Medical Visit

I found this video amusing. You have to watch it a little to see what happens...







It's funny how when the guy thinks the girl is flirting with him, it's OK, but when he finds out its the guy, its damn inappropriate! lol

Male Bag: DADT

 A very interesting perspective on the Don't Ask, Don't Tell Policy.

 ***

Hello,

I know you place tremendous value on your time so I'll be brief.  I am an Iraq war veteran and I would like to submit the following article for you to use on your website so that people can hear a real veterans view of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

best,

Michael
[Title] Don’t ask…ahh…too late.

My name is Michael Anthony,  I am an Iraq war veteran and having spent six years in the Army, at the age of twenty-three, I have spent more than a quarter of my life in service to this country.  I have four older brothers and an older sister, all of whom have been in the military: Air Force, Marines and Army.  My father and both my grandfathers were in the military.

Hailing originally for a small sheltered town just south of Boston Massachusetts, I say this in all earnestness: the only gay people I know have all been in the military.  This is not a joke or some talking point, it’s literal.  Generals, Commanders and Civilians can talk all they want, but the fact of the matter is, the only gay friends I've had have all been in the military, in fact, my only experience of gay people(outside of the military) is when I once watched and episode of the TV show Will and Grace (it was kind of funny).

For the policy known as DADT, there is one thing people often forget.  People forget that the policy doesn’t preclude gay people from entering the military it just precludes them from talking about their homosexuality.  In short, someone can be gay in the military; they just can’t talk about being gay in the military.

If people are already in the military and gay—from my former unit alone I know close to a dozen—what is it that people are afraid will happen with the repeal of DADT?  Are people afraid that the day after DADT is rescinded; gay soldiers are going to walk in wearing a feather boa and buttless fatigues?  The uniform policy will still be in effect so we can cross that option out.  Are people afraid that it’s going to hurt troop morale?   The Military suicide rate is at a thirty year high having consistently risen for the past five years, with eighteen veterans killing themselves everyday (according to the VA) so it seems like it can’t get any worse.
With everything said, there is a negative aspect to repealing DADT.  Having been in the military all my adult years, my peer group is filled with Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans.  Several of these war veterans having done two or three tours, have sworn that they will never go back to Iraq or Afghanistan.  Upon further questioning on how they plan to get out deployment if called, their answer is simple: “don’t ask, don’t tell,” expounding further, they say that if they’re called up, they will simply kiss a member of the same sex—in front of their commander.  So how is repealing DADT going to affect the military?  The answer is simple…my friends who jokingly suggested using DADT as a way to get out of a deployment are now stuck going to Iraq or Afghanistan.

And please don’t even get me started on the escapades that go on overseas.  But hey, what happens in Iraq stays in Iraq…ahh not quite.

[Bio] Michael Anthony is the author of MASS CASUALTIES: A Young Medic’s True Story of Death, Deception and Dishonor in Iraq (Adams Media, October 2009). The book is drawn from the personal journals of Anthony during the 1st year he spent serving in Iraq. It is a non-partisan look at some of the escapades that go on behind the scenes, from suicides, mail fraud, attempted murder, to gang bangs, orgies, and PTSD.
http://www.masscasualties.com/anthony-praise.htm

***

Anyone thinking of running to their nearest recruiting office to sign up?  Who knew that all the guys into other guys are in the services?  That explains the lack of good looking, in shape, masculine guys where I'm looking!

Hump Day

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Now, despite these symptoms and side effects, anyone interested in a prescription? I am!

The Bucket List

I've never seen the movie..but I can grasp the concept for sure.

You know the story, two guys wrapped up in their busy lives. Too busy to appreciate the things in life that matter--things they promised they would do before they die. Then life delivers an urgent and unexpected wake-up call to both of them. Carter and Edward find themselves sharing a hospital room with plenty of time to think about what might happen next--and about how much of that was in their hands. They discover that they have an unrealized need to come to terms with who they were and the choices they'd made, and a pressing desire to spend the time they had left doing everything they ever wanted to do.

