have even what we have..We live in a very nice neighborhood, have a full refrigerator every week, eat well, have our health, everyone dresses very well and we have heat, air conditioning, light..everything we could possibly need.

We can all do with more.  I certainly wish I could provide more for my family.  Would I buy them that flat screen TV for their rooms? Definitely not.  That's not how I think a family stays a family, with everyone watching TV in different rooms of the house.



I just want to see some appreciation for the things we have..not hear the disappointment for what we don't.

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UPDATE:

Well, I did have that talk..not exactly the calm, low voice understanding chat I had planned.  After some new complaints I just blew a gasket on my son.  I yelled, as parents often do, and explained to him that we don't have it so bad..that things could be lots worse.  There are people who are less fortunate than us...He understood and then we were able to have a normal conversation on the subject..

The next day I had the same screaming match with my wife.  Again, I was set off by some comment about a flat screen TV that we needed according to her..

"Listen, how would you like it if every day YOU came home from work, I told you we needed something...that YOU working wasn't cutting it.  How we don't have enough..how we're underprivileged..Well, I imagine you wouldn't like it very much.  Think how I feel..I work every day.  I make a decent living.  We live in a beautiful neighborhood, have an amazing house with almost all new furniture.  We have two perfectly good cars..plenty of clothes and lots of food."

"We could have more..but, there are certainly people with less.  I am sick of hearing what we don't have and if you aren't happy with the living I am making there's one answer..go out and work yourself.  Work 5 days a week, and bring home some money to supplement what I have.  Give up staying at home with the kids, taking care of the house, seeing your friends, and spending time shopping.  I am more than happy to allow you to do so.  And I promise...I will never say to you that what you bring home in your paycheck isn't enough for me, isn't adequate because I know how hurtful that is.".
And that was the end of it.  Since then..I haven't heard a peep about what we don't have.  As a matter of fact, I've seen them start to say something and take it back, or look at each other realizing what they have said is wrong.

I think...I think I've actually gotten my point across.