Bi Like Me Redux: The Bucket List

MISSING ME? I hope so..I have been busy, very busy at work. So, I continue to post some old, but favorite blog posts, but only for another week or so.  You will see me again, with all new posts and stories.  And boy! do I have stories! ;)

***
I've never seen the movie..but I can grasp the concept for sure.

You know the story, two guys wrapped up in their busy lives. Too busy to appreciate the things in life that matter--things they promised they would do before they die. Then life delivers an urgent and unexpected wake-up call to both of them. Carter and Edward find themselves sharing a hospital room with plenty of time to think about what might happen next--and about how much of that was in their hands. They discover that they have an unrealized need to come to terms with who they were and the choices they'd made, and a pressing desire to spend the time they had left doing everything they ever wanted to do.

So, against doctor's orders and all good sense, these two virtual strangers check themselves out of the hospital and hit the road together for the adventure of a lifetime--from the Taj Mahal to the Serengeti, the finest restaurants to the seediest tattoo parlors, the cockpit of vintage race cars to the open door of a prop plane--with just a sheet of paper and their passion for life to guide them. Adding and crossing items off their list while taking in the grandeur and beauty of the world, they grapple with the difficult questions and the even more difficult answers that plague all of us.

It got me to thinking..what's my Bucket List? At initial thought I would love to be financially secure..able to buy the things I would want without thinking. Simple right? So, here it is:

BUCKET LIST #1:
     1) financially secure..no, make that stinking, messy, disgustingly, filthy fuckin rich!
     2) buy a huge house, one that people see and it leaves them speechless with all the most advanced gadgetry, i.e., "Cribs-like"
     3) have some amazingly beautiful cars...
 
Yea, yea..sounds really nice..but would that make me happy? I have doubts....

So I was again deep in thought...
I have a good job..used to be better..could be much better..and career certainly makes people important, builds character, makes people satisfied..

BUCKET LIST #2:
     1) an amazing career..one that is obviously lucrative, but also keeps me interested, and has prestige and influence
     2) a job that puts me in the public eye, could be political or even something like a college professor...I love kids, love teaching..
     3) a position that has me running things of importance..where I am managing people..because I believe that's where I excel

but, upon thinking..would a career be something I need to do before I die..something I need to accomplish? hmmm..helping people..that's a good theme...

BUCKET LIST #3:
     1)  help the unfortunate..work with people who need assistance, who are struggling to survive..
     2)  I could be a doctor, or better still, work with Habitat for Humanity, or HRC, or go to some foreign land..Africa, Haiti...
     3) travel around the world..that's exciting, no?

eh...I'm still not convinced...my bucket list while it should make others happy, really needs to be about me.  What do I want in my life?  What will make me feel like I've accomplished all I could accomplish?

I know..what's the most important thing?  What's the thing I want most out of life? I should be a little selfish here..after all, this is my dying wish, the thing I've always wanted...

BUCKET LIST #4
I want to be able to wake in the morning with the inspiration to get up and start another amazing day.  I want to be able to begin my day, free of guilt, anticipation of stress, or the thought that I may act in a way that would embarrass or disappoint others.  I would love that my feelings are acknowledged, appreciated, and empathized in the eyes of the people that surround me.  I want to be liked, loved, admired and honored in the same way that I wish to like, love, admire and honor another.  I need the closeness of a person's hug, caress, kiss, and touch..a person that understands and is comfortable with the mutual feelings that I have for them.  I want to be able lay my head down, next to that special someone at the end of the day with the comfort that when I open my eyes again, I only have good things to anticipate and to wake up to.
There is no list.  There's just the one:

I want to be happy.