So, against doctor's orders and all good sense, these two virtual strangers check themselves out of the hospital and hit the road together for the adventure of a lifetime--from the Taj Mahal to the Serengeti, the finest restaurants to the seediest tattoo parlors, the cockpit of vintage race cars to the open door of a prop plane--with just a sheet of paper and their passion for life to guide them. Adding and crossing items off their list while taking in the grandeur and beauty of the world, they grapple with the difficult questions and the even more difficult answers that plague all of us.

It got me to thinking..what's my Bucket List? At initial thought I would love to be financially secure..able to buy the things I would want without thinking. Simple right? So, here it is:

BUCKET LIST #1:
     1) financially secure..no, make that stinking, messy, disgustingly, filthy fuckin rich!
     2) buy a huge house, one that people see and it leaves them speechless with all the most advanced gadgetry, i.e., "Cribs-like"
     3) have some amazingly beautiful cars...
 
Yea, yea..sounds really nice..but would that make me happy? I have doubts....

So I was again deep in thought...
I have a good job..used to be better..could be much better..and career certainly makes people important, builds character, makes people satisfied..

BUCKET LIST #2:
     1) an amazing career..one that is obviously lucrative, but also keeps me interested, and has prestige and influence
     2) a job that puts me in the public eye, could be political or even something like a college professor...I love kids, love teaching..
     3) a position that has me running things of importance..where I am managing people..because I believe that's where I excel

but, upon thinking..would a career be something I need to do before I die..something I need to accomplish? hmmm..helping people..that's a good theme...

BUCKET LIST #3:
     1)  help the unfortunate..work with people who need assistance, who are struggling to survive..
     2)  I could be a doctor, or better still, work with Habitat for Humanity, or HRC, or go to some foreign land..Africa, Haiti...
     3) travel around the world..that's exciting, no?

eh...I'm still not convinced...my bucket list while it should make others happy, really needs to be about me.  What do I want in my life?  What will make me feel like I've accomplished all I could accomplish?

I know..what's the most important thing?  What's the thing I want most out of life? I should be a little selfish here..after all, this is my dying wish, the thing I've always wanted...

BUCKET LIST #4
I want to be able to wake in the morning with the inspiration to get up and start another amazing day.  I want to be able to begin my day, free of guilt, anticipation of stress, or the thought that I may act in a way that would embarrass or disappoint others.  I would love that my feelings are acknowledged, appreciated, and empathized in the eyes of the people that surround me.  I want to be liked, loved, admired and honored in the same way that I wish to like, love, admire and honor another.  I need the closeness of a person's hug, caress, kiss, and touch..a person that understands and is comfortable with the mutual feelings that I have for them.  I want to be able lay my head down, next to that special someone at the end of the day with the comfort that when I open my eyes again, I only have good things to anticipate and to wake up to.
There is no list.  There's just the one:

I want to be happy.

Valid Points

 The guy in the video below makes some very valid points.



I never thought that wondering if someone was the "guy" or "girl" in a gay relationship was a bad thing, but apparently it is.  If two males are together, they are both men..neither is the "girl".  When we are asking who is the girl, I assume we are inquiring if he is a bottom.  But, what we are really determining is who plays the submissive role in the relationship and would you ask you're straight friends that?  "Bob, Mary, I was wondering, who is the aggressive person in bed?"  A little weird, huh?

Also, this guy promotes my thoughts on bisexuality and the reaction of some gay guys that bisexuality is really someone's stop on the way to being gay. If being gay is not a choice, then why should bisexuality be one? Yes, a bisexual person may in fact, end up in a relationship with another man, but that doesn't mean he was predisposed to end up there.  He could have easily ended up with a girl in a relationship.  Nobody is able to get inside the head of someone to determine their attractiveness level to the opposite and same sex. Look at someone like Ann Heche: she had many relationships with men, and was married. Then she met and fell in love with Ellen DeGeneres.  After that relationship ended, she met and married one man, and divorced him when she met another.

