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How Things End
You know how some relationships end? Sometimes you have an all out brawl. She/he said this, insults flying, maybe a push or shove. Yelling, screaming, cursing, crying.
Others end with a letter, an email, in this day of the internet. Sometimes a phone call is all it takes. Sometimes, it's a calm thing..like just telling someone "this isn't working for me" or "something suddenly came up" or "It's me, not you."
Apparently, Ross and I don't end things that way. Last time and this time, things just drift. We went from two guys in love, perfection..to nothingness. Yea, I sent the email. I got a response from him saying "No way! We're not done." And then, weeks, months later...things just get stretched out. Conversations go from daily, to weekly, to not at all. And that's the stage we're at now. Nothingness.
Am I happy? Of course not. I didn't want things to end that way. I tried. I tried to light a spark under him. I tried asking him. And at some point, I stopped trying. Maybe it was a test. What was the response to me stopping? I didn't get any. That was telling to me. If he couldn't fight for me, then, we were done.
I'm sure we'll talk again in the future at some point, and I'll keep you up to date, but, it's over, relationship wise between us. I know it. Apparently he knows it. I won't go down that path again (I know, I've said that before). I'm happy to have him as a friend. And we'll leave it at that.
3 comments:
I am real sorry it had to end that way. It's hard to understand. I think you did your best but I guess Ross is unsettled emotionally. Do you think this is caused by the age difference or just the difference in him?
BLM: No doubt this is a bitter pill to swallow but you knew it was time to make the call. I'm sorry for your heartache. Many of us knows what it feels like when love is not returned in equal measure so we feel your suffering. We have been hoping things turned out well, just waiting for that new posting announcing a rekindling that never came. The indifference you feel saps your energy that could be better directed elsewhere. It is not truly an end since you still have him as a friend - perhaps given some time a different relationship will emerge that gives you some satisfaction. Let those memories of past times together comfort you -- those wonderful experiences can't be taken away. Let them soothe your heart. Take the time to grieve knowing that things will be okay.
I'm so sorry. :( I just broke up with a sort-of boyfriend but that's only because I realized he wasn't good for me. We just drifted. Life goes on. I suppose relationships that didn't last aren't worth worrying about because they were gonna end eventually somehow.
I really like your slideshow btw
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