Now, her terrible relationship history aside, she seems to be the epitome of a bisexual person.  Her gender attraction is not absolute.  It is one of choice.

Male Bag: A Reader Needs Help

Here is a letter I received from a reader..asking for some advice..

 *****

Hello,

First of all, I'd like to thank you for publishing your blog. It's comforting to know that someone out there understands the trials and tribulations of being bisexual.

I'm writing because I need some honest advice from an experienced bisexual person.

I am a masculine 45 years old male who has been living as a heterosexual my entire adult life. However, there has always been a bi-curious side to my personality that I have never shared with anyone. Even though my bisexual tendencies are evident to me, I have never acted upon those feelings with another person. Lately, my curiosity has been getting the better of me. I have started visiting male social networking sites and in some cases establishing profiles on those sites in hopes of forming friendships with other bisexual men.   

What I have encountered are mostly gay men who are extremely aggressive. They want facial pictures and in-person meetings immediately! This makes me extremely uncomfortable because I am still trying to come to terms with my own sexuality. I am not used to people being so sexually forward with me especially not people of the same sex. While some people deem Bisexuality as being hip, I am particularly nervous about exposing myself to anyone. 

Ultimately, I'd like to have a bisexual encounter if for no other reason than to see what the experience would be like. However, I am extremely nervous and uncomfortable at the thought of having sex with another guy. I am afraid of how I will feel about myself afterwards, among other things. I could use some advice on how to quell this apprehension. Or, could it simply be that I'm just not ready to fully explore that side of my personality. I am so confused! What advice can you give?

John 

*****

John:

As you will discover, the online gay/bisexual world works quite a bit differently than the straight bar scene world. You can walk into a bar and if you get the guts to approach a female, buy a drink, get her number, at least you don't usually think "god this girl's extremely aggressive and sexually forward."  At least not the one's you normally want to bring home to Mom.  Most girls are just not wired that way.

But in the same-sex online department, guys are guys, to a fault.  You'll find all kinds of course, but guys are aggressive individuals for the most part.  They also are driven by the little head rather than the big one (and even if they use their big head, is there anything in it?).

It is indeed a sad environment and state of affairs for someone, like myself, who is looking for a serious, emotional relationship.  Let's just say it: most guys want sex, and nothing else! (God, did I just sound like a girl?)

Well, how can you avoid that trap?  First off, I don't know if you're married not not, and it doesn't really matter...I guess the advice I can give you is, if you're looking to test the waters, so to speak, you need to find someone who is willing to do exactly that.  Hey, if guys can post ads online and say they want to have bareback sex, use toys, spit, chains, shit, and have you treat them like a slave, I think it's OK to say you're only willing to jerk off- just be up-front.  You're a big boy, and nobody is going to force you to do anything you don't want to do.

Pictures? Yea, that's a necessary evil.  But, I wouldn't give anyone a face picture if you're not comfortable.  Eventually, after posting a body pic, and chatting with someone, hopefully someone could meet for a cup of coffee. or something to see that your not a troll (unless you ARE a troll, then they'd be meeting to confirm you ARE a troll).

Yea, having sex with another man can be nerve racking in our situation..especially the first time. The first time I was with another guy, I was wrought with guilt.  What was I doing? 

So, go slow, again, be honest and in control as to what you're willing to do, and find someone who seems like they are somewhat sympathetic to your cause.

Good Luck!
BLM

Any other thoughts?

Hump Day

Great Scott!

If you haven't heard yet, the world has gone crazy.

At 10:00 AM on May 12, as he entered his church in Wichita, Kansas, George Tiller was shot dead.  A short while later, deputies stopped Scott Roeder.   He surrendered without incident. Deputies did not find any weapons on him, but  defiant and unapologetic, the man accused of shooting Mr. Tiller confessed to the slaying telling The Associated Press that he killed the doctor to protect unborn children.

The Wichita doctor is one of the few doctors nationwide who performs late-term abortions at his clinic, Women’s Health Care Services and apparently, this is not the first time he had been targeted by anti-abortion groups. 

Protesters blockaded Tiller's clinic during Operation Rescue's "Summer of Mercy" protests in 1991 and in 1993, Tiller was shot in the arms by protester Rachelle Shannon.  More recently, his clinic was vandalized. Vandals cut wires to outdoor lights and surveillance cameras. They also sliced a hole in the roof and plugged downspouts. Rain then poured into the clinic causing thousands of dollars of damage. Tiller reportedly asked the FBI to investigate the incident.
 
Scott Roeder is charged with one count of first-degree murder in Tiller's death and two counts of aggravated assault for allegedly threatening two ushers who tried to stop him during the May 31 melee in the foyer of the doctor's church. Roeder has pleaded not guilty and is scheduled to go to trial in January.  But, the story itself, while odd, does not compare to the apparent defense that will be put forth in this case. 

A Kansas judge will begin hearing motions today about whether or not to allow the killer of an abortion doctor to present a "necessity defense," claiming that it was necessary to kill the physician to save fetuses. The prosecution has filed a motion to block Roeder's planned defense. He's scheduled to go on trial next month.

"Because of the fact pre-born children's lives were in imminent danger this was the action I chose. ... I want to make sure that the focus is, of course, obviously on the pre-born children and the necessity to defend them," Roeder said.

"Defending innocent life — that is what prompted me. It is pretty simple," he said.

Should the judge allow such a defense, it will certainly be setting bad precedent.  What would be next? Killing candy store owners because they sell candy and promote child-hood obesity?  Gunning down fast-food establishments because of their link to high cholesterol?   Murdering soda and juice manufacturer's because of their propensity to promote tooth decay?  I jest, but obviously there are other people and beliefs that a crazy person may find reason to hate and act to "defend innocent life." (gay, bi, black, Jewish....the list goes on)
It seems that there is a solution..if you object to high calorie foods, unhealthy restaurants or high sugar content items, please..just don't use them,.  If you are against gays, Jews, blacks, Islam, abortion..use your constitutional right to protest, nonviolently.   But, let everyone else be the judge of what is best for them and how they wish to live.

For someone who is so religious to commit a crime that is against the basic cannons of his beliefs is the ultimate idiom.

Ex Ex Ex, Oh Oh Uh-Oh

I admit it...I have no hope.  There is no cure.

I went to a "Wellness Center" that I have been at before.  They have a gym, some jacuzzi, steam rooms, sauna, and some great, healthy food. I go there whenever I feel fat and want to sweat out some poundage, or just to relax, or when I'm feeling horny and want to see some cock :).

This time, I walked in, took in the steam room, then headed to a jacuzzi to relax. About an hour into my stay, a guy walked into the area and strolled directly into my jacuzzi and sat down. He was about 5'9" very lean, in shape, had a very smooth body, a nice thick, cut cock and a kickin ass -- not that I was looking or anything.

We kinda sat at right angles in the tub.  I sat with my legs straight and so did he.  We made some small talk about the center and the cleanliness of it and then I pretty much closed my eyes and relaxed.  Suddenly, I felt what I thought were the slight brushes of his feet on my leg..not like a kick..but just his toes touching me ever so lightly.  I thought maybe it was just the water jets pushing the hair on my legs and after I  opened my eyes, I just closed them again to continue to relax.

After a few more brushes, I realized that this guy was obviously attempting to make some kind of contact with me. I opened my eyes, and engaged him in some more small talk, then we introduced each other and shook hands.  His fingers seemed to lag for a long time on the completion of our handshake.  It was obviously on.

Well, we pretty much hung out the next few hours together and I got to know him. We swapped email addresses - despite his insistence we exchange numbers - I resisted.  Ya never can be too careful in my situation.

I emailed him immediately after I left, saying it was nice to meet him and hope to chat with him soon.  I then got a return  email the next day saying he had an amazing time, and how we have to make plans to meet up. He signed his email with his name, then "XXXOOO".

After a few more days, and numerous emails back and forth, most with his familiar, yet inappropriate signature, I accepted his offer to come to his place to hang out.  I got there and although he was dressed this time, he was as cute as I remember.  We headed to his room, where he grabbed me and kissed me..and held me close. We soon ended up getting undressed, and started making out.  He sucked me off (requested I do the same, but I resisted) and then he turned over to reveal that back and amazing ass.  I'm a sucker for a smooth, hot ass.

Since we had previously discussed my requirement of safe sex, he opened his draw, pulled out a condom and a packet of lube (handy dandy packaging!).  I put on the condom as he lubed his ass and then he begged me to fuck him.  Who am I to say no?!
He was really tight..he said he hadn't been fucked in a long time...well..that's not exactly what he said..he said "I have not had someone make love to me for a very long time, and I've been looking forward to making love to you."

Now, I'm one to fall fast..well, pretty fast.  I know when I am attracted to a guy, or just simply attracted to a guy or could fall for a guy in a big way.  This guy was cute, hot, nice body..very nice..clean..but in love? I don't think so...  Was his use of "love" his way of demonstrating his feelings toward me or the verb of love-making aka fucking?  I don't really say "let's make love."

Anyway, we did make lo--uh, fuck...and he was very nice.  I sent him a quick email after I left saying I had a great time, thanks for having me over...

But I am wondering if his X's and O's are just his personality or a warning....

Love is in the Air

Just want to show some love to people who've  helped me in the past with my blog, some of my ardent readers and all my friends on here.

In no particular order,  I want to recognize Sethboyardee, Mirrorboy, daninokc, Smuttystuff,  Uncutplus, Go Left At the Fork, Hawttwinks, Adonisrising, Formysake,  dazegonebi, Artistry of Male and aboutaboyandhisbriefs for guiding me when I was new, and tolerating my questions about blogging, or in general providing me great inspiration and reading material.

As for readers, this love fest wouldn't be complete unless I thanked you..Woofman, Wally (my man down under), Skinny Littledipper, Micky, Carson, Hope, Andrew, Dave, jlo, Kipp, Borg Queen (yes even you), Carson, Tom, Jarrod, Lez Hard, Jim, Kevin, Chuck, The Lion Queen, boibuff, Tony, ..and so many others who comment and all the Anonymous commenters that have viewed and added to my blog over the short time I have been here.

I would have stopped blogging long ago if it wasn't for all the support that I have received.

I send lots of Love your way on this Valentine's Day, and every day!.

Thanks again!

Much love,
BLM

Signs of Male Bisexuality

Tiger's Problem

My post about Tiger Wood's addiction received quite a lot of comments.  So, I've let a few days go by to hopefully, let cooler heads prevail.

I got into a little war of the words with a reader.  That reader said I know nothing of addiction.  This is true.  I don't.  Thankfully, I have never been in a rehab facility, but I do believe that I am somewhat addicted to sex, but, yes, that does not make me an expert.  It does, however, allow me to state my opinion based on my experience.  Hell, I'm allowed to state my opinion, just because it's my blog!  I don't need to be an expert at anything!

He also said that "There are true bisexuals in the world. The owner of this blog isn't one of them."  Are you bisexual, or you a sex therapist that is an expert at bisexuality?  Because, based on your presumption that only "Experts" have the right to comment, you've broken you're own rules.  Now, I understand that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and to voice their opinions.  That's why I posted your comment (even though the right to voice your opinion doesn't give you the right to voice it on my blog-this is a dictatorship here.  Only I get to decide who is permitted a voice).

But, my true confusion lies in your comment that me being married and having sex with women does not make me bisexual. What is the determination of bisexuality then?

Basically, I've determined Tiger Wood's problem: it isn't that he's a sex addict.  I give you Derek Jeter, famous Yankee shortstop and until recently a long time ladies man and confirmed bachelor.   He recently announced his intent to marry his current girlfriend.

These are just a few of the women that Derek Jeter, beloved New York sport's star has been linked with:

Vanessa Minnillo

Rachel Uchitel

Minka Kelly

Gabrielle Union

Jessica Biel

Vida Guerra

Jessica Alba

Jordana Brewster

Mariah Carey

Scarlett Johansson

Adriana Lima

Joy Enriquez

Lara Dutta

Bridget Hall

Cassia Riley

Now, I'm not a sexual addiction expert...but, all those women...I guess the public doesn't think King Derek has a problem.  You never hear about his "sex problems"

What's Tiger's REAL problem?  Same that will affect Derek.  It's not that he's addicted to sex.  It's that he's married.  ;)

Hump Day

Cute Guy Alert!

I work in a small office building, and even though there are four floors, I hardly see anyone during the day that works in the building other than the revoltingly unattractive people that work in my office.

Today, I walked to the hallway to take a pee, and noticed that there was a new guy in the office next door, obviously getting trained by the person who works there.  The guy that works there, looks cute, but, even though he has a fabulous view of the hallway bathroom from his office desk (talk about luck! lol) he has never ventured in while I was doing my proverbial duty, so I am guessing, he has no interest or is not into guys.  Fine and well...

But this new guy..dark hair, light eyes, seemed very cute.  I like new blood...a new face at the gym, a new post man, someone knew at Starbucks.. Ya never know.

Some readers have asked, what's going on with the guys I write about on here..so a quickie.. as in an update:

1) Ross: I speak to him occasionally, via IM online. Usual chit chat..nothing hot and heavy, unfortunately
2) Lance: We've corresponded via email..he's been traveling
3) Jessie:  Other than a few cordial texts, we've kinda let things be. and I think its for the best.
4) Frenchie:  I see him online, we chat, but other than that, nada.  He's either too busy or not interested (altho he says he is). again, having him or ANYONE! as a fbuddy would be great at this point!

But I'm keeping my hope up!

Vacation in My Mind

God, I need a vacation!  It's been cold, snowy or rainy here in the Northeast and I hate it!  I need to shake and bake on the white sands of the Caribbean.  I've been researching a vacation, but everything is so expensive (or maybe I'm so poor/cheap).

I was thinking of revisiting one of the Caribbean Islands I went to a few years ago.  We went to this amazing resort, beautiful accommodations, amazing pool and beach.  I also remember they had a great gym and an even better Steam Room/Sauna area.  I walked into the men's locker room and it was just so inviting. I then opened the door to the sauna area, and saw what I still think is the best and most relaxing spa area I have ever seen.

I can picture it in my mind: to the right were the individual showers..I think about eight, four facing another four, each with curtains, and then a small dry area to undress and then a small shower with nice smelling body wash, shampoo and conditioner.  To the left was a big round jacuzzi tub and above it was a huge cascading waterfall.  As you stood in the jacuzzi, the hot water dropped down on you and massaged your back. Simply amazing.


Further in was a pretty big sauna.  I spent many days there, working out in the gym, and then deciding to make it my evening activity, relaxing in the jacuzzi, sauna, and then shaving and showering before heading to dinner.  For some reason, this paradise was hardly used by anyone.  Most days, I never saw another person there.  On one day, I remember sweating it up in the gym and garnering the attention of the gym attendant.  He made some small talk, and took glances while I worked out, but that was all.

I headed back to the sauna, and sweated some more. Then to the jacuzzi and the waterfall.  As I stood there naked, the water pummeled my back, I was knee deep in the churning water. Suddenly the door opened, and there appeared the gym attendant bringing towels into the wicker baskets standing in the locker room.  He was tall, lean, white guy, and if I remember correctly, pretty handsome, probably in his 30's.

I stood there, enjoying the water and he motioned to me as he held a towel, I nodded and he brought two towels over to the side and placed them down so that when I walked out I would have them at my disposal, and smiled and walked away.  I stayed there for a few minutes and then headed to the showers.  I noticed the gym guy doing his chores around the locker room.   Refilling soaps, towels, emptying baskets, and then, getting on his hands and knees as he wiped the floor.

I went into my shower stall, closed the curtain and began to unpack my gym bag and to prepare my clothes for when I was done. The gym guy continued to wipe the floors and now moved near the showers. I knew this was no coincidence.  I then noticed he was right outside my shower stall, wiping away.  I could see him coming closer and closer to my shower curtain, as it didn't go all the way to the ground. I pulled open a corner of the curtain and saw him right below me and he looked up, and stood on his knees and took my already hard cock into his mouth and began sucking me.

I was worried that someone would walk in, but, as usual there was no one to be found.  He continued to suck me until I blew my load in his mouth.  He then smiled, said "I hope you had a good workout" and finished cleaning the area as I stepped into the shower and cleaned up.  I walked out and he was gone.
I never did see him again....but it was a hot experience.

Boy do I need a vacation!

Football Can Be Fun

Just

It's amazing..watching this short movie, I find it funny how these two guys have sex, THEN get to know each other.  Odd? Yes, but I can't tell you how many times I've done that myself.  Sad, but true.

Male Bag

BILIKEME-

I just wanted to say thank you. I am grateful for your blog. I ran across it about 2 weeks ago and am hooked. They way you write and capture your audience is outstanding.

A little about me:

I am a gay man and I live in Hawaii. 2 years ago today I lost my partner unexpectedly when he had a stroke. I was devastated and depressed. We were happy and both had our own businesses, owned realty and young with lots of success. When he died I lost everything I loved and lost it all in my depression. Houses, businesses...everything! I gained about 20 pounds and drank heavily every day or took sleeping pills to help me sleep at night. We were only together for 6 years but we were very happy and it showed. We were both hot guys and made a good looking couple. The past two years I gained a lot of weight, stopped working out...well you know. I wouldn't have gone out with me...

Reading your blog has really got me off of my ass and get back into life. I started out by running and it was difficult, but finding your blog helped me get motivated every morning while I drink my cup of coffee and stretch to go to the gym! I look forward to reading your connections and know that one day I will have that excitement, it is exciting to have your blood flowing as you are not sure who you will meet and if things will work out - the chase of it all. It excites me and gets me motivated and helped to change my direction in life. I now work out twice a day, have stopped taking pills and two days ago I stopped drinking thanks to reading about your life and your honesty.

Mahalo,

A grateful guy
my friends call me Keali'i

Keali'i:

I can only imagine that losing someone after 6 years of happiness is devastating. Thank god, I have not had that feeling.  I do know that when I lost my father, I too was in a funk/depression for a very, very long time.

I made it through without drugs or medication.  But, I remember that every event for that first year was tough.  Father's Day, Holiday's, birthdays...they all were the "First such day without Dad".  They couldn't be joyous.

I imagine you too went through that period.  Now that you've past that initial shock and experience, I hope, as your email said, that you are on your way to coming out of the doldrums that can encompass and almost drown you.  It's something you must continuously work at....Nothing can ever replace the person that you lost, but time can heal wounds...

Immerse yourself into something or many things, if you can..as it seems you have.  Work, the gym, a hobby, church or religious groups.....let it make you busy and hopefully the time will pass.  You never know..being busy, meeting new people..it may just allow you to make some great friends..and who knows what will develop.

I cannot take the credit for you getting off your ass and changing things.  YOU did it.  And apparently, YOU believed it was time..and it sure is! 

Good luck to you Keali'i, and I am proud to call you a friend!

 BLM

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